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to be fed up with DSS2 staring at DD when she's sleeping on my exposed boob?

(231 Posts)
Enfyshedd Mon 21-Jan-13 19:28:43

DSS2 is 6, DD is 8mo.

I'll admit that DSS2 has been irritating me a bit recently (like constantly losing his school shoes in his room by chucking his comics, toys & dirty laundry on top of them and when he nearly brained DD yesterday with a wooden shape sorter toy when he lost his grip when swinging it around angry), but kneeling up on a chair to stare at a sleeping, BFing DD is really bugging me right now.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get him to stop looking?

HollyBerryBush Mon 21-Jan-13 20:40:05

Some people don't like being stared at, irrespective of whether the person doing the staring is 6 or 60, cutely aware and interested or any other form of staring.

It's unacceptable in mammals and prolonged staring can be seen as aggressive.

Now before you rip me a new arse, I do realise this is highly unlikely to be the case with a 6yo - but the SM doesn't like it, she feels uncomfortable, intimidated by it.

And yes I am playing the devils advocate anthropology card

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 21-Jan-13 20:43:34


i've never heard of that card

OlivetheotherReindeer Mon 21-Jan-13 20:44:03

Oh how sad, poor little boy.

BloominMarvellous Mon 21-Jan-13 20:51:50

So now you have your PFB you don't like your DSS??

I have a DSS who is 8 and I would always include him and allow him to ask any questions when I have my own baby.

He is 6 ffs!!!!

notnagging Mon 21-Jan-13 21:00:25

Poor boy. sad

StraightTalkinSheila Mon 21-Jan-13 21:00:27

Radical idea- rather than sit there with a sleeping baby at your breast whilst DSS2 is obviously wanting to engage with you- why don't you put the baby in her cot and do something with him?

As for him losing his shoes and "nearly braining" DD: in the first instance, that's fairly normal six year old behaviour and in the second, it was an accident. H didn't intend it. (You said he "lost his grip" on the toy)

I'm not sure of the significance of you saying he is staring at your bare breast. He is SIX. Don't be sexualising it. (If that is what you are implying.)

I feel sorry for the poor bugger.

pigletmania Mon 21-Jan-13 21:00:45

well than holly, the op should cover up her boobs, or feed in another room. She sounds like a bit of an exhibitionist. I have seen friends feeding, and never seen a boob exposed it can be done.

JustFabulous Mon 21-Jan-13 21:01:16

I doubt very much that we will see the OP back.

My son was 2 when his sister was born and four when his brother was born and I am pretty sure he saw me feed them and caught sight of my breasts. Sometimes my kids see me topless now. Big deal.

Kids are curious and most 6 year olds don't have breasts so it is unsual for them to see them.

StuntGirl Mon 21-Jan-13 21:04:53

Yep, put your sleeping daughter in her cot and interact with your step son. Easy peasy.

girliefriend Mon 21-Jan-13 21:09:30

Its sounds like you dislike him tbh sad

I have a 6yo and all that you described as being 'annoying' is normal 6yo behaviour. Please get a grip and be nice to him.

Speedos Mon 21-Jan-13 21:10:52

Poor little lad.

SunbathingintheRain Mon 21-Jan-13 21:16:16

Er, what?

I clicked on this thinking he was going to be 18, not 6!

I think you need to get a grip and remember that a mere 6 years ago that little boy was a lovely snuggly baby just like yours.

I'm really saddened by this tbh sad

toomuch2young Mon 21-Jan-13 21:16:52


for all the reasons given and more.
Poor little boy. Where is his mum? Sounds like he needs a cuddle and some attention from adults that don't find his presence irritating. FGS he is an innocent little boy, who sounds like he's been through a lot in his little life. Please try and show him love and kindness and not treat him as an annoyance.

JuliesSistersCousinsAuntsCat Mon 21-Jan-13 21:17:50

Oh give over, you're being too hard on the poor lad. He obviously shows an interest in his little sister.


Hawa Mon 21-Jan-13 21:25:32

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DreamingOfTheMaldives Mon 21-Jan-13 21:28:46

Your post has made me feel really sad for your DSS

Fabsmum Mon 21-Jan-13 21:29:41

The OP makes me feel sad. Poor little lad. Give him a break.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 21-Jan-13 21:34:11

OP not back - what a surprise.

What a horrible horrible attitude to have about a 6 year old boy. My 6 year old nephew still pokes mine and giggles and talks about boobies and he's never even seen me breastfeed - god help us all if he had grin Boobs alone are interesting when you are a small person, they're soft and snuggly & kids don't have them... and breastfeeding is interesting, beautiful, incredible and fascinating. I'm a 43 year old woman and have to be careful not to stare, it's just so 'right' - I love their contented little faces smile

Grow up.

I'm pretty crap at discrete latching and just have to pull my boob out and do it as quick as possible then cover up. But I then don't complain about anyone looking/staring let alone a child!

Fwiw my ds 1 is 6 dd is 8 and ds2 is 6 wks and breastfeeding. They have never seen anyone breastfeed before and are still completely amazed AR what my boobs can do. They stare when I feed, the ask questions, sometimes ds1 asks if he can try breastfeeding too.

YABU and I hope this is a joke! If not I feel very sad for your dss2!

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 21-Jan-13 21:37:29

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thebody Mon 21-Jan-13 21:38:24

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TroublesomeEx Mon 21-Jan-13 21:38:29

When I was BF my DD it was almost a spectator sport for DS's friends (all between 6 and 8) who were fascinated and curious.

They were full of questions and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

My DD is now 6 and is obsessed with boobs - they're soft and squishy and they can make milk!!! How cool is that?!

I'm not surprised your 6 year old stepSON is fascinated, give him a cuddle and talk about his new sister with him.

Arthurfowlersallotment Mon 21-Jan-13 21:41:40

Oh give me strength

GregBishopsBottomBitch Mon 21-Jan-13 21:47:38

Another bizarre thread, is Jan not a busy time for people then.

MimsyBorogroves Mon 21-Jan-13 21:48:08

My DS is the same. He's a bit younger (4) I've been feeding over a year now, and he will still stop and stare. It's natural.

One of the best things I did was to explain what I was doing and why. Perhaps he's wondering why your boob is still out when she's not feeding? Explain about skin to skin and the benefits. Think about it in the long term - the information he's getting now could, in the future, help his own partner to do what you're doing now.

And they do retain it. Mine apparently gave a lecture at nursery to other children who were using a bottle to feed the doll about the mechanics and benefits of breastfeeding.

And he has asked some possibly awkward questions. He's asked me if he can watch the milk come out, and if he can have some. The first, I squeezed a tiny bit out to show him. The second, I offered to express some for him to taste. He giggled and went off to play with his Lego.

They're inquisitive. At worst, they're seeing where the boundaries lie. But they're learning about something important - focus upon that.

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