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AIBU To think that ALL women...

(99 Posts)
DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 01:02:27

Should be able to dress however the hell they like without being accused of having issues, having only gotten a job because of the way they look, being brainwashed, trying to please men, damaging young girls....

I thought the idea of women having rights meant that they could make decisions for themselves, But it seems that instead of men dictating to us, Other women have taken the mens place in laying down the law over what we should and shouldn't wear.

I wouldn't sit here and criticise a woman in a baggy jumper and sweats, I wouldn't tell her she isn't sexy enough, i wouldn't tell her anything. I'd just assume that today, she feels best in her baggy jumper and sweats.

So why, why why can a large portion of todays women not do the same in reverse? Why do you see a woman wearing a tight, low cut dress and think she's got issues? What is the difference between the woman in the 'sexy' dress and the woman in the sweats? They both got up this morning and wore what they felt best in.

Am i missing some unwritten law that says 'Women have rights and choices - Unless they make another woman feel uneasy somehow?'

HoneyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 16:26:48

this I will judge. There is freedom to go out however you want, and there is chemical insanity.

I want my ds to grow up happy with his skin colour.

Darksideofthe80s Tue 22-Jan-13 16:31:01

I am one of the pink haters, it's partly the stereotype of sugar and spice and all things nice, my girls have their tomboy days and their girlie days, they just don't need to be dressed head to toe in pink to do either.
To be fair I also have a strong aversion to yellow and orange, as my name suggests I am well and truely stuck in my 80's goth days and only tend to wear black with occasional splashes of purple and red.

Ormiriathomimus Tue 22-Jan-13 16:40:53

No. Do you? Or do you simply object to people commenting on a forum or in newspapers etc. Same thing.

As it happens I don't dress like a bag lady (well not often!) and I keep myself in reasonably good nick.

Ormiriathomimus Tue 22-Jan-13 16:48:44

But my SIL is very large and has often had comments yelled at her 'fat cow!' etc.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 22-Jan-13 16:48:50

I had a strong reaction to the sight of 16 year olds walking to their prom wearing dresses that only barely covered their crotches (they'd be unable to dance, walk or sit down in a relaxed way), and shoes that were like stripper shoes, and they hobbled in like women with bound feet.

Such beautiful girls, but so sad that "fashion" for their age is so porny and so inhibiting.

FreudiansSlipper Tue 22-Jan-13 16:54:52

maybe she does enjoy it she seems to be but it should not be expected of female tv presenters. do you really think if she was not as attractive she would have that job? That is the issue and that more and more women are dressed up looking very glamarous while the male presenters no matter how old, grey, weight they gain, dress as long as they are smartish it does not matter they keep their jobs and get paid better

Remotecontrolduck Tue 22-Jan-13 17:09:53

I couldn't have put this better myself OP, bored of all this 'women do this because they a told they MUST. Or because they've been influenced.

Couldn't possibly just be that they know their own mind and like something eh.

IfNotNowThenWhen Tue 22-Jan-13 17:34:16

Yeah, I see girls dressed like that in town whenever I go out JamieandtheMagicTorch. I don't judge them for being like "strippers" but I do feel a bit sorry for them that they can't actually walk properly, let alone dance.
When I was a lass back in the stone age e.g the nineties we went out clubbing in tight shiny trousers or short dresses and trainers so we could dance all night. Remember those sparkly stack sole trainers?! Ha ha. But we were quite comfy most of the time at least.
The shoes they wear now were only available in very large sizes from "specialist" retailers and were for drag queens.

Other than not wanting any woman to feel she has to be uncomfortable to look good, I don't care what other women wear.
However, when you look at the cause of any trend in culture you can't say "women are their own worst enemies". The force that effects what women feel they need to do to be attractive and therefore valued, is such an insiduous and all pervasive one.
It is driven by commercial values, e.g lots of people have a vested interest in getting women to consume more (hair products, make up, spray tan, reality TV programmes, magazines etc) and where there is cash to be made there is a massive incentive to try and brainwash us into thinking it's all "our choice".
Some of it probably is, but by no means all, and we should be realistic about that.

ICBINEG Tue 22-Jan-13 17:37:08

I could never get a job in front of camera, no matter how good at it I might be, no matter how smart, no matter what I wore. Because I am ugly.

That is the price of NOT making a fuss about women dressing like strippers, of being all oh well it's their choice, it doesn't hurt anyone else...


It hurts me big time when other women make it all about the looks, the glamour, the sex.

It stops me getting jobs I might and millions like me.

WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jan-13 17:46:28

So sexy, good looking women should hide their bodies under ankle length victorian garments because it 'hurts' you ICBINEG?

Even if they really enjoy experimenting with certain fashions and wearing certain clothes?

FreudiansSlipper Tue 22-Jan-13 17:51:00

I do not think she is saying that I think what she is saying that it should not only be super slim sexy women who get certain jobs

sadly the not so super sexy slim women on tv are known more for that the funny fat bird that we can laugh at, the dyke, the ugly funny one when can they just be a presenter on tv who is good at their job and what about older women

MakeItALarge Tue 22-Jan-13 17:56:03

HoneyDragon, you are being tango ist. Being tangoed is a serious issue and these people need exfoliating help. Seriously yes I absolutly agree with you thats an awful look, judge away grin

What does annoy me is people referring to clothes as stripper dresses or stripper shoes. Wearing a certain type of heel doesnt make a woman a stripper, declaring someone is like a stripper is cruel and derogatory.

I wear 6inch heels, and I can walk fine in them. I dont do it to please anyone else, or to look good, or because I am a stripper. I wear them as Im a shortarse and I like them. Dr Martins are also uncomfortable and inhibating but I dont see the same judgemant for people wearing them.

OwlLady Tue 22-Jan-13 17:56:51

Karl Largerfield is a man. I know he has a funny pony tail and it's hard to tell, but he is actually male

CuriousMama Tue 22-Jan-13 17:57:27

I know plenty of 'in their words' unattractive successful women. There are plenty on tv now too. Lots who don't wear much if any make up. Loads of presenters aren't what you'd call glam. But good at their jobs. Confidence has a lot to do with it.

CuriousMama Tue 22-Jan-13 17:59:44


WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jan-13 18:14:33

I think that's exactly what she seems to be saying Freud unless I've taken this the wrong way...

That is the price of NOT making a fuss about women dressing like strippers, of being all oh well it's their choice, it doesn't hurt anyone else

So we should take away women's choice of dress because some people feel they wouldn't be able to make the same clothing choices?

And I agree with MakeItLarge, declaring a woman looks like a 'stripper' is derogatory and judgemental imo.

It's just one woman's way of looking down upon another instead of accepting that we all like to dress differently.

IfNotNowThenWhen Tue 22-Jan-13 18:24:30

I like heels too MakeItaLarge, but there are heels and heels. Last time I was in office it was like being in a fetish shop. The shoes look like instruments of torture. I can't see whats attractive about that tbh.

MakeItALarge Tue 22-Jan-13 18:26:56

I have only appeared on tv once as part of my job. I was wearing a hoodie, ripped combats and steel toe capped boots. No make up and I highly doubt I had looked in the mirror that morning when I brushed my hair (which was under a hat).

Icbineg are you actually qualified or trained to do anything in the media? Have you done any work or volunteered or auditioned/interviewed? Or is it easier to blame your looks?

chandellina Tue 22-Jan-13 18:44:21

I don't like the way some women dress, just like I don't like the way some men dress. I can't stand the slutty look but it's up to girls and women to find out for themselves if it's for them. I don't think it's crazy though for a provocative look to be seen as such, whether it's a spike in your forehead or a micro skirt.

flurp Tue 22-Jan-13 20:37:06

My DD wears the most amazing high heels. She has beautiful long legs and I think she looks wonderful in them (definitely NOT like a stripper at all!!!) She walks ok in them too.
I would take 2 steps and hit the pavement if I even tried to walk in them but her and her friends all prance about quite easily.
I remember my mum tutting about my 4 inch stilettoes and tight drainpipe jeans in the 80s - it's all the same.

FreudiansSlipper Tue 22-Jan-13 20:40:53

then I read it wrong

what most are questioning on here and not all have agreed witt the stripper comments is why women presenters need to look a certain way, why once they have lost their youthful looks and are not as glamorous are they pushed aside (Arlene Phillips) no matter what their experience is and knowledge they have. Mariella Frostrup wrote an interesting article questioning why news presenters have a similar look and why Penny Smith is no longer presenting she certainly has enough experience but she is past her prime in looks for men this is not a problem.

ICBINEG Tue 22-Jan-13 20:50:09

Nah FS you read it right. WL read it wrong.

MakeItALarge Tue 22-Jan-13 21:07:38

FreudiansSlipper I think that is a genuine and valid point and in that niche environment there is some discrimination, but the point of the op is that no matter WHAT anyone wears they should not be called insulting names such as a stripper.

Throwing derogatory terms at a woman because of her choice of clothes is just as discriminating.

Moistenedbint Tue 22-Jan-13 22:28:22

Feminists bang on about bodily autonomy when it comes to abortion but my, how the tables are turned when it comes to dress or presentation. Wearing heels, exposing a bit of cleavage etc then translates to self-objectification. Hilarious double standards.

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