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To think fuck right off?!

(117 Posts)
Aspiemum2 Wed 23-Jan-13 16:05:20

So yet again ds1 comes home with homework and instructions to sit down and do it with an adult. It's a decent amount, about an hours worth.
He's 12

I am up to my eyeballs with other stuff to do and pig sick of this from schools. When I was at school we were always told that they wanted our own work and not to get help so they could see what we'd taken in.

I'm quite sure this has come up on MN before but I wanted a rant so

Aibu to think I've been to school, done plenty of homework in my time. I do not appreciate being told to do more when I left 20 odd years ago!! angryangryangryangry

Foggles Wed 23-Jan-13 17:58:09

I would expect to help primary school children.

By the time the DC hit secondary school, they were cleverer than me.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 17:58:22

I always find it interesting that working with your dc (leaving Pag's valid point aside for the mo) is considered "spoon feeding" and doing it for them.

It's no different to what teacher's do, sharing information and facilitating their learning. Discussing to develop thought and exploring theories and ideas. Why might the poet have chosen that image? Why might the historian have drawn that conclusion? etc etc.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 17:58:36

fuck. teachers with no apostrophe

ClippedPhoenix Wed 23-Jan-13 17:58:38

"bonding" over homework? I'm really glad for you hully but it's never happened in my house or anyone elses that I know of grin

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 17:59:35

I always thought we were odd...

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:00:31

We had a lovely evening the other day, one of the dc was studying the war poet and the other one joined in and we had a really good chat about it all with biscuits and wine (not for them). It was great.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:00:48


Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:02:05

Perhaps I need to get out more

I've driven everyone away screaming grin

TheFallenMadonna Wed 23-Jan-13 18:02:06

I get involved. I am interested in what they're doing, especially DS who is in year 7, and is now on familiar ground for me.

But I wouldn't set a homework that involved a parent because some parents don't have the confidence in their own schooling to help, some are very anti school, a fairly high proportion don't speak English, and some, like the OP, have other demands on their time.

I think just being available is useful in itself though, and I often tell my students to bore their family and friends by explaining a topic to them in order to check their own understanding.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 23-Jan-13 18:03:30

You are blessed Hully really you are grin Not sure how you can have an evening during the day though?

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Wed 23-Jan-13 18:03:32

Hully I agree working with your child is great and the benefits are great for the child for a number of reasons. But, having school send work home for the parents to do with a child I disagree with, as I said before, too much pressure for some children.


a lot of parents do do their childs homework, I taught in a PS that sent out homework, I got sick of marking and having to give gold stars to the parents, honestly you would not believe!

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:04:21

I'm dead clever me, Phoenix grin

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 18:05:00

Perhaps I should have tried with more biscuits and wine?

In fairness DS1 did start using me for his English once he started a level. I would read his essays and critiques. I was pretty good at that so I was happy to help. It did lead to us talking about literature, poetry and then the arts. We go to stuff together now - art galleries etc. he recommends books and things.

Perhaps I should be less nervous and be a bit more involved with DD. I can see the advantages if parents are able.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:05:50

I know dreams, I know it's not for everyone and I know it isn't fair on those without parents able/willing to help.

I just enjoy it, I love talking about all that stuff even if they don't want me too

Aspiemum2 Wed 23-Jan-13 18:06:02

Loving the different perspectives, I've not disappeared I'm just doing my bloody homework I'll be back later!

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:06:07


dear lord

ClippedPhoenix Wed 23-Jan-13 18:06:42

pokes self in eyeball as finds poems a load of airy fairy tripe, unless of the dirty rhymning sort of course grin

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:07:47

Maybe that's it Phoenix, I do genuinely enjoy it, especially as they get older.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:08:12

Mind you, I must say the war poets really aren't airy fairy...

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Wed 23-Jan-13 18:11:05

I use to be very enthusiastic at helping DD with her art and history homework, she asked me to stop sad

AllOutOfIdeas Wed 23-Jan-13 18:11:09

But isn't finding things out for themselves, whether on line, at the library, from text books etc helping them as well? I know my boss wouldn't sit and go through a project with me- i would be expected to do it myself.
Surely independent learning is a life skill they need to develop?

Don't get me wrong, i wouldn't banish my dc to their rooms to do it and never help, just that they need to try themselves to process it and not have me confusing them with different methods than the way their teachers do.

What about parents who try but aren't very academic? The ones that try and do the work with their dc but don't actually know what they are helping with? If the work isn't marked how does the teacher know that the child understands the work?

ClippedPhoenix Wed 23-Jan-13 18:13:15

Give me a good story any day rather than a poem, i find poets to be rather self centred and egotistical hiding under some sort of arty farty licence. I must say i thoroughly enjoy spending time with my teen too, we laugh a lot together, just not over homework.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:15:36

Allout, it's not just about finding things out, it's teaching them how to think, how to develop theories and follow lines of argument, how to structure essays and responses, how to explore why they think what they think...

Pinot Wed 23-Jan-13 18:16:03

I get more excited than the kids do when they have a weekend free of homework blush

True fact ^

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 18:16:24

Read Wilfred Owen and see what you think.I was demned impressed.

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