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AIBU to wish my dh would stop bragging about the chores he has done?

(29 Posts)
toomuchpink Mon 21-Jan-13 21:40:14

It is great that he has cleared a few shelves over the last week or so, but does he have to go on about it sooooo much? I was ironing/ sweeping/ scrubbing poo out of baby vests etc at the same time. I didn't think any of these things was worth mentioning let alone reliving repeatedly. Anyone else know what I am talking about?

bigbluebus Tue 22-Jan-13 09:16:05

DH winges about 'all the jobs' he has to do (ie empty dishwasher at night if he hasn't managed to delay running it until the morning so that I have to do it in the daytime). Every now and again I 'flip' and remind him of all the things I do that he takes for granted or doesn't even notice (ie every other job relating to running a house, the finances, organising everything). WHen he eventualy decides perhaps he should help out, he sits there and say 'What needs doing?' like he has lost the use of his eyesight and can't see the dust, faulty lightbulbs etc...
He also started cooking dinner at the weekends and me and DS used to laugh at DH, serving up the food, waiting until we took a mouthful and then asking "Do you like it? What do you think the 'secret' ingredient is that I have used". It was usually just a bog standard meal of the sort I cooked the other 5 days of the week, but for some reason he felt he should have praise for his efforts heaped on him because he had managed to prepare a meal (without having to juggle fetching children from after school clubs etc at the same time)!

CocktailQueen Tue 22-Jan-13 08:57:31

YANBU!! This drives me mad too. I tend to say - 'well done! I've done the floor FOR YOU! What do YOU want me to do next?' as my dh is incapable of thinking about/seeing what needs doing. He will ask, 'What do you want me to do?' and tell the kids 'Mummy wants us to do some housework' and doesn't realise he's doing it. Arghhhhhhh. My next one will be better grin

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 22-Jan-13 00:17:27

I got a 'I don't know how you do it' yesterday. All it took was a night away with the girls. I only had to rewash all the laundry...

Tortington Tue 22-Jan-13 00:15:44

standard response thus: "what do you want a medal? you live here too"

PurpleStorm Tue 22-Jan-13 00:14:46

YANBU. It's annoying.

DH does this occasionally. I usually respond by bragging about the chores I've done (I've almost always done more than him). He tends to get the message fairly quickly.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 23:41:59

Definitely make him a lovely star chart for the kitchen. If he gets ten stars, maybe let him have a new air freshener for the car, but fewer than five? No dessert on Sunday.

BlackBagBorderBinLiner Mon 21-Jan-13 23:30:43

In order to get a medal DH likes to do a food shop.
It will consist of various reduced for quick sale but still overpriced deli items along with specialty stale bread products. BOGOF giant rubber cheese blocks and special purchase Sugar frosted coco bombs. It will come to approx £45.
He struts back all proud at how he's managed to shop with DDs never took them during tantrum stage and how much he's 'saved'. He will then ask what's for dinner tonight.

My next husband will be better.

StuntGirl Mon 21-Jan-13 23:21:07

Harp on about every household task you do. He'll soon get bored grin

StuntGirl Mon 21-Jan-13 23:20:37

Harp on about every household task you do. He'll soon get bored grin

EugenesAxe Mon 21-Jan-13 23:03:52

I was thinking of starting a moan about washing up after seeing the detritus left on some of the things DH had supposedly 'washed up'.

I have to redo at least half normally, or just put up with slightly scummy things, and in the meantime he is feeling all holier than thou about having done it. His idea of washing is to have half a bowlful of water (not scalding) and generate a small mountain range of bubbles, that will somehow remove the dirt or bits food without the need to wipe while applying pressure. The result is not very clean things with soap scum residue at the bottom of them.

And relax. YANBU. I do so many things without huffing about it, or needing to ask a gazillion questions.

MsVestibule Mon 21-Jan-13 22:54:45

Ha, I'm a SAHM with school/nursery age children, and I do this to DH! Take today for instance - the hall and stairs hadn't been swept/vacuumed for God knows how long. So today, I took an hour, yes, an hour, to tidy and clean it properly. And he didn't even notice angry grin.

Of course I pointed out to him all my hard work neglected to mention I'd spent 2 hours MNing and he gave me the 'so what' look. Quite right. If our roles were reversed, I'd be asking him if that was all he'd managed to do all day.

allagory Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:49

Every time he does it, give him praise and another task. "Oh well done, that's great, now can you take the rubbish out please".

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 21-Jan-13 22:45:00

My first attempt at biscuit failed. FAILED!

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 21-Jan-13 22:44:40

Librarymum has a point: if he needs praise and kudos, then toss him a [biscuit} and say "good boy!" every time he cleans up after himself.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 21-Jan-13 22:43:44

That "for you" is the same mindset that calls staying at home with one's own children while the wife does something else "babysitting."

LibraryMum8 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:25:49

YANBU! If you praise him like a child will he do more?? If so I'd give it a go. Actually need to try this myself. And yes I get the 'lets help mum out' thing too. I for one am probably being over sensitive but he as well isn't realizing its his house too. I'm a wife, mom, and I work PT. None of those singly or together make me a slave!!

SnowieBear Mon 21-Jan-13 22:25:48

I think I've sorted that one out... all house work/chores are done by the 'pixies', no matter who actually carries it out. Somehow, he's worked out that my pixie is quite busy grin and whenever he does something, the praise goes to his pixie, so somehow his neediness levels have subsided over time.

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 21-Jan-13 22:19:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toomuchpink Mon 21-Jan-13 22:16:45

It is tempting to join in, but I would bore myself silly.
RubyrooUK at least you have seen the error of your ways!
Glad to know I'm not alone.

neveronamonday Mon 21-Jan-13 22:15:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Darkesteyes Mon 21-Jan-13 22:05:00

Natasha if hes using words like "for you" he clearly sees it as womans work.

RubyrooUK Mon 21-Jan-13 22:00:03

Oh no, this is me! I've just pointed out to DH that I wiped the kitchen surfaces after dinner and said huffily "don't thank me though" as he hasn't.

He cleans and packs up the kitchen mess every single night. Every night.

<heads off to apologise>

AuntieMaggie Mon 21-Jan-13 21:59:47

Yep same here!

WifeofPie Mon 21-Jan-13 21:59:35

Start giving him gold stars every time he feels the need to remind you of the chores he has done.

city1984 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:57:40

So true. Dh told his mum he did the xmas food shop. Funny how i had to do another huge shop to get all the things he forgot.

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