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To think she's stealing from me? WWYD?

(105 Posts)
SlowLooseChippings Thu 24-Jan-13 10:40:54

I have a cleaner for 5 hours a week. She's a widowed older lady from an East European country, who's very pleasant and whose English has been improving tremendously in the 18 months she is here. And she is very fond of my 16 week old son. I've been considering asking her to do some babysitting outside of normal duties soon, as soon as I am ready to go out without him.

I went to get my boy a passport yesterday, but forgot some vital information so came home with the fee for the passport fast track still in my wallet (£87). I'd paid for a taxi out of that, about £13, with one of the twenties and put the change in a small bowl we keep by the door. I didn't buy anything else yesterday evening or go to the shop, just got home and made dinner for DH. I left my handbag in the hall last night and was feeding DS in my bed when she arrived at 8am. I went to pay her at 1pm and pulled out £40 from my wallet.. and that was all there was. The fiver was gone from the bowl and only the pound coins in it. I was a bit taken aback that there was so little there but I have been a bit thoughtless with money lately, losing track of things since DS was born, so didn't say anything at the time, wondering what the hell I could have spent it on. Also thought there was a good chance that DH might have taken the change from the bowl as he left before DS and I got up.

But it's the second time that I've noticed I've had much less in my wallet to pay her with than I thought I had. (After the first time i went through a phase of always bringing my bag into the bedroom at night, but habits slipped..) I raised it with DH when he got home and he said that he saw the change from the taxi in the bowl last night, but he didn't take it. So I think she may have taken it, but I can't prove anything. And I'm gutted.. She was the best cleaner I've had from this agency, very thorough, polite etc and great with my son. If I confront her and I've got it wrong, then I'm no further forward and I've insulted her. If I ring the agency then she's got a bad name. I'm sure very few other people are home but shut out of sight when she arrives with their purses lying around, but this is my home and I'm here with the baby and that won't change. I don't want to have to be extra-vigilant inside my own home.

What would you do?

ariane5 Fri 25-Jan-13 11:16:51

I think it is sacking time-but I've never sacked anybody before.I'd phone agency but I want to get key back first!

Anyway I feel like I've hijacked thread a bit so now that I've seen sense I will let you get back to OP issue with her cleaner smile

cumfy Fri 25-Jan-13 11:44:11

Did you give the taxi 1x£20 or 2x£10 ?

If you gave 2x£20 thinking 2x£10 might possibly explain things.

Wouldn't trust "a trap"; you might get a "false negative"; she won't be stealing at every opportunity.

I would let her go and tell her the truth:
You suspect she stole some money (be very specific and calm)
Note her response.


"I really want to talk to you about something"
"Come and sit down."
<Big pause>

Note response and then talk about rings on the bath or you suspect DH is cheating had she noticed anything ........
Again see if she's relieved.

I think your suspicions are correct BTW, and you sound a little in denial.sad

DontmindifIdo Fri 25-Jan-13 12:31:01

Ariane - you can lie to the agency and her that your financial situation has changed and you can't afford a cleaner anymore. Agencies will be hearing that a lot these days.

Leave it a few weeks and use a different agency.

NaturalBaby Fri 25-Jan-13 12:40:17

This whole thread is part of the reason why I go out when my cleaner comes, taking my wallet and not leaving any cash or valuables lying around.

gotthemoononastick Fri 25-Jan-13 12:43:07

Slowloose...go with your instinct.You know really....Not good to have your home security breached.Things will never be easy again and quite frankly you have only noticed money missing.Just think sugar,butter cheese meat!!!

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