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to be having a little giggle that friend's plan for night feeding before birth didn't last up to the reality

(78 Posts)
kim147 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:07:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebitchdoctor Tue 29-Jan-13 08:33:24

I understand where you're coming from OP.

I was an idiot pre DD and was all 'she will be born naturally, BF perfectly, sleep through, I will never co-sleep and it will all be lovely'.

As my mum used to say to me when I pontificated about how 'easy' it will be 'The Babies Havent Read The Books'.

LO and behold I was induced for pre-eclampsia, she refused to Bf, was readmitted due to latch refusal, has terrible reflux, has only just started to sleep through at 18 fricking months and my house was a shithole thanks to severe PND and PTSD from my nightmare labour/birth and postnatal trauma.

My best friend is currently expecting her pfb. And she keeps coming out with some right humdingers because she has researched. She refused to accept that she would have SPD when I told her it sounded like she did because she was healthy yet she could understand why I had it because I wasn't. She looks down on me for being 'bullied' into induction and EMCS (ummm... Preeclampsia anyone?) and she doesn't think I tried hard enough with BF.

Then she looks down on the fact my house isn't perfect and is adamant her house will remain spotless and baby will BF on schedule.

I realised I'm making her out to be horrible here and she really isn't. She's just an idiot like most mums are before they have their babies and realise it isnt the perfect amazing experience we all hope it will be...although my word is it worth it.

When she calls me, knackered and stressed over her filthy house and constantly feeding baby. I will try to avoid being smug, go round and help her clean and let her have a rant/cry. although an apology for some of the things she said would be nice, she really upset me with some of the things she said about my induction and EMCS

NumericalMum Tue 29-Jan-13 08:41:24

That's the thing though, some of the comments are hurtful and imply you are some how weak or stupid for not having a baby sleeping through at x weeks or a spotless house...!

BigBoPeep Tue 29-Jan-13 12:27:15

I think sleeping through is a concept that should just be put in the bin. Abandon any plans/thoughts about it. Some (most?) adults I know don't 'sleep through', so why would a baby? I don't always sleep the same hours, eat the same hours, shit the same hours, so why would a baby? Theyre just little people, not aliens! Surely most other parents get sick to the back teeth of the endless questions/discussions/advice about 'getting them to sleep through'.

As for lying about how good babies are, maybe its unintentional? Everybody says my baby is 'good', and I agree. But I know they only see the carefully contrived I've-done-everything-she-wanted happy baby, and that if I had tried to make her sleep in a cot or put her down at all in the first 6mo she would not be perceived as 'good'.

ok glad I got that off my chest grin

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