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To be upset at being called a selfish cunt at a concert?

(271 Posts)
TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:44

Just got back from a concert in town and although it was fantastic it was spoiled for us a bit. I'm sure IANBU, but perhaps need some perspective.

Friend and I had seats at the end of a row, in the back corner of the arena so looking diagonally towards the stage, next to us was a woman perhaps in her late 70s/early 80s which was a bit surprising, we'd expected more to be with our own age group but other than being mildly surprised we didn't give it a second thought.

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering like the majority of people there and a woman leans over from a few seats above & behind us and yells "you do know you two are the only ones stood up in this section don't you, why don't you sit down so other people can see" in a very aggressive tone. We said we're sorry but this is a music concert, strange as it is that this particular section seems to be filled with boring old farts people not wanting to dance actually 95% of the arena are on their feet. She yelled again that this poor woman next to us couldn't see and we ended up having a row where we explained our reasons for standing and she called us various names and eventually left. We felt a bit uneasy then but not sure what to do, our enjoyment would be spoiled by having to stop dancing/waving/cheering but of course not wanting the lady next to us to have her night spoiled either. We offered her our aisle seat to sit in so she would be in front of us and our standing wouldn't get in her way but she turned it down so we tried to get over the row and enjoy ourselves.

Ten minutes later the other woman comes back, on her way to the toilet passed behind us and yelled "I hope you're having a good time you selfish pair of cunts!" before stomping off. We were shock and tbh a bit upset. Didn't retaliate, so hopefully retained the mythical moral high ground but still it took away from an otherwise good night.

What would you have done? We paid the same as everyone else, we went there looking forward to dancing and jumping about as is usual at concerts, almost everyone else was, if the older lady couldn't stand then there were disabled seats available but she had booked a standard seat. We did offer her ours but she turned it down and from what we could see everyone else could have stood up if they chose. We weren't allowed to move and stand anywhere else. AIBU?

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:30

"people will be dancing and swaying, you can't expect people to sit like statues"

You can sit and sway you know. Not everyone likes standing for a couple of hours. Concerts aren't only for the young and able bodied.

confusteling Sun 27-Jan-13 11:03:15

< is sometimes considered an insult to the band to sit during performances, particularly in heavy metal. Even in venues that provide seating, generally the audience will stand for the band's performance>

From wiki article on concert ettiquete


BoneyBackJefferson Sun 27-Jan-13 11:04:05


There are many different types of concert.

Sirzy Sun 27-Jan-13 11:06:32

I only go to concerts where I can sit, I can't physically stand for the whole concert hence me getting a seat. Selfish people like you put people who struggle, or simply don't want to stand, in an awkward position.

MadamFolly Sun 27-Jan-13 11:08:45

I think if you offered to switch so she could see and she refused then YANBU.

Groovee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:12:45

Oh God, dd's got little mix tickets for Tuesday and its a fully seated venue. Am I going to have someone yelling that at her? hmm. If the venue is fully seated then I don't know what the answer is. But when we were at Take That, it was tiered seating which allowed us to stand if we wanted to or sit. I did a bit of both.

Porkster Sun 27-Jan-13 11:15:19

I think you were very selfish.

If everyone was standing fair enough, but how could you justify blocking people's views? Most unreasonable of you, imo.

My husband's 'only' in his 40s, but has a slipped disc. He'd be in absolute agony if he was on his feet just so he could see past people like you, op.

discorabbit Sun 27-Jan-13 11:15:38

what a sorry state of affairs concerts have become if you cannot stand up and dance

glad i got the glory days of the mosh pit grin

i seriously hate sitting through a music concert (unless it's mozart of course)

RedHelenB Sun 27-Jan-13 11:18:41

Why not offer to swap seats with them so they could see & you could dance?

Katz Sun 27-Jan-13 11:19:22

i've been to many concerts at big arenas, always buy seated tickets and always stand and dance when the acts come on. Sit down occasionally and understand that in doing so i'll lose my view. Concerts, esp music gigs which is what i think this is, thats pretty normal surely.

Many gigs i've been to the floor is seated too so no standing bits and you told to stay in the area of your seat and not dance in the aisles.

Been to see Pulp, Take That and Scouting for Girls all recently and everyone stood up for various parts, no complaining from those who didn't.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Jan-13 11:19:44

She did RedHelen, she says so in her post.

Celticlassie Sun 27-Jan-13 11:20:58

It is impossible to answer this without knowing who the band were. I've been at seated gigs before and EVERYONE has stood up and danced, but have also been at gigs where it would clearly been inappropriate to do so.

Would always choose to stand though, if it was an option.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 27-Jan-13 11:22:35

It's normal to stand up and dance.

I don't think you did anything wrong, I think the other person maybe didn't understand that this is what happens.

I think you tried your best by offering to swap seats.

BookFairy Sun 27-Jan-13 11:26:08

I went to the O2 to see Jason Mraz before xmas. There were no standing only areas and there were no instructions that the audience should remain seated, aside from no standing in the aisles.

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 11:30:47

But you assess the situation and if your actions spoil it for others then you sit.

Viviennemary Sun 27-Jan-13 11:32:00

I would want my money back if people stood up and danced at a concert so I couldn't see. If it was a standing concert fair enough but if it was sitting down then you were being unreasonable to stand. However, this should be made clear on the tickets so everyone will know where they stand (or sit).

PrincessOfChina Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:05

YANBU. It's a pop concert.

If you should not be standing then you wouldn't be allowed to stand. I've been to venues where they don't allow you to stand. Anything else is fair game I'm afraid.

It's not like you can really see anything when you're in the back c

PrincessOfChina Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:52

Agh. Posted before I finished.

I was saying, it's not like you can see anything from the back corner of a 15,000 seat arena anyway regardless if whether you're sitting or standing!

KenLeeeeeee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:57

I had seated tickets to see Iron Maiden at Twickenham a few years ago and everybody stood up to boogie along, so in that scenario nobody would BU to do so. If everyone else was sitting though, then I think it would BU to stand anyway and obscure someone's view, particularly if this is pointed out to you and you are actually asked to sit down.

So yeah, YWBVU and selfish.

PaellaUmbrella Sun 27-Jan-13 11:36:57


The clue is that you were in the SEATED area. Yes often everybody stands and dances in the seated area, but this obviously wasn't the case at your particular gig if you were the only selfish pair of cunts ones dancing. You should have followed suit from the outset, or at the very least sat down when it was pointed out to you.

Next time get standing tickets.

jamdonut Sun 27-Jan-13 11:40:37

It is annoying! I was at the O2 to see Muse. Seated, we had a fantastic view,until the people in front of us decided it was time to stand up. It was annoying at the time, but I looked around and the people immediately behind us were standing, so we stood as well.
I just think if you've paid for a seat, you should be able to use it and be able to see. Standing for a long time,especially so high up (it makes you a bit giddy!) is not always possible for everyone. (Although I stood for 12 hours without sitting down at Leeds Festival ,in the mud, to see Muse!!)

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:36

I think it's fair enough to stand and dance at a concert - it's what you're supposed to do. If other people don't like it perhaps they'd be happier sitting on the sofa at home listening to a CD.

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:46

YWNBU, been to various gigs & never been lucky enough to get standing tickets (that's right people, they do sell out so it's not always an option) I've always had seated & never actually stayed that way.

DolomitesDonkey Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:51

YABU - hard lesson to learn, but you really really, really fucking rude.

The first concert I ever went to was ruined by a group of people doing just that. In fact I left before the show had finished.

How selfish are you in normal day to day life?

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 11:44:41

^ if you've paid for a seat, you should be able to use it and be able to see.

Unforch even the most expensive seats don't come with an ability to control the behaviour of other people around you though.

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