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WIBU to have told DH to go f*** himself

(370 Posts)
catgirl1976 Mon 28-Jan-13 20:14:43


I work FT in a really demanding job. We have a 14mo DS. DH doesn't work, lost him job 2.5 years ago . Had a break, then I got pg and we decided it would be nice for him to be at home with the baby whilst I was on Mat Leave. Although I was back at work pt when DS was 1 month old and full time when he was 5 months old. He's looking for work now (but not very hard). I do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry, bill paying etc.

DH picked me up from work tonight and then we picked DS up from DMs who has him on Monday. Tues and Thurs he's at nursery, Wed I work from home and Fridays DH has sole care of him. I get up with him every morning, except Sundays , when I get a lie in.

At DMs it was clear DS was tired and hungry. There is no food in the house and DH hasn't cooked anything (never does). I'm knackered so say "We'll get fish and chips on the way home." Quick, cheap and DS likes them.

DH pulls a face and says "We had chips last night"

Which to be fair is true(oven chips and we normally eat pretty well, it's just how it's fallen) but I cba shelpping round the supermarket, then cooking etc. DH then goes "But OK then we will"

DH parks near fish and chip shop. I go out in howling gale, get Fish and Chips. We need to stop at local shop for some cat food etc. Again, it's me that gets out, runs rounds shop, pick up I box cat food, 1 bottle diet coke, get back in car.

DH turns to me and says "What happened? Was there a massive queue?" (With massive, arsey edge to voice)

I say "No. No queue. Why?"

DH: "Well you were gone about 15 minutes"

Me: hmm "No, I wasn't. I was about 5 minutes."

DH: (really arsey) "They played two songs on the radio"

Like I was having a lovely browse in co-op hmm

Me: "Oh fuck off DH"

Get home. DH grabs his food, goes and eats in living room. I feed DS, play with him, bath him, change him, give him his bottle, story and put him to bed. DH played computer games. Which is what he has done all day. He has tidied the kitchen and taken the re-cycling out, but left washing up in the sink and the rest of the house is a bombsite. I've had a hard, shit, long day at work and the period from hell.

WIBU to have told him to fuck off? Would I be further unreasonable to tell him to fuck off some more?

Sorry that was long. I needed to rant. I feel better now.

ChristianGreyIsAJackass Mon 28-Jan-13 20:16:26

Yes... YANBU, tell him to fuck off and buck his bloody ideas up!

GiveMeSomeSpace Mon 28-Jan-13 20:17:25

Jeeessuss - you've got a goodun there! Sounds like he's got used to a very cushy life

hokeycakey Mon 28-Jan-13 20:17:26

That sounds awful and also as though your life might be less stressful if you didn't have to put up with that shit

Shutupanddrive Mon 28-Jan-13 20:17:31

Yanbu at all!! What an arse, I would have done more than tell him to F off, selfish bastard angry

PoppyWearer Mon 28-Jan-13 20:17:36

Tell him to fuck off some more!!

Numberlock Mon 28-Jan-13 20:18:00

So what the fuck does the lazy twat do all day? Tell him to fuck off from me too then kick him out and enjoy the rest of your life.

rubyslippers Mon 28-Jan-13 20:18:23

i would have gone out for supper and left your DH to it

if this is a regular occurrence then your DH needs to buck his ideas up significantly

why doesn't he EVER cook?

this would piss me right off

GiveMeSomeSpace Mon 28-Jan-13 20:18:33

Seriously OP you need to sort it out sharpish. Does he do anything at all?

pictish Mon 28-Jan-13 20:18:50

Yanbu. Why is he not cooking a meal in the evenings? Lazy bastard.

MrsCR Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:01


Sounds like he might be depressed at how much you achieve in a day and how little he does.

Can't believe you have to sort out so much extra child care when he is not working and at home playing computer games??

He needs a kick up the arse and to grow up, man up, sort himself out.

Now go get some wine, you deserve a glass!!

Oh, btw you should probably sit down and have a chat about how he is feeling etc, instead of a rant - communication rules OK

thebody Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:06

What the actual fuck does he do???? He sounds a lazy nasty self entitled arse and you are a door mat mug op.

Again what does he do to contribute to your lives together?

Mrsrobertduvall Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:06

He is a lazy bastard.
And if it was a husband complaining about a wife, she would be a lazy bastard as well.

HumphreyCobbler Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:21

He does no childcare, no housework and earns nothing.

What is this man bringing to your life?

I think you were right to tell him to fuck off.

Arion Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:23

Why are you doing all the housework when DS is with his Gran one day and nursery 2 days? Your DH should be organising shopping and the running of the house if he is the SAHP.

What are his good points? Does he bring anything to the relationship?

rubyslippers Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:49

maybe he isn't job searching very hard because he has a nice cushy number

only one day per week sole charge of a toddler

no cooking or cleaning, laundry etc to be done

how haven't you cracked before this???

thehairybabysmum Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:54

I think I would say F off and keep on going!! Can't see how your life would be harder as a single mum?

Depends if ou actually get anything out of your relationship?

Sorry, it sounds hard but YANBU!

ExasperatedSigh Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:58

Tell him to fuck off out of your life, the selfish useless prick.

FabulousFreaks Mon 28-Jan-13 20:20:00

I don't understand why he does so little and you do so much. If the situation doesn't change you will crack and it will be worse than a simple fuck off.

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail Mon 28-Jan-13 20:20:15

Why exactly do you put up with this? He's at home all day every day, yet your DS spends 3 of those days being looked after by someone else and he does NO cooking or cleaning?

Seriously. Why? confused

chewingguminmyhair Mon 28-Jan-13 20:20:16


Tell him to fuck off! Seriously, you may as well be a single mum! Get rid of him and get a new one in time for summer.

MadameCastafiore Mon 28-Jan-13 20:20:48

Why is gods name is dm having your son and why is he in daycare if your DH is at home, doing fuck all?

You sound like someone seriously having the piss taken out of them!

catgirl1976 Mon 28-Jan-13 20:21:04

He's great with DS and does his fair share there (except getting up with him) and he takes me to and from work each day, but other than that he just plays computer games.

I don't want to LTB and just really needed a rant, but he really fucks me off sometimes.

nefertarii Mon 28-Jan-13 20:21:24

Why does your child have so many people looking after him if your dh doesn't work?

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail Mon 28-Jan-13 20:21:43

No he doesn't do his fair share! Did you read your OP???

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