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to tell the receptionists at work to FUCK OFF?

(31 Posts)
PrettyFlyForAWifi Thu 24-Jan-13 11:22:58

Give me some perspective please - I think I might be being precious but this is driving me mad. 8 months ago, I lost my baby daughter at 23+ weeks. And now it feels like everyone around me but predominantly the reception team at work is expecting me to be pregnant again. I am getting so annoyed with the constant scrutiny - I only have to wear a baggy top, say 'no thanks' to a glass of wine on a night out or look a bit knackered and they all assume I'm upduffed. And yesterday when I threw up at work (norovirus!!!) the entire reception team went into a gossip frenzy.
It's just so intrusive. What I want to say is: 'No, FUCK OFF I'm not pregnant, I'm not planning to become pregnant either and what makes you think I want another baby anyway - I want the one I lost, not a replacement!' but that's too personal to share with work colleagues and, because I'm quite a private person I think it might cause an atmosphere/more gossip...
So, am I being precious? I'm sure they just want the best for me and are making the assumption that a new pregnancy heals the loss of a lost one (and maybe it does for some but I have a long and complex pregnancy history that I haven't told anyone about at work so it's not quite as simple as it might be for me) but I find the presumption that I will 'replace' my baby hurtful/thoughtless and the constant scrutiny intrusive.

Moominsarescary Fri 25-Jan-13 08:19:20

Your boss sounds like a twat! I lost a son at 20 weeks, people can be incredibly insensitive from the it was probably for the best comments hmm to the are you going to have any more ones.

Sorry for your loss

justmatureenough2bdad Fri 25-Jan-13 08:24:42

so sorry for your loss...

i think everyone is different, but ultimately if you aren't comfortable, you need to do something about it.

DW and I lost a baby girl during labour 18 months ago and when i came back to work, everyone was so well meaningly lovely, but it did strat to become a bit much everyone tiptoeing round the elephant in the room, and it got to the point when i really need to talk about it.

It came to a head when a colleague broke down on me, saying that she was finding it really hard to deal with all the people asking her how i was and she didn't know what to say..... I was like .....ummm...poor you going through all the it happened, we had just found out we were 12 weeks pregnant again, so i told her that (didn't really want to) to shut her up

but when i told others in the office, they were all so nice and supportive, and my manager was really good and ok with me going to weekly checkup appts...

fromparistoberlin Fri 25-Jan-13 11:14:23

yoy do NOT have to suck it up

gawd they sounds like a team of witches, someone with cancer was uppity? sweet jesus

you boss is a cxxt, sorry but she is!

and better maybe to tell them ONCE, cry and then never have to handle it again

anyway I am being bossy, but you really should NOT have to suck it up, and there are ways to communicate this to them they are effective and will get em off your back


boredSAHMof4 Fri 25-Jan-13 11:51:19

well that's human nature I'm afraid.To be interested in one another

GladbagsGold Fri 25-Jan-13 12:00:32

So sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

Your boss, and receptionists, sound horrendous, is there anyone else you can talk to at work about this? I really feel for you.

scarletforya Fri 25-Jan-13 12:13:46


So sad about your precious little daughter, sorry for your loss.


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