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To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

(303 Posts)
Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 20:58:36

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.


clarasebal Wed 18-Sep-13 19:28:43

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheDetective Mon 28-Jan-13 23:36:37


It's just temporary displacement!

PickledInAPearTree Mon 28-Jan-13 23:32:14

Taking batteries from someone is stealing! sad

BegoniaBampot Mon 28-Jan-13 23:31:50

An annoying nasty arse, but hey ho, at least you don't steal from your kids.

TheDetective Mon 28-Jan-13 23:27:22

Are you always this annoying Damn? Can someone please remove the batteries from Damn? They just keep going on and on and on and on.

I think we get your opinion now.

Poor OP.

BegoniaBampot Mon 28-Jan-13 23:25:07

And you are just an arse!

DamnBamboo Mon 28-Jan-13 23:02:37

Hmm, yeah.. just to redress the balance of this whole last page.

Still stealing!

GIFT CARD not given to you, but taken by you to buy things you choose to buy is stealing!

BaresarkBunny Mon 28-Jan-13 19:45:15

OP. I don't think yabu.

Skullcandy - of course some people need an iron. An iron is an essential item in our house.

GTbaby Mon 28-Jan-13 16:56:03

i cant believe the comments on this thread, some of them rather mean.

its £30! all my life whenever we had a party we would give money to our parents. ALWAYS. and by this i include my 21st bday!

how about rather then buying the hover with that money, use your own. but then don't buy her/the family those treats from the supermarket to make up for it. or don't go out for a dinner treat one evening? or use her money to buy presents for the parties she goes to?

im sure when one day you speak to your little one about this crazy thread grin she will tell you you did the right thing!

Buy the Hover.

shewhowines Mon 28-Jan-13 13:13:42

I would use them. If money no problem then i would replace in savings. If money is tight then spend on hoover and spend the £30 on a day out when appropriate. You could even "big up" the day out to your DD by saying this day out is for your birthday from....

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Mon 28-Jan-13 13:07:52


Shock horror, if my DCs get a duplicate present, I stick it in the regifting cupboard and don't replace. Apparently I'm stealing £10 off them each time.

ModernToss Mon 28-Jan-13 12:55:37

For those who don't think it's theft, would you expect an older child, who has an understanding of the concept of money and what they can do with it, to hand over their gift cards?

Actually my older kids do exactly this, since they recognise exactly how much it costs to keep them at university.

Buy the bloody hoover! You will replay the money in a thousand ways.

lurkerspeaks Mon 28-Jan-13 12:42:02

I often give cash / cheques to the children I don't see much as I am fearful of buying duplicate toys (which would only be regifted on the party merry-go-round).

None of the children I give to are deprived of toys/ books or clothes. I would much rather the money I gave went towards them having something nice eg. a family day out, or a term of swimming lessons or paying for a party.

One family I give to always spend monetary gifts on plastic tat. The parents seem to think I need to buy an OBJECT. I don't, or I would rather buy a useful object, activities eg. swimming lessons or that they save the money than just fritter it on soon forgotten crap. An example is they had a very poorly performing car seat (according to the crash tests, it was actually a which don't buy) I indicated that most of my other friends had another safer but admittedly more expensive one. Mother "we can't afford that". Inwardly I seethed as I had actually deliberately given them enough to buy a car seat (basing my contribution on another friends research) , and had indicated in the covering letter that I was aware this was an expensive time with things like car seat/ bed purchases etc and my money was to defray those costs.

So basically the vacuum cleaner from vouchers wouldn't bother me at all provided the child gets stuff and it sounds like she does!

WadingThroughTreacle Mon 28-Jan-13 12:27:56

It's not such a big deal. I have been known to give my great nephew (I was young when my niece was born!) a tiny present to open and some money in a card and said to niece, if you're hard up and need to spend it on food/bills go for it.

pumpkinsweetie Mon 28-Jan-13 12:15:14

So true kelly!

PolkadotCircus Mon 28-Jan-13 12:13:11

Here,here Kelly!

Op if it makes you feel better just say said voucher is paying for swimming or Rainbow subs if she wants to continue going therefor you'll have the money for a Hoover.Hoovers come before clubs and if there isn't money for a Hoover there isn't money for clubs.Thousands of kids pay for their activities out of bday money and survive.

Also I've just re read your op she's had more than enough,giving her yet more money/treats would not be treating her good values at all.

KellyElly Mon 28-Jan-13 12:03:34

There are some absolute dickheads on this thread. If you need a hoover spend the money, it's not like you're using it on fags and booze or a nice handbag for yourself. Same as if you didn't have food shopping money, or you needed to get your boiler fixed etc. These things a necessities. Any sensible person would agree with you just don't bother posting it on here in future. Better your child is not walking about knee deep in dust and dead skin than has a few more toys. Replace it while you can and give yourself a break.

lovelyladuree Mon 28-Jan-13 11:54:01

The vouchers weren't given to you. There are plenty of things DD can buy from Argos for herself which aren't toys. No excuses. They belong to her. What would you have done if her birthday wasn't until March? Not vacuum until then?

I would just use the vouchers BUT I would make sure I put £30 into her bank account as soon as poss....and would make sure that I did.

DS (10) has his own money and I wouldn't dream of borrowing any unless I was def gonna pay it back - same as he wouldn't help himself to my money!

ByTheWay1 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:00:30

noviceoftheday - well said!! that is exactly what I would think too smile

noviceoftheday Mon 28-Jan-13 10:54:52

This thread is just getting more and more bizarre. As I said OP, I wouldn't think twice about it. The family needs a Hoover right now. The child doesn't need another toy right now.

On the flip side, I give £30 worth of presents to the dcs f v close friends and family. I am sure they would be too proud to ask me for the money. If I love them enough to give their dc £30 of vouchers then I would love them enough to want to use the money for a Hoover if things are tight. The dc won't notice, not deprived and I would be helping a friend out. That's more important to me than yet another toy, because it would make a difference to the life of the family.

Fillybuster Mon 28-Jan-13 10:26:14

YANBU....its not even relevant whether you're hard up....she doesn't need anything at the moment, and you need a hoover.


tintin1969 Mon 28-Jan-13 10:21:21

Are you really asking whether its right to use 'money' given to your daughter? of course its wrong! so what if she has all the toys she'll ever need.

PolkadotCircus Mon 28-Jan-13 10:05:38

It isn't stealing if it is reciprocated which as has been pointed out time and time again it is-in brownie subs,music lessons,comic subscriptions etc.

I'm sure detective can list 101 things she goes without to fund extras-though not sure why she should have to.

Also letting kids have more and more which they don't need or want isn't good imvho. Spending a voucher just because after you've just had mountains isn't something. I want my dc to make a habit off tbf.

AmberSocks Mon 28-Jan-13 09:58:48

did i say she was a failed parent?can you show me where i said that?

obviously not,else you wouldnt have to steal from your daughter.just because she is a child doesnt mean its not stealing.if this was about your dh or an adult everypne would be saying its wrong,oh but sorry i forgot children dont have rights do they.

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