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To not understand skidmarks (genuine question)

(118 Posts)
neveradullmomentinparadise Tue 22-Jan-13 22:30:14

Seriously, is this a man thing (as it is in my household)? Surely one poos, then wipes until clean, using ridiculous toilet-blocking amounts enough paper to do the job properly. That's it. Am I missing something?

ConfusedPixie Tue 22-Jan-13 23:07:38

Beeny: It was only when I was reading up on Muslim countries that I discovered that most of the Middle East, India and Far East washed their bottoms after a poo (I actually researched it after seeing it referred to somewhere!) I remember thinking that it made so much sense and scouted out some wet wipes grin

VenusRising Tue 22-Jan-13 23:07:56

Bidet, or failing that a jug of water.
Do like the Romans do, get a ceramic scraper, or gomph stick, and wash the remains off with the water.
Or just use the minimum of paper, and wash any/ the rest off.

Hey presto sparkling ring piece.

Skid marks in the over 5s are unacceptable.
He should do his own laundry btw.

HoratiaWinwood Tue 22-Jan-13 23:09:20

One word: shart.

aimingtobeaperfectionist Tue 22-Jan-13 23:09:45

Am I the only person to have cleaned with a baby wipe bum wipe then had to use loads of toilet paper as my bum felt really wet and bleurgh?! Seemed to use a lot of wipes/loo roll for one poo...

beeny Tue 22-Jan-13 23:10:53

Glad u were not shocked. Confused my youngest wont poo in nursery as they only have tissue so can cause problems.

Pendipidy Tue 22-Jan-13 23:11:58

Imagine the pants of shitty arse man from Embarrassing Bodies!

<just had to add the words shitty and arse to my phones vocabulary. I have obviously never used them before>[biscuit ]

Pendipidy Tue 22-Jan-13 23:12:29

Imagine the pants of shitty arse man from Embarrassing Bodies!

<just had to add the words shitty and arse to my phones vocabulary. I have obviously never used them before>biscuit

ConfusedPixie Tue 22-Jan-13 23:16:07

aiming: I wipe afterwards with dry paper to dry it too!

beeny: It makes sense to me! I was a tad shocked later on when I was looking at travelling and discovered why, in India, a certain hand is insulting to offer to shake because it's the wiping hand, but I got over that quickly enough.

Pendipidy: I remember him! And he was too embarrassed to go to the doctor but would talk about it on national TV?!

VisualiseAHorse Tue 22-Jan-13 23:17:16

This thread is awesome.

<admires own soft peachy bum that never does sharts.>

floweryblue Tue 22-Jan-13 23:17:21

XH always had skid marks, maybe because his pants always went up his very highly muscled bum?

DP for 10 years and 2 x DSS, I don't see skid marks very often. Don't ask me about wee on loo seats though!

FlouncingMintyy Tue 22-Jan-13 23:21:21

Adults in this household who have left skidmarks are forced to pre-soak and machine rinse the offending garments before they go in the general wash.

GetOrf Tue 22-Jan-13 23:24:39

Dirty bastards.

ComposHat Tue 22-Jan-13 23:25:34

yes the soggy arse after wet wipes is horrible.

I find a three ply better as the cheaper two ply stuff just smears the poo all over your ring.

olgaga Tue 22-Jan-13 23:25:47

Buy him lots of black undies.

BeaWheesht Tue 22-Jan-13 23:31:24

That man on embarrassing bodies - didn't he go to see dr Christian and there was nothing wrong with him, he just didn't wipe properly? And he wasn't mortified beyond belief even though he admitted he constantly stank of shite?????

I've never seen an actual skid mark when doing laundry and have been with dh 12 years. grin Ds has or had them occasionally but he's only just 6.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Tue 22-Jan-13 23:34:28

Body heat can cause skids. If there is the slightest bit of poo just up there then body heat and sweat bring it out onto pants.

aimingtobeaperfectionist Tue 22-Jan-13 23:39:37

I agree with PP, buy black pants. I've never seen a skid mark on DP pants, don't actually look- just shove in the machine. Don't want to know. My life would not be enhanced by seeing his poo on his pants.

squeakytoy Tue 22-Jan-13 23:42:13

I wouldnt even notice if there were any marks in my husbands pants as I dont tend to inspect them as they get shoved into the washing machine...

mummymeister Tue 22-Jan-13 23:47:53

my dh does all the household washing - clothes, washing up and dishwasher. these are his jobs so have no idea what his pants look like. mine obviously smell of roses even after a whole days wear.

floweryblue Tue 22-Jan-13 23:51:15

thanks oh no, it was meister floating under my nose grin

BertieBotts Tue 22-Jan-13 23:53:49

It's the bum hair. Definitely.

Passiveaggressivecakeeater Wed 23-Jan-13 01:33:21

I think it's just laziness personally.

ZooAnimals Wed 23-Jan-13 01:38:17

'But u wouldnt dream of wiping any other area of ur body with just dry tissue'

What do you use to wipe your nose?!

PowerPants Wed 23-Jan-13 01:46:45

Ooh mummymeister so does mine. Plus bin emptying.

I think it's laziness too. They just do a swift fly-by with a small bit of bog roll and think job done. Well, no. That will work with a clean break but not with the wallpaper paste style shit.

God I could write a dissertation on arse wiping.

bootsycollins Wed 23-Jan-13 01:50:58

I use baby wipes then toilet roll to dry, sometimes I'm really rock and roll and wet wipe after a wee for a freshen up. Poo stained wipes then go into a nappy sack then the bin.

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