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to buy my son a valentine card so that he definitely gets one?

(101 Posts)
Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 21:48:26

Can't decide if it is a good idea or not. On the one hand I want him to feel good about himself and popular (and know he would be happy to receive one and to be sble to say he got one when his friends were discussing it) but on the other hand I know it's a lie and he would be devastated if he found out so I would
tell no one, not even my partner (his dad).

AppleOgies Fri 25-Jan-13 22:03:07

My dad sent me a Valentines every year. I really knew it was him, but I liked it all the same.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 25-Jan-13 22:04:59

My DS is 13yo and has never mentioned Valentines Day.
I think he'd be blush to get a card from anyone.
Mortified if he got one from me

MrsAFlowerpot Fri 25-Jan-13 22:06:49

No no no no no

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:07:06

They are all at an age that they are starting to be aware of who fancies who and recently all had partners for their school dance. Think will just never mention valentines day and hope it goes unnoticed grin

marriedinwhite Fri 25-Jan-13 22:11:19

I have always sent the DC a valentines card.

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:14:27

Married but do they know it's from you? I'd be doing it so that he thought it was from a girl in his class blush

giveitago Fri 25-Jan-13 22:15:08

Ow I'm in middle age - my dps always got me valentines. They were the only ones I recieved back then (normal girl and went to an all girl's school). Not remotely creepy at all.

My ds is sending my dmother one this year. He's 6.Again, not remotely creepy at all.

Unless you're a creep yourself and of course then you'd find it creepy.

Annunziata Fri 25-Jan-13 22:15:49

Noooo don't send it from 'a girl'! I sign mine from mamma.

2rebecca Fri 25-Jan-13 22:18:00

No. Kids soon learn that hardly anyone gets valentines cards when you are at school. If I had got a mystery one and later discovered it was from my parents I would have been really disappointed, and quite embarrassed that they thought me so ugly and desperate that they had to buy me a card to make me happy because they knew no-one else would and thought I couldn't cope if I didn't get one.

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:18:19

I'm not a creep grin. Would just have signed it 'guess who' or something written with my left hand!

Mutt Fri 25-Jan-13 22:19:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriedinwhite Fri 25-Jan-13 22:20:02

Well I don't sign it from mummy but of course they know it's from me and although I pretend it's not they know it is; but they have had a card since before they were old enough to open it.

CecyHall Fri 25-Jan-13 22:20:02

My mum sent me one once from a mystery person as she knew I wouldn't get one, I know she meant well but I felt a bazillion times worse that I was so unloved even my mum had reached the depths of pitying me.

Not that I was overly dramatic as a youngster though!

CecyHall Fri 25-Jan-13 22:20:53

Cross post with rebecca, that's exactly how I felt

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:21:47

Rebecca but he will never find out. I will swear myself to secrecy, hide all evidence etc and no one will ever know grin

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:23:30

Married your system sounds cute - a bit like the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. No one really believes it but it's fun!

Andthentherewere5 Fri 25-Jan-13 22:24:04

Well my Dad used to do it for me! I went to an all girls boarding school and Valentines was a bit of a nightmare. I didnt know any boys I wasnt related to so cards were never going to arrive! One year I mentioned in passing how it was not a great day at school and lo and behold the next year I had one sent from some island off the scottish coast, the next year was from the channel island and so it continued! It just kept the complete bitches I was unfortunate enough to spend 6 years with, off my back!
My Dad wasnt very openly affectionate, although I knew I was loved IYSWIM, and it is one of the small things he did that still make me smile now he isnt here.

Mutt Fri 25-Jan-13 22:24:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Fri 25-Jan-13 22:25:10

There'll be enough time for him to buy into the commercial crap when he's ready to.

Really you don't need to encourage it even if he never found out.

Anyway, don't kids send them to themselves anymore and pretend to their mates it was from an admirer?

<< Tuts >> Kids have no imagination anymore.

GingersarealwaysToms Fri 25-Jan-13 22:25:44

grin 2rebecca. Nospring you just don't know. Stuff like this has a funny way of coming back to bite you on the arse. He's so young, he's got all the time in the world to have a fan club. Listen to what people are saying, please.

Zappo Fri 25-Jan-13 22:29:05

My mum always sent me one when I was younger. I think I always guessed it was her.

But Valentine cards can backfire (think Farmer Boldwood in Far from the Madding Crowd)

OddBoots Fri 25-Jan-13 22:29:06

Different families have different traditions, if Valentines is a big deal for your household and you don't think it would upset him then send one. In this house it's regarded as commercial nonsense so even dh and I don't bother with cards.

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:29:43

Wires that made me laugh!

I am listening - I'm not going to do it! Honest!

I have taken on board all the opinions and the majority are saying Nooo don't do it so I won't.

My first foray into AIBU has been very positive grin

Nospringflower Fri 25-Jan-13 22:30:03

Oops meant to be Worra

nametakenagain Fri 25-Jan-13 22:32:52

I sent a card to a friend when we were 18 because he'd never had a gf and was very sad about the fact. He was so excited to get the card and keen to figure out who sent it, that I worried that I shouldn't have done it. He believed it was genuine. And he talked about it at intervals for years.

We lost touch and I havent seen him for 15 years but I have never told any of our friends that I sent it. To this day I hope it makes him smile to remember. I didn't do it to have a giggle, I did it to make him happy. I'd like to think it did.

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