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To think fuck right off?!

(117 Posts)
Aspiemum2 Wed 23-Jan-13 16:05:20

So yet again ds1 comes home with homework and instructions to sit down and do it with an adult. It's a decent amount, about an hours worth.
He's 12

I am up to my eyeballs with other stuff to do and pig sick of this from schools. When I was at school we were always told that they wanted our own work and not to get help so they could see what we'd taken in.

I'm quite sure this has come up on MN before but I wanted a rant so

Aibu to think I've been to school, done plenty of homework in my time. I do not appreciate being told to do more when I left 20 odd years ago!! angryangryangryangry

BoundandRebound Wed 23-Jan-13 22:48:45

It is abysmal for schools and I can only imagine inexperienced teachers to set homework for parents

Particularly at secondary level

I am appalled that teachers can say this is appropriate

It is not

Our jobs as parents is to support and help children achieve not do projects with them dictated by naive teachers

My qualifications are complete, do not set me homework.

Makes me angry

HollaAtMeBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 22:55:44

Aw, I wish I had a mini-Sheldon in my house smile in that case you are definitely not being unreasonable about the homework!

Aspiemum2 Wed 23-Jan-13 23:02:15

No you don't, really. If there's one thing I hate more than him correcting me it's the self satisfied smug look he gets when I realise he's right.
He's gorgeous and funny but a bit too clever sometimes, still what he has in brains he utterly lacks in tact and social skills!

skullcandy Wed 23-Jan-13 23:23:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArbiter Thu 24-Jan-13 06:51:42

Exactly how is this enforceable?

Should DD ever have homework of this kind, I'll make myself available for help/checking work, but if she doesn't need my help she has every right to work independently.

Cacks81 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:08:54

I am new to MN and quickly learning that involving myself in threads is not a good idea. I am all for different opinions, and as I've said before, your opinions have given me, an experienced and certainly not naive teacher and head of department, food for thought.

However, the aggressive tone and responses are not what I expected.

I love my job, wouldn't do anything else, but it's hard. No teacher wants anything than to do the best by their students. This barrage of abuse on here simply reminds me of the constant negative view of education from the press, the government and parents. My day is stressful enough, so I won't be involving myself in these discussions again.

This is not because of your different views. I welcome those.

This is because of the level of negativity and perceived aggressiveness.

If you feel so strongly, do something about it for you DC. I thought an opinion might help people see it from the other side.

Good luck with it all.

Aspiemum2 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:59:51

Hey cacks, I appreciated your input as it gave me a different perspective on it. I'm sorry if my tone was more abrupt than I thought, no offence was intended though - I was just ranting

Pinot Thu 24-Jan-13 08:20:52

Cacks you need to toughen up. If parents are fed up, they're going to say so - it's not directed at you, so why take it so personally?

I hope you feed this information back to your school and it gives food for thought.

My DS2 has today taken in "his" project of making a castle. A FUCKING CASTLE. He is y7 and not in the least artistic. Assessed for ADD in fact - so DH made the castle and I finished it off. Total time = over 4 hours. With DS sitting with us getting distracted and whinging.

Why on earth would anyone think that task is either appropriate or will enhance his learning???

But we HAD to do it as otherwise he'll stick out like a sore thumb. It's not enough to say "Well don't do it" as then you're making an example of your child.

And yes, I have said all this to School. Well actually, I said it last year as well, when DS1 had the same fucking project.

No one listens. Teachers do not listen.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Thu 24-Jan-13 08:32:26

Cacks, sorry but I really don't think there has been a barrage of abuse here at all, and I am very supportive of my dcs schools and teachers. I'm just anti homework, not anti teacher, there is a difference.

Hullygully Thu 24-Jan-13 08:34:44

Yes, come on Cacks! Blimey! That's nothing...

Also, as the lovely Pinot says, it's not personal, parents have The Rage about a lot of stuff to do with school.

Totes agree about those mad projects, except in our case dh loves making stuff so he and the dc used to have a lovely time making extraordinary models. The first time the dc took one in was hilarious, a singing dancing lighting up Project MrHully and no pretence of owt else.

Absolutely pointless other than that MrHully enjoyed himself.

DeepRedBetty Thu 24-Jan-13 08:50:32

Hello Cacks

I've enjoyed reading this thread this morning and found a lot of useful input, not least from you. If you're new-ish to MN you may not yet realise that anything in Am I Being Unreasonable is liable to get the odd frankly demented ranty post. Ignore them, don't take it personally grin

Hullygully Thu 24-Jan-13 08:54:35

Hey Deep Red Betty!

extracrunchy Thu 24-Jan-13 09:01:46

I would want to help. I've got loads to do too, but supporting my child's education is very important to me.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 24-Jan-13 11:54:20

Cacks surely you have a thicker skin that than? How else do you manage with your Y11s! wink

No-one has had a go at your personally, but I can understand that you'd be upset to discover that your thinking is so at odds with the majority of people on this thread.

I wouldn't say that people have been aggressive, firm in their opinions, yes. Which people should be in relation to their own children tbh.

People have really busy lives, and trying to find an hour every evening to sit with your DC and do homework is beyond most people on a regular basis.
Parents work, have long commutes, have other children to look after and possibly other caring commitments to family members. By the time you take all that into account, plus any after school activities and weekend commitments - there isn't always time.

Plus - and this is a real bugbear of mine - there does seem to be an assumption from a lot of schools that parents do nothing of value with their kids unless directed by school.
I will be really resisting huge half-term projects when mine are older, because those are times to rest and recharge, read books that aren't directed by school, visit family, go on holiday or for days out, and spend 3 days building a Lego project in your bedroom with your siblings. All of which are valid learning experiences.

Cacks81 Thu 24-Jan-13 12:26:56

Trust me, my skin is thick. You should see the class I just took. It's not that I've taken this personally at all, but I wanted to move away as it was turning into a teacher bashing from some. I get enough if that in my own life and don't need it here, when I thought I might have helped.

There is no denying that the language some have used on here is aggressive.

And I have taken everything on board for my own department, most certainly.

But I found myself getting quite worked up, which can't be a good thing, so I wanted to step away. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive and taking what some have said too personally.

Just surprised me.

Anyway, my issue, clearly.

All the best.

extracrunchy Thu 24-Jan-13 18:39:22

I'm with you Cacks wink

bigkidsdidit Thu 24-Jan-13 19:12:01

I agree with Alibaba

My parents were like Hully and it was wonderful. Lots o discussions over gin (I had a gin from age 14-15 shock ) and given books to read, discussion taken past what I was doing at school.

Both my parents were lecturers and now I am. I hope to be like this with DS.

HOWEVER, this does further entrench the privilege of having academic parents. It is such a massive advantage already - parents like us will do this anyway. Why set homework that depends on it?

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