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To be upset at being called a selfish cunt at a concert?

(271 Posts)
TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:44

Just got back from a concert in town and although it was fantastic it was spoiled for us a bit. I'm sure IANBU, but perhaps need some perspective.

Friend and I had seats at the end of a row, in the back corner of the arena so looking diagonally towards the stage, next to us was a woman perhaps in her late 70s/early 80s which was a bit surprising, we'd expected more to be with our own age group but other than being mildly surprised we didn't give it a second thought.

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering like the majority of people there and a woman leans over from a few seats above & behind us and yells "you do know you two are the only ones stood up in this section don't you, why don't you sit down so other people can see" in a very aggressive tone. We said we're sorry but this is a music concert, strange as it is that this particular section seems to be filled with boring old farts people not wanting to dance actually 95% of the arena are on their feet. She yelled again that this poor woman next to us couldn't see and we ended up having a row where we explained our reasons for standing and she called us various names and eventually left. We felt a bit uneasy then but not sure what to do, our enjoyment would be spoiled by having to stop dancing/waving/cheering but of course not wanting the lady next to us to have her night spoiled either. We offered her our aisle seat to sit in so she would be in front of us and our standing wouldn't get in her way but she turned it down so we tried to get over the row and enjoy ourselves.

Ten minutes later the other woman comes back, on her way to the toilet passed behind us and yelled "I hope you're having a good time you selfish pair of cunts!" before stomping off. We were shock and tbh a bit upset. Didn't retaliate, so hopefully retained the mythical moral high ground but still it took away from an otherwise good night.

What would you have done? We paid the same as everyone else, we went there looking forward to dancing and jumping about as is usual at concerts, almost everyone else was, if the older lady couldn't stand then there were disabled seats available but she had booked a standard seat. We did offer her ours but she turned it down and from what we could see everyone else could have stood up if they chose. We weren't allowed to move and stand anywhere else. AIBU?

CooEeeEldridge Sun 27-Jan-13 10:41:11

Have to say think YABU. I go to a lot of gigs, and if you book seated there is the danger you will actually have to stay sitting down. I'm like you in that I much prefer to be doing a bit of dancing, but if the people around me are sat down then I think you have to follow suit. A lot of places seem to police this now too.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Jan-13 10:41:26

What was the gig?
I need to know if YABU or not.
If it was Daniel O'Donnell you were, If it was Springsteen you weren't.

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 10:42:00

It doesn't really matter though does it. The fact is, the OP's actions were stopping other people who had paid as well, from enjoying the concert.

Adamit Sun 27-Jan-13 10:43:47

you want to danc then get standing tickets.

ywbu and ageist in your OP.

FeckOffCup Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:23

Not all venues have standing tickets, I've been at a venue where it was all seated but pretty much everyone stood for most of it, the only ones who got told off by security were the teenagers in front of us dancing on the actual chairs.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:34

not enough information
who did you see
where was the concert
why didn't you go in the standing area

CloudsAndTrees Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:40

How does it make a difference if OPs way of enjoying the concert spoilt it for someone else when the other persons way of enjoying the concert would have spoiled it for OP?

Why does one valid way of enjoying a concert get to trump another valid way of enjoying the concert?

DoJo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:50:17

YABU - your actions were preventing others' enjoyment of an event, and when they asked you to sit you 'explained your reasons for standing' which presumably amounted to 'because I want to and I don't care if you can't see'. I think her summary of your behaviour is pretty apt.

GlitterySkulls Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:11

this reminds me of when DH & I went to see marilyn manson.

we got seated tickets, due to DH's disabilities he struggles to stand for long periods of time.

two women & 4 or 5 of their teenage offspring came to stand in front of our row, right in front of our seats. we politely explained the situation, & asked them to move so we could see. i got told to "fuck off, it's a mazza gig, (and i apologise for the use of this word) spazzies shouldn't be here anyway" - i went mental, DH had to pull me away. i found a member of staff, out-lined the situation & they let us into the standing area, took us right down the front & provided a fold-up chair for DH.

now, i know you weren't the one being abusive in your situation, op, but i think you were just as selfish as they were. if people pay for a seat, that generally means they want to use it- if you don't, buy a standing ticket- they're usually cheaper anyway.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:13

Sorry - but if you buy 'seated' tickets, you need to sit.

As has already been said, not everyone who is unable to stand for the duration of a concert can or wants to book disabled seating.

You were spoiling the concert for them and you were the one in the wrong (standing in a seated area).

It's unfortunate that you ended up being with people who wanted to sit, but you did and that should have been your problem, not theirs.

Clouds It is rude & ridiculous to say that if you sit in a concert you might as well buy the video. It's sad that you think you should just stay home if they are disabled or are just unable to stand for hours on end. Shame on you

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:35

"Don't most people stand to have a dance and what not?"

No, not necessarily. I hate standing for a couple of hours as it makes my back ache.

"We paid the same as everyone else"

Exactly, so the seated people paid the same as you, only to see your backs and not the band. You are very thoughtless. While I don't condone the use of that language your selfish and inconsiderate actions must have thoroughly spoiled the concert for those who wished to remain seated. You sound very entitled and ageist. Concerts are for everyone to enjoy regardless of age.

Tryharder Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:43


If everyone in your section had stood up, then it would've been fine. But it was wrong for you to stand up when everyone else was sat down and thus deliberately and ostentatiously blocking their view. Very rude.

Good on that woman.

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 27-Jan-13 10:52:19

You have to tell us what the gig was OP so we can judge your musical taste get the full picture.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 27-Jan-13 10:52:35

Clouds because they were 'seated' tickets!!! hmm

WhateverTrevor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:54:42

X factor was on at the MEN last night.
I reckon it was that.
It was probably Rylans granny you were in front ofgrin

I think ywbu as well. How would you have felt if the people in front of you jumped up onto their chairs and started dancing and you couldn't see?

confusteling Sun 27-Jan-13 10:54:47

Admittedly the only "concerts" I've ever been to are the things organised by Girlguiding UK in which various x factor rejects try to entertain 20000 screaming teenage girls - but on those occasions, pretty much everyone stood up irregardless of where they were sat or what they had paid for. Actually remember standing on my seat at one concert (I was only twelve!)

I honestly always thought if you were in an arena or similar it would be perfectly acceptable and normal to stand wherever you were; but if you were in a music hall or such like it might be more normal to stay seated.

I guess like others say it depends on who you are seeing - if it's heavy rock/metal or anything "popular" I'd see it as very normal to stand.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:25

YANBU at all, it's a music concert people will be dancing, it's not Romeo and Juliet hmm. Op was polite and offered the lady seats where they could see. Sorry the lady was rude and nasty

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:28

Oh fuck.

I've got seated tickets for Meat Loaf's farewell concert at the O2, 4ft11 and worrying now that even if I stand I might not be able to see because of people standing in front.

Bastardy gittish cuntwankers.

MunchMunch Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:29


I'm only 5ft so can never see when there are crowds and I would pay for seated just so I could at least see what I'd paid all the money for, I don't just want to hear them sing I want to see them as well.

When I've been to a footy match, if a tall person in fro t stands up, even though the seats are tiered and I stand up I sometimes can't see past them. It's unfair as I've also paid for the ticket.

FutTheShuckUp Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:55

You were BU. And you were being what she said you were

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:57:17

Read you lot it's a concert not a play fgs people will be dancing and swaying, you can't expect people to sit like statues hmm

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:39

if people know they're going to want to dance and sway and whatever then they should book seats at the back so I don't have to be constantly poking the people in front to tell them I can't see through their selfish arses.

BeanJuice Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:41

I do think you were BU given that people in your section were sitting

rhondajean Sun 27-Jan-13 11:00:22

Yep sorry YAbu. If you want to dance you gt standing tickets. Why should people behind you have their view blocked because you want to stand up and bounce around?

You were lucky the stewards didn't enforce the seating with you, most concerts I've been to they have done that.

And she may have used unpleasant words to you, but yknow, there are a lot of people that believe in calling a spade a spade...

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