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To have let him off the hook

(106 Posts)
badbelinda Sat 26-Jan-13 14:15:46

Just finished lunch and everyone now skulking in different rooms not talking to each other. Our kids (DS 8 and DD 9) are pretty good eaters, will try anything and not much they genuinely don't like but DS has always hated mushrooms. I had the bright idea that if we had cream of mushroom soup he might like the flavour without having the texture. DH duly made this for lunch as I was on chauffeur duty for all the Sat am activities. DS ate a bit with his bread but didn't like it much. DH told him to finish the bowl (not huge) and I said he should eat at least another 3 spoonfuls. He was struggling then gagged on his food. DH said he spat it out and it was deliberate but I'm pretty sure it was genuine (scarlet face, tears in eyes etc). DH told him he still had to eat his spoonfuls (while DS now sobbing) and I said he should be allowed to stop and thought DH being too hard on him. Lunch disintegrated and everyone upset now. DH thinks I undermined him and I can understand that but I think forcing a child to eat something when they're actually gagging on it is pretty cruel and has potential to give them issues with food in the future. DH pretty tired due to work issues at the moment and I think a bit more short-fused than usual but AIBU to contradict him about this in front of the children and is it likely to breed fussiness?

diddl Sat 26-Jan-13 16:24:18

Oh & I hope he isn´t thinking that everyone skulking is his fault because he didn´t like mushroom soup.

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 16:26:10

He gave it a go and ended up gagging, crying, spitting/puking it out, and red in the face. And pressured into eating even more. And seeing his family fall out over it.

Lesson learned? Never try anything new again.

DoctorAnge Sat 26-Jan-13 16:33:33

That is so awful OP.

What on earth did you think you would gain by force feeding the poor young boy and bullying him to eat a food he doesn't like confused sad

cluelesscleaner Sat 26-Jan-13 16:37:06


Obviously your son will now be scarred for life and you need to leave this abusive bully of a dh pronto!

Only on mumsnet..!

QuickLookBusy Sat 26-Jan-13 16:37:15

I think you need to talk calmly with your H.

Point out that while you all appreciate he made the soup, DS hates mushrooms but tried them. Therefore when he hated the soup he should not have insisted he finished the bowl.

Also that DS will NEVER willingly try anything new again, if he feels he can't say "I don't like that" without a major argument ensuing/being forced to eat it.

You should both then talk to DS and tell him this won't happen ago and that it was great that he tried the bloody soup.

DoctorAnge Sat 26-Jan-13 16:39:04

And three spoon rule of a food you DON'T LIKE is a load of shit.

Nanny0gg Sat 26-Jan-13 16:41:54

What doesn't your H like?
Cook it for him for tomorrow's lunch and make sure there's nothing else available.
I was made to eat things that made me gag.
Guess what? I still don't like them.

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 16:42:13

When did family lunch become a Bush Tucker Trial?

Anyone should be allowed to say, 'No thank you.'

frustratedworkingmum Sat 26-Jan-13 16:43:15

who said she should leave the bastard? But it IS abusive IMO. They were both as bad as each other for even asking him to try the bloody soup. I doubt that he will be scarred for life but he may grow with issues around food if this sort of thing is a regular occurance.

Whathaveiforgottentoday Sat 26-Jan-13 16:44:23

Yanbu and your DH is. He tried it and said he didn't like it. As you said, he's not a picky eater so he obviously doesn't like mushrooms. Your DH was wrong to force him to continue eating the soup.

ArtVandelay Sat 26-Jan-13 16:45:05

Unless your DH is a mushroom farmer and his stressful work issues are falling consumer demand for mushrooms? smile Sorry...

Callmedoe Sat 26-Jan-13 16:45:50

Calm down, calm down. It really is all getting a bit dramatic. It certainly isn't abuse and there is no good reason to be kicking anyone out of any doors. What are you having for tea Original Poster, may I suggest fish and chips from the chippie and a Victoria Sandwich.

TheSecondComing Sat 26-Jan-13 16:50:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Sat 26-Jan-13 16:51:44

Nobody has said LTB. Fgs, some posters see stuff that isn't actually there.

McNewPants2013 Sat 26-Jan-13 16:57:45

It could of been handled better, but all the fuss over a bowl of soup.

AllThatGlistens Sat 26-Jan-13 17:02:19

Then you need to be having more than a 'hard word' with your DH. Stories like this sicken me, I'm all for encouraging children to eat a huge variety of food, but that is cruel.

Perhaps your DH needs to remember his children are entitled to their own likes and dislikes too.

Saddened to read that some people think this is an acceptable way to parent a child sad

AnyFucker Sat 26-Jan-13 17:04:26

....Or bin it off with the caveat that "worse things will happen to them"

BendyBusBuggy Sat 26-Jan-13 17:11:29

My mum made me eat cherry pie once... I told her i don't like it, she said eat one spoon full, and i was sick (in bathroom, not in bowl). I can still remember it, but it certainly hasn't scarred me, i love food, i love my mum, and i agree with previous posters: it's only a bowl of soup. I guess OP and her DH will remember this as not one of their best parenting moments, but i would guess everyone will get over it.

NotADragonOfSoup Sat 26-Jan-13 17:11:30

frustratedworkingmum you seem to be ignoring the fact that her DS agreed to try to try the soup because it could be that it was the texture rather than the flavour he didn't like.


BendyBusBuggy Sat 26-Jan-13 17:12:54

Oh, not in that order smile

LineRunner Sat 26-Jan-13 17:28:09

He agreed to try it.

He hated it.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sat 26-Jan-13 17:30:50

exactly what is the virtue in making a child eat mushrooms?

personally, i like mushrooms. but i have no problem with people who don't.

however, my daughter will be along in a minute, talking about egg on toast and social services...

Callmedoe Sat 26-Jan-13 17:40:58

where is Belinda, I hope shes down the chippie and not being force-fed sausage rolls by her Dear Husband or children

Moominsarescary Sat 26-Jan-13 17:58:58

I think you were both unreasonable. The chances were he wouldn't like it, you should have just given him some of yours to try.

Callmedoe Sat 26-Jan-13 18:00:26

Hi Moomin, fancy seeing you here, what do you think to my Chippie suggestion?

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