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To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

(416 Posts)
WhistlingNun Sat 26-Jan-13 14:45:58

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.


metimeatlast Sat 16-Mar-13 17:24:34

by the way, when i wrote my last post i stand by it as being 3 families, so 3rds, yet i think that you should hire a 3 bedroom caravan, so that you each get your monies worth for the holiday, and the privacy aswell. I never meant to imply that the entire bills for the holiday should be split by 3, as indeed you will incure costs that they wont, due to your DC. BUt regarding the Caravan, you should pay a 3rd. Thats just IMHO though

TravelinColour Sat 16-Mar-13 17:12:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

metimeatlast Sat 16-Mar-13 17:06:53

HI , i read about the first page of this and its all bullshit tbh, i use haven all the time, at the end of the day the cost is per caravan, not per room, as you are going as 3 seperate families you SHOULD CERTAINLY pay for a third of the bill. end of!!!! they are not paying your share, nor an extra share for your child as the caravan hire like you say would be the same if you or they werent going.
Dont be bullied into it, they arent doing you any favours on this one! If i were you id take your DC alone, and bugger them!

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:14

Is that over a weekend? Are they showing as full?

I'd keep looking they sometimes release more dates.

PureQuintessence Sat 26-Jan-13 23:16:52

HOLY COW! The Codes actually work!

I have been trying to book Camber Sands in Sussex for our family!

Sadly, we are working, and can only do 3-6 May, and it seems the offers are only valid midweek, so no good for us. But, oboy, it is a good deal for people who can take time off, and dont have children in school!!

BegoniaBampot Sat 26-Jan-13 22:58:58

Don't think her friends sound very much like friends TBH.

FeltOverlooked Sat 26-Jan-13 22:47:37

I think it is really important to acknowledge when people have listened and changed their minds. In my real-life friendships, I will forgive just about anything if people give a genuine apology and have genuinely revised their ideas. It takes a lot of guts to do, especially if you have been so set in your opinion in the other direction.

I think OP has been brave, both on the forum but more importantly to her real-life friends. If I were her friend, I would be impressed and happy that she had valued my opinions, even if it took a little while.

Boomerwang Sat 26-Jan-13 22:28:07

What's all this back slapping and 'well done for agreeing with the majority' business?

I know that this is the place to go if you want real opinions, but it's starting to sound like welcoming a runaway into a commune.

OP, I understand it's not so easy to click your fingers and magic up the cash to take your kid on a great holiday, and that it's great to have company and some help so I can't just say 'dump the crap mates and get better ones' but I hope things go a little easier on you next year. I feel you won't forget this.

BlueEyedPeas Sat 26-Jan-13 20:48:40


Ha ha, maybe you could all contact Haven and say that you will ALL be sleeping on the floor, so the caravan should be free! grin


I have tears running down my face grin

twentythirteen Sat 26-Jan-13 20:25:31

They have to share a room. Would you have had the room to yourself if your dd weren't going? I would want to pay less for a shared room than I would expect to pay for a room to myself or to share with my own dd.

BegoniaBampot Sat 26-Jan-13 20:24:51

Am I the only then that if me and 2 friends were going to a caravan and one friend brought along their 5 yr old -I would happily split it 3 ways for the adults and would feel bad if the friend with child paid more then us?

I'm really surprised at the the replies here in this situation.

ModernToss Sat 26-Jan-13 20:21:02

Well done OP for changing your mind and letting your friends know.

I too think they'll be impressed that you've clearly been able to see their point of view, and are prepared to act on your revised opinion. You've probably saved the friendships.

mamab30 Sat 26-Jan-13 20:20:32

If your child wasn't going would you still get 1 room to yourself and them the other room to share? You would then have the advantage of having that room all to yourself so you should pay half and them a quarter each.

DontEvenThinkAboutIt Sat 26-Jan-13 20:15:27

dayshiftdoris. That's good. smile.

dayshiftdoris Sat 26-Jan-13 20:09:54

(Guessing figures BTW as it was a number of years ago!)

dayshiftdoris Sat 26-Jan-13 20:09:12

No they didn't Dont

Because I approached THEM with the suggestion... for me to hire a caravan with Haven would cost £450 for a basic 2 bed and the 3 bed was £20 extra that week.

They paid for the food actually but I didnt mention that as we are taking about accomodation and we made our own way there...

I saved over £200 with my friends coming...

SweetSeraphim Sat 26-Jan-13 20:00:33

Well done OP for realising that YWBU and sorting it out. It took a while... grin but you got there in the end!

DontEvenThinkAboutIt Sat 26-Jan-13 19:49:44

dayshiftdoris I think your pals pulled a fast one!

dayshiftdoris Sat 26-Jan-13 19:43:17


I went on holiday with friends to Haven and shared the costs... In total there was 3 adults and 4 kids.

I paid half and they paid half... even though 'they' were husband & wife + 3 kids and I was one adult, one child...

I figured I had saved £200 and had company, which i am lacking on holiday as a single parent and finding people who are willing share with us despite all the particularities my son has is worth it.

I didn't even have a room!! I slept on the pull out bed!! My son had a spare bed with one of the other children.

By your working out I should have gone on holiday for nothing as actually it cost them nothing to have us there...

You are wrong and actually very lucky OP... I wish I could find someone to go on holiday with this year.

HoratiaWinwood Sat 26-Jan-13 19:42:19

I suspect it would be fairer to smoke the nappies.


Kalisi Sat 26-Jan-13 19:34:42

Yes, If there are 4 of you and A,B and C are the only ones that smoke you divide the cost of the nappies by 4, then you deduct the answer from D's final bill for groceries at the end

Ofcourse it can become complicated if you all have different tastes and it may work out easier to just split the final bill evenly but Cigarettes are bloody expensive so the one not smoking is likely to come off worse if split evenly.

curryeater Sat 26-Jan-13 19:28:11

Horatia, yes I do.

part c. If several adults are self-catering and they all smoke but one, (or all but one have a baby) should fags (nappies) still be deducted from the total before dividing by x (and then fags / nappies be divided by y, where y= x-1)?

MrsMeeple Sat 26-Jan-13 19:24:35

I've ploughed through the whole thread, and well done OP for being able to step back from your obviously strong convictions in the face of so many opposing opinions. I don't think your child should freeload on your friends, but maybe it is fair that you compromise together on a slightly lower share, as she is only a child.

Does it help if you think about it like this:

A~ A holiday costs the same for 3 or 4 people.
B~ If three adults go, they will act in a certain way, and have 1/3 of the space, 1/3 of the decision making power over what happens in the time shared.
C~ But there are four going.
D~ if the fourth person is a baby, the three adults will probably act in more or less the same way they did without the baby (any inconvenience falling mainly on the parents- provided there's no screaming all night etc).
E~ if the fourth person is a small child, say a five year old, that will have an impact on the behaviour and actions of the three adults present. They might modify their language. They will have to take her desires into consideration (eg "I want to sit there", or "I want the last bagel for breakfast", or "I want to watch my TV show now"). They will be expected to lower their volume after she's asleep. It will have an impact on their experience.
F~ if the fourth person is an adult, the four will each have 1/4 of the shared space, 1/4 of the decision making power, etc.

Can you see the difference between B and E? Because that's what I think is relevant here. Not rooms, or beds or whatever.

Then that there are two rooms, two twin beds, one double bed, three adults and one child to share those arrangements might be something that you as a group decide to take into consideration in your cost splitting. But unless there was a serious advantage to one part of the accommodation over another, I wouldn't be changing the share I expected someone to pay based on "you get 1/2 a double bed, while I get a twin bed". You work out what best suits the dynamics of the group relative to the accommodation available. In your case, I think it would work well for you and you DD to either have a twin bed each or share the double, so since you're friends are helping you to afford a holiday you otherwise couldn't, and agreeing to share with your DD, it would be nice if you let them pick which beds they want.

Good luck sorting it all out so everyone's happy. Would be a shame if your holiday is uncomfortable because of an earlier difference of opinion about cost sharing.

DamnBamboo Sat 26-Jan-13 19:23:12

At what age OP, do you think you should paying for your DD to go on holidays? Hypothetically speaking, assuming this couple actually want to go away with you again, when do you think your DD should incur cost?

Aged 10, 15? What?

EuphemiaLennox Sat 26-Jan-13 19:18:52

OP if I was your friends I would be very impressed with your gracious acceptance of having been wrong and offering to pay.

Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic, its unusual for people to graciously retreat I find, and impressive when they do.

Good on you.

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