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AIBU to think thankyou letters should just say nice things and thankyou?

(40 Posts)
BorderBinLiner Mon 28-Jan-13 12:02:24

DH sent his nieces (aged 6 & 4) for Christmas a boxset of Moomin books and some cute little metal Moomin tins of sweets he'd brought back from Hong Kong.

We got this letter back:
To DD1 + DD2
thankyou For the sweets and the moomine books I cant read them they are too tricky but we licked them. we did not licke the sweets.
love from niece1 and niece 2

AIBU to think thankyou letters should just say nice things and thankyou?
[Background: SIL is rather passive/aggressive/critical at family events so we sense that she will have encouraged being honest about not the correct reading level and 'liking'/'not liking' the present]

MamaMumra Mon 28-Jan-13 15:11:01

I agree with Chandon

Even if there was parental involvement, SIL my not have been deliberately rude. Does your DH think the note was rude?

ethelb Mon 28-Jan-13 14:51:58

If the parent's were involved it's rude.

However, I just thought the letter was really funny and can see the children being mortified about this when older.

I remember my sister being given a fleece blanket aged 5 and shouting very loudly "why on earth did you think I would like that?!" grin

Chandon Mon 28-Jan-13 14:48:00

I think OP has sense of humour failure, come on, it is a funny note and brutaly honest, as kids are.

Sending a prissy lttle note back is just so....prissy

TomArchersSausage Mon 28-Jan-13 14:46:54

Lol this is quite funny thoughgrin.

Yes it's terribly rude...but they did at least send a letter.

You could always reply that they they've licked the wrong bit of the present.

BarbarianMum Mon 28-Jan-13 14:45:34

Well I wouldn't have let my two send it OP, but I think its funny and rather sweet.

My 4 and 7 year olds had a great lesson in tact this year when thanking a childless friend on mine for the 'War of the Worlds' DVD she sent them hmm. Was very tempted to go with 'Thank you for the DVD. I'm sure we will like it in 6-8 years time when mummy will let us watch it' but I didn't.

Pandemoniaa Mon 28-Jan-13 14:45:27

YANBU. It was a thank you letter, not a review. Brutal honesty needs to take second place to courtesy in this instance.

BeaLola Mon 28-Jan-13 14:44:00

Brownie points that you received a thank you letter - it made me laugh. Suspect that your SIL had input as "tricky" point doesn't ring true. Maybe they were worried that you may buy them the sweets every year!

My dear Goddaughter is 16 & I have have sent 16 years of birthday & christmas gifts through posts & can count on one hand the number of thank you's I have had verbally or written !

aldiwhore Mon 28-Jan-13 14:38:00

So rude... even if it is 'a child's honesty' it wouldn't have got out of our house.

Thank you is thank you, whether you liked/licked the gift is irrelevent.

HoratiaWinwood Mon 28-Jan-13 14:35:15

Don't be so sure, Bugsy. My 4yo has just discovered writing, and will sometimes randomly shout "how do you spell pterodactyl" while I'm stirring the tea grin

PostBellumBugsy Mon 28-Jan-13 13:40:46

Amazed they can spell tricky!!!! Not an easy word for a 6 year old, particularly given the other spelling mistakes. Suspect there was alot of parental input into that note & therefore, it is rude!

MardyArsedMidlander Mon 28-Jan-13 13:33:16

Ungrateful little so and sos! ( bloody love the Moomins)

You could also add 'Sorry about the books- it's just that our own DC loved them at that age- but I forget that not all children are at that level....'

Startail Mon 28-Jan-13 12:57:54

I always wanted to send my grandmother.

"Thank you for the hideous clothes, please send money instead next time."

Instead my DM got lumbered with dropping anvil sized hints.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 28-Jan-13 12:54:34


BorderBinLiner Mon 28-Jan-13 12:52:14

DonkeysDontRideBicycles word processed, round-robin, boast-battle thank you letters - what is the world coming to.

<clutches pearls, snorts strong smelling salts.>

OhTheConfusion Mon 28-Jan-13 12:51:10

Both responses are fab!

meddie Mon 28-Jan-13 12:44:29

Haha HeadfirstforHalos. That is the work of a pure evil genius... I salute you smile

HeadfirstForHalos Mon 28-Jan-13 12:40:15

"look SIL, this is really awkward but i thought you ought to know what your DCwrote in their thank you letter, it was really rude. You might want to check them in future, in case they send something similar to MIL, or someone who won't find it as funny as we did."

^ That is goood

HeadfirstForHalos Mon 28-Jan-13 12:39:11

Send them a note back

"Don't worry about not being able to read the books yet, you're very clever girls and will be able to soon. I have a great idea though, mummy could read them to you for now! It's okay about the sweets, I'm sure mummy will eat them, she looks like she likes sweets a lot."

I wouldn't dare mind grin

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 28-Jan-13 12:36:05

It's the thought that counts grin at least they wrote! I'd let it wash over me to be honest. I get word processed generic thank you letters that say thanks for the gift then detail other more costly presents at length plus additional descriptions of huge treats and extravagant days out. Am I jealous of that family's spending power, probably but I know which sort of letter I'd rather get. (Your nieces').

Doyouthinktheysaurus Mon 28-Jan-13 12:26:07

That's made me chuckle to be honest! There's something about the spelling and the honesty that makes me smile.

I know it is rude but it's obviously written by a child and children can be brutally honest.

No way would I have let either of my dses write a note like that though so if the parents were aware they ABVU!

BorderBinLiner Mon 28-Jan-13 12:24:49

Like MsVestibule this is a JUST SAY THANKS house and over the years we've had to hunt around for the correct phrase and/or facial expression for some shockingly ill thought out gifts.

It's the thought that counts, etc. I don't mind the spellings and looks like they've rubbed bits out and rewritten it so a lot of efforts gone into it.

Am thinking about lifting ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay's paragraph - you're good at this double bluff thing.

sparkle12mar08 Mon 28-Jan-13 12:21:05

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay - that's a brilliant response, OP please use it!

DeWe Mon 28-Jan-13 12:20:47

The bit about the books is fine. They couldn't read them themselves, but presumably the parents read them to them and they did like them. Can't see any problem with that. It's honest, nice and probably true. Whereas if they'd writted "Thank you for the books they are great" they may well have been told to put that and hated/not even looked at the books.

We didn't like/licke the sweets. Assuming they didn't mean lick, then I don't really have it as an issue at their age. I might try and have a giggle with their parents so they know to check next year when it starts to look rude.

On the other hand, we as children used to get a present every year from a relative. We'd write back lovely thank you notes saying how much we loved it... Actually none of us liked it, and it either sat in the cupboard until it went out of date, or we gave it away to someone who liked it. It seemed a little ridiculous, I'm sure they wouldn't have minded getting something different.

ISeeSmallPeople Mon 28-Jan-13 12:20:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVestibule Mon 28-Jan-13 12:17:12


I send presents to my friend's children. Once I bought her DS(then 7) a type of present that would work far better if there were two of them so he could play with a friend. So I posted two. She phoned to say thank you, and said "Why did you send two? He was a bit confused." Fair question, but when I replied "I thought that when his friends came round to play, they could use them." She said "Oh. Well, he doesn't really have any friends come round to play." She might as well have told me it was a shit present and wasted my money.

On another occasion, I sent a book to her baby. Again, she phoned to say thanks, but told me they'd bought the same book for him. Why tell me?


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