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AIBU To think that ALL women...

(99 Posts)
DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 01:02:27

Should be able to dress however the hell they like without being accused of having issues, having only gotten a job because of the way they look, being brainwashed, trying to please men, damaging young girls....

I thought the idea of women having rights meant that they could make decisions for themselves, But it seems that instead of men dictating to us, Other women have taken the mens place in laying down the law over what we should and shouldn't wear.

I wouldn't sit here and criticise a woman in a baggy jumper and sweats, I wouldn't tell her she isn't sexy enough, i wouldn't tell her anything. I'd just assume that today, she feels best in her baggy jumper and sweats.

So why, why why can a large portion of todays women not do the same in reverse? Why do you see a woman wearing a tight, low cut dress and think she's got issues? What is the difference between the woman in the 'sexy' dress and the woman in the sweats? They both got up this morning and wore what they felt best in.

Am i missing some unwritten law that says 'Women have rights and choices - Unless they make another woman feel uneasy somehow?'

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 22-Jan-13 10:39:57

The Angelina hate is interesting. Brad Pitt is the one who was married, not her, yet Ang is made out to be the scarlet woman.

the woman from countdown is very intelligent, she is presenting a day time tv programme yet she often looks like she about to go out for the evening why is there a need for women on tv to do this why do so many then go on to do photo shoots of them in skimpy outfits. this is what is often expected of them and they have to do what they can to keep their jobs this pressure is not put on men. this is the argument not about a young attractive women dressing in skimpy clothes

Ok, how much do you think she is paid, compared to the male presenter? The woman with the degrees/brains. Do you think she is paid comparatively?

Women end up doing these bloody shoots because THAT is what pays well for them. Men still get paid more, for the same/similar jobs. Men get the prime time presenting jobs, they are almost always the lead presenter - the woman being almost the back up.

FreudiansSlipper Tue 22-Jan-13 10:41:31

feminisim is about women being equal. how many women who are over 50 are still presenting on tv not many, how many women who are overweight with grey hair their youthful looks have fadded still presenting not many yet there are plenty of men.

would it not be better for our society to have men and women on tv no matter what age, class (yes that comes in to it too), size and attractiveness on tv

women being cast aside when they get too old, to big, because they are not dressing up to present adds to the pressure on young women that they need to look a certain way. something is very wrong in our society if we place so much emphasis on how we look but what size we are. the media is still very male dominated women are a real struggle to stay in their jobs and sadly have to use their looks to stay how wrong is that

BupcakesAndCunting Tue 22-Jan-13 10:48:08

Worra, why did you choose to link to my thread, specifically? I thought that the way that AJ stood at the Oscars was pathetic. I don't give a crap about her dress or any other aspect of her appearance, tbh. She just looked ridiculous stood there with her leg poking out like a broke mannequin.

Anyhoo... I absolutely defend the right of any woman, or any man, to wear what the hell they like. But I also reserve the right of others to comment on it if it is featured in the paparazzi press, within reason i.e I don't much like the bitching about women not wearing make-up to go about their daily business and being photographed doing so. However, if you've invited the press to photograph you leaving a bar and you're wearing a dress that, ahem, doesn't shield your asets from glare then yes, you invite comment.

HoneyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 10:48:54

Never self validate validate how you look

Never present credentials as a way of justifying your appearance.

Always dress for you not others.

Accept that whether you are male or female, old or young it is the right of the non orange to judge you for turning your self that colour voluntarily.

HoneyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 10:49:38

I appear to have duplicated my validate validate confused

HoneyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 10:49:50


TooMuchRain Tue 22-Jan-13 10:59:48

The name-calling is totally unnecessary but that is something separate from being concerned about the way our society pushes women and girls to making certain 'choices' and that is what was being discussed in the other thread. My DN (aged 3) will tell everyone pink is her favourite colour but she is colour-blind and can't actually pick out a pink from some other colours - it's not 'just a colour'.

WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jan-13 11:05:18

Who do you think runs the publishing houses which prints these magazines, tells them what to write and what to sell? It's not women.

Who do you think the majority are who buy gossip mags like Heat, Take a Break etc? It's not men.

Bupcakes sorry, I linked to your thread because Advanced search was still buggered so I couldn't get to the Helen Flanigan one.

However, I should have pointed out that my link was to prove how many nasty posts there were from other posters about women's appearance and wasn't aimed at you personally so I apologise.

BupcakesAndCunting Tue 22-Jan-13 11:07:13

Oh ok fair enough!

Although I do join in on the bitching threads (usually about Peter Andre though tbf) so I am not a complete innocent.

Was just wondering why you picked that thread specifically when there are much much worse wink

WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jan-13 11:09:37

Cos the search is still fucked grin

And FWIW I think her pose was ridiculous too wink

flurp Tue 22-Jan-13 11:23:14

Actually I look good in leggings wink
I got told once that I got a job because I was the best looking applicant. And that was by a woman shock
In my job we can pretty much wear what we like so most of the girls wear jeans/hoodies/uggs etc. I always wear smart clothes because I don't feel professional otherwise, and I know a few of them think I'm 'posh' because I don't feel comfortable slobbing about in my 'Mum' clothes in the office.
Sad fact is that women bitch about other women everywhere. Whether on TV, at work, in the school playground, anywhere women gather there is a bitchfest sad

BupcakesAndCunting Tue 22-Jan-13 11:24:51

I wear leggings every day. Under a dress, mind. It just looks like I am wearing thick tights but they're warmer and don't sag at the crotch like tights.

RunsWithScissors Tue 22-Jan-13 11:25:14

Had posted this link in the feminism section a few days ago.

It's a photo done by an 18yr old Canadian art student addressing this very issue. Think it's great in message as well as showing that younger generations aren't as ignorant to the issue as they are made out to be.

SigmundFraude Tue 22-Jan-13 11:27:42

'I got told once that I got a job because I was the best looking applicant. And that was by a woman'

Yes, but only because she's been conditioned by the patriarchy and had no choice but to say that...

or she fancied you wink

WorraLiberty Tue 22-Jan-13 11:49:44

Yes cos she couldn't just be a shallow person who judges people entirely on their looks could she?

I think sometimes women are credited with such little intelligence by other women who refuse to believe anyone who disagrees with them, know their own simply has to be down to brain washing by the patriarchy.

<< Sigh >>

flurp Tue 22-Jan-13 12:51:57

Sigmund - I don't think she fancied me shock
We were receiptionists for a big company and when interviewing a new receptionist she told me that looks were the deciding factor. I asked her if that was the deciding factor when she interviewed me and she said yes, I was the best looking candidate.
Made me feel great that did hmm
And there was me thinking it was the qualifications I'd slogged my arse off to achieve!!

LittleAbruzzenBear Tue 22-Jan-13 12:56:39

The other mothers at my son's school rarely talk to me 'because you always have lipstick on and look so together, you show us up'. I'm not convinced. I'm nothing special. I'm just a little lipstick-wearing bear. sad

Agree with Shamy. Brad was the one who was married so why didn't he get the grief. I maintain that if he left Aniston for someone plain or equal in looks to her that there would not have been such a furore. Some women love to hate beautiful women.

I am one of those rare women that always compliments friends, acquaintances, or even strangers if their hair, clothes etc look nice, but only if warranted (I don't like false niceness either). If your friend looks fab why not tell them?

Fakebook Tue 22-Jan-13 13:03:25

Well, I get judgy about how women dress when I see so called role models like Rihanna posting half nude shots on twitter smoking weed. There is no need for constant nakedness IMO. People like Kim kardashian and Rihanna milk it with their lack of clothes. I don't want my dd thinking its normal to pose like that and wear clothes like that when she's an impressionable teen.

MakeItALarge Tue 22-Jan-13 15:37:51

HoneyDragon - if it is ok to judge the orange people it is also ok to judge the hairy ones? The fat ones? Where do you draw the line?

RooneyMara Tue 22-Jan-13 15:45:54

I've only read the OP, sorry. But I think the only thing that bothers a lot of us about women wearing 'sexy' clothes in certain employment (thinking of the countdown thread?) is that they might have felt the had to dress this way to get there/please the men/ etc etc

that's what worries me about it
I don't give a stuff if she likes those sort of clothes and it's without pressure.

Lueji Tue 22-Jan-13 15:52:57

FWIW, I judge men too. grin

Luckily I can wear almost what I like (not bikinis) at work, but there are lots of jobs, including for men where there's a dress code. In some you wouldn't show up in a suit and in others, you wouldn't show up in baggy jumpers.

Ormiriathomimus Tue 22-Jan-13 16:07:35

Wear what you wish. But if I decide to go out of the door dressed like a bag lady I defy most people to ignore me or not to judge. When women aren't made to feel inadequate for not shaving every bit of body hair they possess, wearing make-up all the time, looking 'groomed' as if they are a damned race horse, I will find time to worry about other issues.

HoneyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 16:20:06

No. The line is drawn after orange.

Nothing against people using fake tan either. But not orange.

DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 16:20:36

If you think some of us not liking the fact that a woman has to be sexed up, not stylish or well groomed, but sexualised, and that intelligence is not enough on it's own- and we're all nasty sly bitches who don't want anyone to be prettier than us- rather than hating our culture, you're quite frankly stupid.

Can you please point out where i have said this? I have said it is unfair for women to try to deprive other women of the very rights they have based on their opinion of 'decent' dress.

I have questioned if it has ever occurred to some people that some women want to dress this way, nothing to do with the male gender.

I have not once said anything about anyone being prettier than anyone or anyone being nasty sly bitches.

* she is presenting a day time tv programme yet she often looks like she about to go out for the evening why is there a need for women on tv to do this why do so many then go on to do photo shoots of them in skimpy outfits.*

ouldn't possibly be because they enjoy it and want to?!

DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 16:26:19

Ormiria - How are you made to feel inadequate? Do you get abuse hurled at you?

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