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AIBU to think there is a problem on MN discussing anything at all to do with income

(335 Posts)
amillionyears Wed 23-Jan-13 10:07:26

There are a lot of threads started nowadays, that are causing offence to people who are on low incomes.

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

I dont know if the answer is for those with more income, to not talk much about anything, or those with less income to let them talk about what they want to talk about.

I dont know the answer to all of this.
I would like both sets, or indeed anyone in the middle, to be in harmony on MN!

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 11:14:53

I know the thread you mean Silver.

It wasn't quite as you recall because I wasn't moaning. I was asking where I could possibly get them re soled.
But yes, it did get ugly.
But I always knew that was my fault because I was showing off. I really was. I could have got that advice with trumpeting in gushy terms.
And the vast majority of people were stil lovely with just a few getting determinedly arsy.

TwoFacedCows Wed 23-Jan-13 11:16:07

I dont see why the people on higher wages can not post what they want and visa versa.
I wouldnt post on a thread about someone on low income bragging about how rich I am blah blah blah to try and make someone feel bad.
I would not expect some one of a low wage to try and make someone who has posted a thread about their high wage feel bad.

people are on here to get/offer advise, not slag others of because they can not afford to heat their home!

ethelb Wed 23-Jan-13 11:16:09

@hully on another thread I have stated that to earn higher wages you need to pay more for childcare costs and that has been slated.

Because don't you realise, we all make our 'choices'. hmm

TotallyBS Wed 23-Jan-13 11:16:41

blue - that's £50 once a year. Averages out at about £1 a week. You probably find that your average 'poor' person spends more than that on fags and booze.

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 11:18:57

Pretty 9k a year is pretty much 1k a month if you factor in everything else and the fact a lot of fees are more.Nobody pisses up 1k a month these days,sorry they just don't.

ethelb Wed 23-Jan-13 11:19:23

@wannabe i think it was you on the other thread who claimed that childcare costs weren't more. But that is the big one.

You would probably be restricted to a high housing cost area ie London.

I could live on two thirds my salary in a different part of the country and have teh same standard of living.

Cooking, cleaning is harder to fit in when you work longer hours so less time to cook from scratch and save money there(though this can be a problem with low income jobs too, I get that).

silverfrog Wed 23-Jan-13 11:20:45

I don't remember any trumpety gushing (but then I am clearly crap at remembering threads accurately anyway grin). It seemed that you mentioned the brand, and wanted advice, and it all turned into a car crash of a thread.

It stuck in my mind because it did seem to me to be a "mention anything to do with money in a less than grateful way and you will be jumped on" situation.

I don't know.

Tis true that there is a lot of advice out there if threads are seen to be phrased the right way. I've benefitted from a lot of it, especially in travel planning terms.

Maybe it is to do with where threads are posted? Ie threads in longhaul won't attract the "how can y

amicissimma Wed 23-Jan-13 11:20:58

I enjoy Mumsnet because I find it interesting to hear from people who have different lives from mine.

Sometimes I find people comlaining about their situation but ignoring lots of good suggestions on how to improve it, or coming up with more and more ridiculous reasons why they can't do what is suggested. Sometimes they seem totally unaware of how their choices have left them in their situation and are upset that they were 'allowed' to get that way. I know that we all make mistakes but I do find it frustrating when they just keep complaining at how much better off other people are.

To look at just one example, is it worse for a musical family with limited funds (let's say they spend £5 per month on a simple PAYG mobile) to find it hard to get the piano, which can provide hours of entertainment and pleasure, tuned, than for someone to find it a stretch to pay the heating bills when they pay £35 per month for the latest smartphone?

Mosman Wed 23-Jan-13 11:21:01

What difficulties come with earning a large amount of money?

The fact that everyone expects you to dress a certain way, more women than men, DH can wear the same suit for a year, but I am expected to look polished that costs money, I have bought shampoo and conditioner and gone without food before now.
The fact that everyone cuts their cloth, Danielle Lloyds bloke said he had less worries on £100 a week as an apprentice than he has now on considerably more with a wife and kids. Well yes.

bluecarrot Wed 23-Jan-13 11:21:26

I thought piano tuning one was tongue in cheek? Was it a thread about a thread?!

Hully- the basic premise is that you seemingly aren't allowed to complain about money if you have an above average income.

Oddly, some seem to enter into an "I'm poorer than you" competition hmm

HelpOneAnother Wed 23-Jan-13 11:21:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotallyBS Wed 23-Jan-13 11:21:46

My DCs are at secondary school now but before that the cost of childcare plus £4k pa commuting expenses reduced my 'high' salary to the same level as some PA singleton who had a 30min bus trip to the office

So no, a high salary doesn't by default = wealthy

Dothraki Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:06

Twofaced some people do come on here just to be arsey. I was in arts and crafts recently, and one poster kept bashing the op - she had clearly not read the post properly (although when several people mentioned it she still carried on) so even some where safe you can get flamed for nothing !

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:13

Ok, let's try it another way.

To use amillion's phrasing:

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

What apart from piano tuning, are these things?

LifeofPo Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluecarrot Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:29

Mosman- who expects you to dress a certain way? You mean for work? Socialising?

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:31

Let alone the 3k a month I'd need to send my dc to private school.People don't have that kind of money down the back of the sofa.If you do you are wealthy and if you can't afford it you take your kids out and send them to the local mediocre school like everybody else has to.

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 11:22:47

Is this just boiling down to the notion that high earners should be allowed to feel relatively poor.
And should not be made to feel bad when really poor people get arsy.

I am not trying to be trite. Is that it though. Is that what it boils down too.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:13

Hully- the basic premise is that you seemingly aren't allowed to complain about money if you have an above average income

Um, isn't that just common decency?

Ordinary old sensitivity?

silverfrog Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:16

Grrr phone.

Anyway, agree that there is a lot of good advice given, to everyone, on a wide variety of topics.

But I don't like the pile-on threads, where sometimes only one or two arsey replies can really change the whole tone.

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:17

Re the piano,get an electric one- they don't need tuning.wink

LifeofPo Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:34

The difficulty of finding a good French polisher?

TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 23-Jan-13 11:24:06

The piano tuner thread was entitled something like middle class first world problems wasn't it?
I mean I don't think it was someone weeping that they were so poor they couldn't afford a piano tuner and asking everyone to chip in even though they earn 600k a year.

I didn't read the whole thread but the bit I did read seemed a bit tongue in cheek, lighthearted sort of thing.

Disclaimer-I may be wrong on that, she could have been asking for paypal donations. I didn't RTFT.

threesocksmorgan Wed 23-Jan-13 11:24:12

imo if someone posts that they have <<insert massive>> income and 4 kids,then moans then gets shedloads of sympathy.
yet someone with 4 kids and struggling... is asked why they had so many.
it shows how bad mn is.
perhaps we need a poor people topic

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