to expect exH to spend 10 minutes helping DD with her homework

[Mistressmiggins]

Thats it. DD (8) had maths homework which should have taken between 10-20mins. ExH had kids from Friday str after school til 4pm today. He said (for once) he would help her. She came home & said she had done her homework in the back of the car. This means a) dad just gave her the answers and helped her spell the numbers and b) didnt help with the word search.
I have to do that tomorrow with her.

I am constantly telling the children to take their homework to their dads even though he constantly lets them down. What about when they are at senior school and have a lot of homework?

[RedHelenB]

I think YAB a bitU.

If they are not doing it properly at their Dad's why insist they take it?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

YANBU. Her Dad should have made a few minutes to get her to do it. Even an 8 yr old needs guidance sometimes, but that does not mean being given the answer.

[nightshade]

You r not Being u, but That is prob one of the réasons hé is an ex husband!

[Mistressmiggins]

Really??
Surely homework is part of a parent's responsibility.
If the DCS are at their dad's isnt it his responsibility to make sure they do their homework and help if required?
There are plenty of non-resident dads moaning about their ex wives yet mine doesnt see helping with homework as part of his role as parent.

I "insist" they take it because they are away all weekend and so too tired to do it when they get back.

[blackeyedsusan]

when does it have to be handed in?

can you arrange for extra time for you dd to do homework on ex's weekends as he is not supporting her to do it?

[nightshade]

How responsible was hé when he lived at home?

[Mistressmiggins]

needs to be handed in tomorrow
I will find time tomorrow but its more long term as clearly exH doesnt see homework as a priority.
euphemia I understand what you're saying but at 8yrs children still need a prod to actually sit down and do their homework.
I think you are wrong to think she should take complete responsibility.

[Mistressmiggins]

nightshade left when DS was 3 and DD was 18mths - was totally handsoff when lived at home

[HollyBerryBush]

I see both sides - NRP gets less time with the children, RP gets all the bog standard day to day stuff. Not fair the NRP gets the fun weekends and doesnt step up to the plate when it comes to the crap stuff like HW.

[HollyBerryBush]

Furthermore I fail top see how the back of a car is a suitable envionment either.

As the RP, the OP will be the one who gets all the sarky comments from the school

[Mistressmiggins]

With children though shouldnt be both sides.
part of being a parent whether resident or not is nurturing and homework comes with that.
to be honest, I usually dont send it as he never bothers but Im trying to encourage him to work with his children.
getting to the point where I wont bother.

my comment re senior school stands - if he doesnt encourage them now, how will it work when they have lots of homework?

It is the parent's role to support and encourage.

[nightshade]

So u r definitely not Being u, but why do u expect him to be any different now? Usually ex h get worse not better after séparation!

[Mistressmiggins]

Euphemia
struggling to see your POV to be honest

encouraging or helping - my exH failed on both - thats all I asked

[Daddelion]

If my maths is right you've been separated 6 1/2 years?

He's not going to change. Only ten years to go.

By the way both my children are now at secondary and I very, very rarely get asked to help them with homework.

[HopAndSkip]

Is DD's teacher approachable/helpful. Could you have a word about how ExH still won't help with hw, and ask her to give him a ring and explain what level of help and quality of work the school expects to be done with homework.