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AIBU to think there is a problem on MN discussing anything at all to do with income

(335 Posts)
amillionyears Wed 23-Jan-13 10:07:26

There are a lot of threads started nowadays, that are causing offence to people who are on low incomes.

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

I dont know if the answer is for those with more income, to not talk much about anything, or those with less income to let them talk about what they want to talk about.

I dont know the answer to all of this.
I would like both sets, or indeed anyone in the middle, to be in harmony on MN!


PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 10:55:12

I don't think it's as cut and dried as that.You will get some some in expensive areas who bought years ago,some who had help or others who live in areas where all property is expensive.

TotallyBS Wed 23-Jan-13 10:56:48

To some people living in Eastern Europe, India, Africa etc those of you on low incomes or benefits are living like kings although you obviously don't think it. We have 'free' stuff like education and medicine. Then there is council housing and FSM. And lets not overlook the 'poor' people connecting to MN via their £10-15 a month broadband package.

If people on £60k pa should shut up about trying to make ends meet then maybe some of you should do the same. I mean, you are just being insensitive towards the homeless or people who live in countries where there is no benefits safety net.

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 10:56:55


But with respect that isn't a wealthy problem is it?

The problem is about a lack of money. If you are massively in debt then you arn't wealthy and the problem isn't about wealth.

Startail Wed 23-Jan-13 10:58:22

Surely the point of MN is to discuss things you can't in real life.

If a thread isn't relevant to you or upsets you - don't read it!

Takver Wed 23-Jan-13 11:00:31

"I saw a thread where a woman was saying she couldnt afford the piano tuner."

If it helps I know at least a couple of stoney cold broke people who still get their piano tuned regularly. I imagine they would feed their children first, but I reckon that it would come above a lot of other things for them. If your whole family is very musical & it is really important to you then it's not trivial IYKWIM. (And it is bloody expensive to have a piano tuned!)

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 11:00:50

Also many people can't move as the travel fees would mean zero saving,to move costs £££££££. Things have changed a lot in the last few years food,bills and mortgages have gone up,the lack of empathy for people struggling and stuck is unpleasant.I've read a few posts from people trying to sort themselves out and they've had really nasty replies-not nice.sad

ubik Wed 23-Jan-13 11:01:13

One of the most touching/disturbing threads i have ever read on mumsnet was the 'are you secretly poor?' thread.

And there were many people in absolute financial crisis, on the face of it 'living the dream' in reality unable to sell large house in negative equity, redundancy, recession, yet still keeping up appearances in tattered designer clothing. I was one of them until I was fortunate enough to find a job and DP's business started to lift out of recession.

There was alot of sympathy and good financial advice on that thread.

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 11:01:47

And what Totally said.

sunflowersfollowthesun Wed 23-Jan-13 11:01:54

In re. These people need a reality check. (mentioned upthread, more than once>)
But this is their reality. Is MN for everyone or isn't it?

I think some of the reaction comes in relation to those people who don't see that their lack of disposable income comes from their own spending choices not because they are short of money. People who perhaps don't recognise that large mortgages and school fees will never be in the reach of some posters.

I really think it depends how you post. If you post, I've overspent this month / I'm a bit stretched any good meal ideas - you will get loads of advice irrespective of your monthly income. If, on the other hand, you post I earn £75k a year and its bloody unfair that I am losing my child benefit because I promised the kids a skiing holiday, I can understand why you might get your arse kicked a bit.

bluecarrot Wed 23-Jan-13 11:02:40

There's a girl asking for advice re getting council to hurry up fixing her heating. She was a first time poster iirc, and was on the whole, flamed. The poor woman was distressed and asking for advice and people basically said " stop whinging and get on with it. We were in the sane position and didn't even blink plus we had to pay xyz for it" hmm

Now, what they said was fair enough in a way but it was worded so harshly. Maybe the op didn't know it was a reasonable timeframe. Harsh posters could have said "aww, I've been there, it sucks! Here's what we tried" instead it was full of how dare you be feeling do entitled etc.

I was open mouthed in shock reading through it and felt so sad for that girl.

TotallyBS Wed 23-Jan-13 11:03:16

It cost us about £50 a go to have our piano tuned. Hardly 'bloody expensive' smile

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 11:04:01

Is that it?
The 'I can't afford a piano tuner' is the sort of problem high earners can't talk about?

What advice did she get. Were people horrible.

Isn't this boiling down to people with high incomes yet feel poor don't feel they can post?

PrettyKitty1986 Wed 23-Jan-13 11:04:15

I disagree with whoever stated if you can afford private school you are wealthy What a sweeping generalisation. If you only have one child in private school then you may pay around £9k a year. I know people who piss that amount of money up the wall by going on 2 holidays a year and a day trip every weekend...yet to most people they'd probably be described as comfortable not wealthy. The two families have just made different decisions in what to do with their money.

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 11:05:28

Yy to Chaz.
I think that's it.

ethelb Wed 23-Jan-13 11:06:05

I think the problem is is that the expenses or difficulties that come with earning a large amount of money are instantly dismissed, or there are claims that they are imagined or made up.

I also think, and it saddens me, that there are a large number of people who aren't well off who have convinced themselves that they are the poorest person in the world and therefore refuse to listen to anyone elses opinions on finance. Which is as bad as the I can't live on £60k threads.

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 11:07:33

Ubik. Yes. I remember that thread. It was very distressing.
MN is not real life.
It's strangers being able to say whatever they want to other strangers as its anonymous. Things they would never say out loud.
Some MNers think you should be able to Feed your family on dust and hairspray.
Others think that lobster thermedore is the only thing for weaning kids.
I don't mind that.
What I mind is posters posting threads that they know will cause upset and distress to many on the forum because they think they are being witty or clever.
And not caring.

25catsnameSam Wed 23-Jan-13 11:07:34

Please somebody think of the birds!
the "I earn £250k but I still feel poor" post just showed that even if you have stacks of money you just end up with bigger outgoings, and it doesn't matter if you're on benefits or loaded, some people just can't manage their money.
The piano tuner poster had the grace to say "I know this isn't an essential.." I think it was more a comment on how times are harder on everyone, and she was having to cut out non-essentials. Like the piano tuner.
Startail you are spot on. MN should be a platform for free speech and debate as well as LTB etc.

bluecarrot Wed 23-Jan-13 11:08:03

Ah but £50 could feed a family for a week or more. It's all about perspective!

silverfrog Wed 23-Jan-13 11:09:49

I can see the point the OP is making.

It isn't always possible for posters to come on and have a moan about something that isn't life-threatening, or even vastly important, without (sometimes) a whole host of "well, aren't you lucky that's your only problem" type replies.

Iirc, Pagwatch, you had a thread once having a moan about some shoes yur dh had bought you, which had t lasted as well as they should for the price, and it all got a bit ugly with accusations of stealth boasting, and such. When what you wanted to do was (rightly) moan about something g that was not as it should be. Yes, a real first-world problem. But still an irritation.

Often, the first few replies to a thread set the tone, and t can get band-wagonny.

Takver Wed 23-Jan-13 11:10:16

TotallyBS - I'm sure it was more than that where I used to live & we got it tuned (also housing co-op so not my piano and I can't play so possibly I was less worried by the out-of-tune-ness and more inclined to prioritise other spending from the communal pot grin )

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 11:12:18

So, so far for undiscussable problems we have:

1. Piano tuning.

Any more?

ethelb, genuine question. What difficulties come with earning a large amount of money? Apart from higher tax which is obvious?

notactuallyme Wed 23-Jan-13 11:12:49

pag that's true - i feel that sometimes tho, just the fact of earning a decent amount of money is enough to switch off the sympathy/empathy/advice. Our disposable income is actually minute after debt and mortgage.

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