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To think it was awful to leave this girl out of whole class party just because shes new?

(92 Posts)
stormforce10 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:11:16

DD came home with a party invitation tonight. She rushed over with it and ad I knew she'd be able to go I told party girls mum that dd would love to come. She said that was great and they'd invited whole class except for girl who was new this term as they didn't really know anything about her or her family.

AIBU to have responded "sorry I think you should have asked her its hard enough being new as it is without being left out of something like this" Party girls mum just said well luckily its nothing to do with you and walked off. Fair enough nothing to do with me but couldn't leave it unsaid


DizzyHoneyBee Tue 29-Jan-13 21:31:19

There is no way YABU.

steppemum Tue 29-Jan-13 21:34:09

think you are amazing op to have said it to her (I would have been shock and thought what to say afterwards)

It is just okain mean. If you invite whole class, then you aren't inviting people because they are your dds friends, but just inviting everyone, so why leave anyone out?

SquinkiesRule Tue 29-Jan-13 21:34:52

Thank you for sticking up for that little girl. I hope the woman feels some guilt and brings the girl an invite tomorrow.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 29-Jan-13 21:34:54

That woman will probably be on AIBU explaining crossly she issued invitations and got a strip torn off her by not inviting a new girl.

YANBU what a poor welcome for the new girl - nice of you to stand up and say something. Maybe party mum will reconsider? wild optimist

Anyway how thoughtful of you to ask new girl along to your DD's lunch + play date.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Tue 29-Jan-13 21:36:55

Yanbu. Obviously kids pick their friends to go but if it's a whole class party then no one should be left out!! No ones going to
Get to
Know her if she's not invited anywhere. How bloody mean!!!!

TastesLikePanda Tue 29-Jan-13 21:38:33


I cannot believe how rude the other mum is, not only for leaving the new girl out but for her response to you as well.

She sounds like a real delight... Fancy not inviting a six year old to a party because you don't know anything about her family?

What would she need to know about the family to decide if they are 'acceptable' company? My initial suspicion is about money I'm afraid... But maybe I'm just cynical sad

lovethesun1 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:39:51

Well done you! What a horrible woman-she prob isn't used to being pulled up on her awful behaviour. Yes,I would certainly extend your playdate invite to this little girl, hopefully others will follow your example & not Mrs Mean's!

AllDirections Tue 29-Jan-13 21:40:37

A new girl started in DD3's class on the day she handed out invitations for the whole class a few weeks ago. I really felt for that little girl that night. She got her invitation the next day smile

CalamityJ Tue 29-Jan-13 22:17:55

Well done you for actually saying it not just thinking it! Yes she should have invited the new girl simply just to be nice! I love the fact party mum didn't invite her because she doesn't know anything about her or her family. And how's that going to change if you don't include her in things?

Chubfuddler Tue 29-Jan-13 22:22:08

I couldn't pick out 75% of ds's classmates parents in an ID parade.

What kind of loony bases a seven year olds party on whether they know the family? I bet she sends round robins at Christmas.

bumhead Tue 29-Jan-13 22:24:42


Good on you! I think if it was me I wouldn't take the new girl and my DD out somewhere nice on the day of the party instead. I've been the one left out as a child and it's happened to my DD and it breaks my heart to think of how hurtful it can feel.
Party girls mum sounds like a right bitch!

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 22:25:56

What a nasty woman, I am shock. I would not let dd go to that party

Hulababy Tue 29-Jan-13 22:26:19

YANBU and well done you on actually saying something to the mum.
How awful of the mother; who could ever thing that would be okay to do?
Poor little girl.

Re asking the new girl for tea - yes, do that.

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 22:26:59

Do something nice with the new girl instead. Good on you for sticking up fr her

SparkleSoiree Tue 29-Jan-13 22:28:26

I always find it amazing how many mums control the guest lists of their children's parties as opposed to the children inviting who they would like to be there.

Makes you wonder who the child actually is...


Geekster Tue 29-Jan-13 22:31:06

Good for you. We have just moved to a new area and are finding it hard enough, at least my DD is too young to know about things like this. That poor child. I'm glad you stuck up for her.

Startail Tue 29-Jan-13 22:33:20

She is not being at all nice.

Generally, it's Y5 before you let DDs control the guest list, or it changes three times before the party.

fluffygal Tue 29-Jan-13 22:33:33

YANBU- my daughter is the new girl in her class in year 1, since september. She hasn't been invited to any girls parties yet despite always talking about various girls. DD told me the reason why she wasn't invited is because 'my mum doesn't know your mum'. It has really upset me, I work so am rarely on the school run, we went to one boys party and they all blanked me so when will they ever know me? Will she always be left out?

It doesn't help that some of the girls call her fat (they are 5 and 6 year olds!) So she is having a tough time fitting in. When she asked them why they called her fat (she is a stick) they told her 'because you are new'.

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 22:35:42

Fluffy gal that is so sad people can be so wicked

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 29-Jan-13 22:35:54

As the moves around a lot child of a moves around a lot mother, THANK YOU. The Mum is obviously a nasty, clique type. thanks

LiveItUp Tue 29-Jan-13 22:37:28

YANBU. Well done you, and yes do invite her with the others to yours at the weekend. Nothing worse than being left out. What an evil woman.

MrsMushroom Tue 29-Jan-13 22:42:43

Yanbu my DD began her new school in the beginning of year 3...when all the friendships had formed. The first week, another mum and her DD came up and asked her to tea and the 2nd week she had an invitation to a party.

Those kindnesses have never been forgotten.

diaimchlo Tue 29-Jan-13 22:52:09

YADNBU the birthday girl's mother is!!!!!!

My daughter always throws birthday parties for her children and includes the whole class... one year there was a boy whose Grandmother was so pleased he had been invited as everyone else had excluded him due to his behaviour at school, she cried.........

GaryBarlowsPants Tue 29-Jan-13 22:58:06

YANBU - well done you for sticking up for the new little girl. I'm willing to bet you made that Mother feel ashamed/embarrassed, hence the defensive response.
I think your idea to the newbie to DD's get together is lovely - if only there were more people like you around.

RafflesWay Tue 29-Jan-13 23:02:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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