was OH being unreasonable re work(122 Posts)
OH is a teacher and his school was shut yesterday and closed early friday (but the head left it way too late, 2 of the school coaches crashed and there was a big accident outside the school making it nearly impossible for anybody to leave. it took OH 2 hours to do a 15 minute journey).
The head is a bit of a nob tbh. nobody likes her, she seems to hate her staff and likes to turn them against each other. it makes the school an unpleasant place to work at times. she really has it against my OH - when i was in hospital with a suspected ectopic pregnancy she thought he was lying about it and asked a lot of personal questions before he was allowed to leave to see me in hospital (on a afternoon where he had no classes or other responsibilities apart from marking might i add...). Last school year she also got in big trouble because she flipped at OH for doing something (He didnt do anything wrong at all) and called him a lot of names and when OH complained to deputy she had to back track a lot and got in a bit of trouble!!
anyway back to the point - this morning OH couldnt get his car to move at all. its a rear wheel drive, very impractical car tbf, but the road conditions on our estate are treacherous. he tried for about 20-30 minutes to get his car out and failed miserably. it was also very icey and he fell over 3 times trying to do this. he called his friend who works at the school and lives nearby for a lift, but he couldnt get hold of him. He rang school and explained the situation and asked if anybody could pick him up. he explained that it is very dangerous to walk on the pavements and road because tis so slippy (last week i fractured my coccyx because i slipped over on the ice and it wasnt anywhere near as bad as it is now). he had a phone call back off the head asking him to explain himself and said she didnt care how icey it was, he needs to walk or get a bus.
the bus is a good 10/15 minute walk away on a good day and is all up hill by busy roads. IT is also another 10 minute walk when he has gotten off the bus (on a normal day). OH fell over SEVEN times on his way - he now has a sprained ankle, sprained wrist and has hurt his back.
do you think OH was unreasonable to say he didnt think he could get to work? or was the head unreasonable for making him walk and get bus to work in dangerous conditions??
Where I work I am expected to get here....I don't think they particularly care how I get here, walk, car, bus, cab etc etc.......
Tough one really and it does sound like he tried (a bit dramatically maybe) but yes, she is not wrong to insist he gets there. Was it REALLY that bad or is he being a bit of a drama king?
She couldn't make him but he would haver to accept that it would be an unpaid day off.
YABU He needs to get some of those boot grips. The head was not unreasonable for making him come in. He's not elderly.
Teachers, like nurses and doctors amongst others, need to be prepared for all eventualities.
For me, two 10-minute walks is not asking too much, no, but I grew up in a place with proper winters and this is something we would do every day. So I am probably biased, but perhaps the head is also from a colder clime and this is why she's not sympathetic?
I think it also depends whether she is allowing students not to come to school, it's not fair to excuse teachers but not students.
The information about the head and their personal relationship sound horrible, but I am only going to concentrate on the getting into school issue.
Yes I do think he should have walked/got the bus and worn correct footwear for walking in ice/snow. It is what many of us have to do in this awful weather and just left earlier.
I have not slipped over (yet) because i wear rubber soled boots and I am really not the most graceful of people.
yes your DH is being unreasonable to say he couldn't get into work. He can get the bus (you can buy shoe grip things that makes you not fall over - cna't remember the name now).
It's his responsibility to get to his workplace. Your DH's collegues will otherwise have to pick up his duties if he's not in, why should they have to?
My DH cycles to work and still goes even when its icy and work is 10miles away. A few of his collegues who live closer than him to work and drive, had called into work yesterday saying that they can't come in (they all live in the same area and had called each other to confirm they won't be going in so it was a group decision). DH was not happy, as he had to do their work too, despite making the effort to get into work in icy conditions himself. He said that those collegues were likely to get into trouble at work today because of it.
Where do you live?
Was he the only member of staff not to make it into work? If so, it doesn't look good really.
well i just went outside to go in the garage and i couldnt even stand up without holding onto the window sill and fence.
i couldnt actually get the bloody door open because its stiff and when i pulled i just slid so if its that bad or half that bad all the way then im inclined to think he wasnt being a drama king
I imagine the main roads are fine...they are more or less back to normal here so once you get off the side roads..................
I think your dh ibu.
He's a grown man! Everyone else managed to get to school (assumingly)
We've all been aware there's bad weather expected, plans should have been made for the foreseeable weather.
To icy to walk on but asked someone to drive to pick him up? Surely in a car is more dangerous?
And if he really slipped 3 times on your driveway and 7 times on his 10 minute walk, then it's not rocket science to work out that he is wearing inadequate footwear.
The relationship sounds horrible, but I really don't see why with appropriate footwear he couldnn't have managed to get the bus. I half expected to see Torvill & Dean glide past on my way to the station this morning - the pavements were just a sheet of ice - but the platform was as full as usual.
He needs to get better footwear. I bought myself a pair of proper walking boots last year for a holiday (£25 in a sale) and they have been invaluable this winter in the snow.
Why haven't you cleared your driveway at least? Put salt down? Tbh if you can't get into your garage then that's really your fault. The paths would probably be clearer and if you're on a side road you can always walk in the road.
You say the roads in your estate are treacherous. Fair enough - it's the same with my road; it is a side road which the council never grit. So, hen the snow was forecast, I drove my car to the nearest main road with parking and left it there, ready to use. THis is what your DH should have done. The snow was well predicted. His work is not unexpected. He needs to be prepared. If teachers don't make it into school then children have to sent home which means that parents have to take time off in other jobs and the whole economy suffers. YABU.
I have a lot more sympathy with you on the ectopic PG thing but perhaps your DH has a bit of history as a shirker?
Does he not have suitable footwear for snow/ice? I really don't think 20/30mins of walking is too much to ask to get to work.
also i am a childminder and i have no children today because none of their parents have been able to get into work. also all the schools by us are still closed, even secondary.
yes he would have been a lot better with sensible shoes (he only had trainers and work shoes) and those spike grips, but he doesn't have any. (i do now after my fall mwhahahaha)
he did get to work btw (albeit injured!) i dont know if there are any staff off, he cant really text me when hes at work
Does your DH know you are posting this here? You have given fairly identifying information to local people in telling us that the school has two school coaches crash outside it on Friday. I would be concerned about that given what you have written.
I think really that we all have a responsiblilty to plan, as far as we can, to cope with the weather. Your husband may have been able to do these things, for example - park closer to the main gritted roads, have appropriate walking equipment (snow and ice pavement crampons, walking sticks etc.).
Why haven't you gritted or salted/cleared your driveway?
My DH fractured his hip last week, but still got down to our car, so I could drive him to work today. I have spent a lot of this weekend clearing the path, the public path and steps and pavement to ensure it was safe.
Yes you DH's head doesn't sound good, but equally he sounds a bit feeble.
he HAD left his car on the road not on our drive.
I think the HT is being a little unreasonable OP but to be honest your DH should make all efforts he can to get to school.
I am also a teacher, and when the snow was really bad in 2010 it took me 3 hours by public transport to get to school (7 miles away) because it was too dangerous to drive. When I got there, some people who lived near me had not even tried and the school then shut an hour later. It then took me about 3 1/2 hours to get home because the trains had stopped running and I had to eventually walk the last 3 miles in almost blizzard conditions. I fell several times.
By the time I got home I was mightily pissed off, I had a massive bruise on my coccyx and had grazed my arm. Unfortunately if the school is open then teachers have to make the effort to get there - without endangering themselves. If public transport is running then that must be the option.
Is there any arrangement that your DH can report to his local school? This is what happens near me - I have since changed schools and if I couldn't make it to my school I would go to a primary school that is 5 minutes' walk away. Not exactly sure what I would do there, but that's where I would go...
It's not the head's fault your H doesn't have a decent pair of winter boots
It's not the head's fault your H didn't call a taxi.
The cost of a missed day's work is a hell of a lot more than either boots or a taxi.
Is he a geography teacher, by any chance?
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