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To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

(303 Posts)
Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 20:58:36

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.


DonderandBlitzen Sun 27-Jan-13 09:15:38

I think this is absolutely fine. It sounds like she has more than enough presents and she will benefit from having a clean floor.

Yama Sun 27-Jan-13 09:17:09

I bet the party cost a heck of a lot more than £30.

Use them. Don't feel guilty.

DonderandBlitzen Sun 27-Jan-13 09:18:16

It would be different if your dd had hardly any toys or presents and would miss the voucher.

noviceoftheday Sun 27-Jan-13 09:21:11

Theft?!!! shock I wouldn't think twice about using it and I wouldn't feel guilty either.

Iggity Sun 27-Jan-13 09:22:01

It's not as if you are spending her three million trust fund on Jimmy Choos. I would use it. If you were short on money for food, I hope you wouldn't hesitate to use it.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 09:24:44

It is stealing.
They were given to her and not to you.

If you take them, you should pay it back later.

If you don't - you have stolen from your daughter.

I wonder if the people who gave her the gift cards would have been happy instead to just give you the money to buy your hoover? Probably not.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 09:26:11

Use it. As you say, she won't notice

Love this! How about an elderly person who has cash lying around and doesn't really have anything to spend it and wouldn't notice if someone took a little of it.

Is that ok? No, it's not so why on earth is this.


littleducks Sun 27-Jan-13 09:27:42

I would be keen to use gift vouchers as soon as possible after all the stories of big companies goin bust and not honouring them.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 09:29:17

Of course it isn't theft! It's reorganising family funds

I strongly suspect that if teenage children helped themselves to £30 from their parents because they didn't think they needed it, it wouldn't be called reorganising family funds. It would be 'my teenage DD/DS stole from my purse'

Also love it that people are saying 'you spent a lot on the party/presents etc'... so basically the kid is now in part footing the cost of this because she will lose her £30 vouchers with no say in the matter.

ImpatientOne Sun 27-Jan-13 09:32:06


When I give money (or vouchers) for young children I fully expect the parents to decide - or at least have a significant say - in how/where it's spent. I don't think that children should be overloaded with toys, goodies and impractical outfits when their parents are worrying about essential expenses.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 09:32:29

How does a gift suddenly become family money???????

Does this work all ways within the family.

Also, if she doesn't need anything, why didn't you tell people not to buy her anything rather than let them do so and then swiftly pocket it yourself?

Strangemagic Sun 27-Jan-13 09:35:59

If you need to use your childs vouchers,then will you have the cash to put back into her savings.
It's only your opinion that she doesn't need anything,maybe she just wants something.

coppertop Sun 27-Jan-13 09:42:01

I'm nodding away in agreement with DamnBamboo.

If you use the vouchers then you should give dd the money in return when you can.

The vouchers were intended for your dd, not for her parent(s) to buy a hoover with. Borrow them if it's an emergency, but not paying the money back at some point would be wrong IMO.

BooksandaCuppa Sun 27-Jan-13 09:43:15

If you really can't afford the vacuum cleaner any other way then YANBU.

However, to me, it feels more 'wrong' to take money/vouchers given by schoolfriends (well their parents) than it does were they from family (who probably wouldn't mind it being used for a family item if needed). I don't think I would do it with gifts from other small people to your small person.

threesypeesy Sun 27-Jan-13 09:47:00

also strongly agreeing with damnbamboo. maybe if having such a big party left you soshort of money you should have scaled it back

i will now reconsider ever buying a child a voucher as a preasent with so many parents willing to free load off it, buy the voucher off her or paying back is acceptable though

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 27-Jan-13 09:51:22

YABVU, they were not given to the family to buy a hoover they were a present to your DD.

I often pop a little cash on top of party presents for children as i know they lve having their own money to spend. Shall think twice now if other parents feel its theirs to do with as they please.

BooksandaCuppa Sun 27-Jan-13 09:52:37

yy threesypeesy.

Tbh, I would never have given a voucher/money to a 5 year old anyway. Only over 10s. Hopefully, they would be able to keep track for themselves how much they were given!

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 09:58:48

"If you are saving the rest of the birthday money you could put £30 into her savings and then use the vouchers to buy your Hoover. That way you're not cheating your daughter out of her presents and neither are the vouchers being wasted on toys she doesn't need."

That is exactly what I would do.

DD got a couple of tops from Monsoon for Christmas. She hated them so I took them back and she couldn't find anything else she liked (she just isn't a Monsoon type of girl) so I was given a gift card with the amount credited on to it. DD then went elsewhere and chose something else to the same value as the gift cards which I paid for. I will now use the gift card on myself if I ever manage to find something I like.

BadLad Sun 27-Jan-13 10:02:51

Why not ask the people who gave the vouchers if they would mind you using them to buy a hoover?

If you feel uncomfortable asking them, then you have your answer if YABU or not.

Otherwise, use them if they say it's OK. But I would be pissed off if I had given my, say, niece vouchers for a toy and it was spent on a hoover, no matter how many toys she had.

BadLad Sun 27-Jan-13 10:04:43

That is, instead of using them and not replacing the money. I don't see anything wrong with buying the vouchers from her.

Nagoo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:05:22

I would do it, but I would put the money into her account when I had it.

I always get stung like this, I take the cash the DC are given, and 'beam' the money into their account from mine.

Then I see the cash in my purse, and always end up buying them something with it anyway.

McNewPants2013 Sun 27-Jan-13 10:08:26

If I had given a child money for her birthday I would be pissed off if the parent used the money for them self and didn't replace it, especially just after Christmas where is it normally a struggle.

My sister used the money I gave to DN, however it will go into his savings

sparkina Sun 27-Jan-13 10:10:23

Use the vouchers. I think we can safely say during the course of the next year dd will get her money back and more through days out, treats and the odd indulgent buy. Give yourself a break. Plus on needs a clean carpet to play with all ones toys doesn't one. She will benefit too!!!!!!!!!!! X

Somethingtothinkabout Sun 27-Jan-13 10:10:37

Wow, I feel quite strongly about this that YABVU. I'm so shocked that people think this is ok hmm

My XBIL, when my Dsis kicked him out (for being a physically abusive gambler who took out secret loans on her house) emptied my nephew's (who was 2 at the time) savings account of a couple of grand saying he needed to buy my DN a bed etc for his new house. (XBIL, unsurprisingly, had never contributed to his son's savings, nor did he spend it on a bed, he gambled it).

This was theft (court said so and ordered him to pay it back, not that he has yet, 3 years later).


You really need to pay her back the £30 in cash asap if you take it.

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Sun 27-Jan-13 10:16:16

I would. In a second!

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