To think we do need the fireguard up?

[TheCunnyFuntIsAGrittersWife]

Because apparently we don't

We have an open fire in our living room, the hearth is brick with thick sandstone slabs laid on top. So it's pretty solid. This is our hearth. We have one of these to go around it to stop DD (19mo) getting to it. But DP always removes it and puts it in another room out of the way because he says it blocks heat getting into the room, it's a pain in the arse for putting stuff on the fire and if we're in the room then DD will be fine. This obviously is bullshit. I was sat no more than 4ft away from her the other day and she hit her head on the hearth. Luckily it wasn't hard enough to cause any damage but it did make her cry and she never cries if she falls etc.

There is also the issue of toys, DD has this ball shooter thingy, a bit like a lawnmower, you push it along and it picks up balls then you press the trigger and it shoots them out. A couple of times the balls have been fired onto the hearth, one day they'll end up in the actual fire! It's just so bloody dangerous with no fireguard there but DP just can't seem to see it! He cares more about staying warm and his convenience than keeping DD and her toys in one piece!

I'm not being unreasonable at all really am I?

[PotteringAlong]

No, yanbu

[pollyblue]

No YANBU and your DP is being really daft.

Accidents can happen in a second, whether you are in the room or not, and the damage fire to do should never be underestimated.

If he persists, have a google for the figures relating to child deaths due to domestic fires/heaters before central heating was commonplace. It was one of the most common causes of death in under 16s.

My BIL is a fireman and would roll his eyes in despair at your DP.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

How on earth does a wire surround prevent heat getting to the room?

Your DH is being a dick and yanbu

[SCOTCHandWRY]

YANBU, it take just a second for a child to trip and stumble onto a fire, the scars last a lifetime.

[PoppyWearer]

YANBU. We have a fire guard. It does not stop the heat.

Your DP is being a complete arse.

[Startail]

YANBU

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

DP is right - fireguards are a pain in the arse, they do block the heat, they mean the fire doesn't look as nice, they are annoying when you want to put more on the fire etc agree with it all.

However, he's being a total fuckwit if he puts any of this above the safety of your DD

A trip takes a nano second, you cannot be between your DD and fire at all times, you just can't. It's not negotiable. He can move it when she goes to bed and put it back before you go to bed. She could end up in hospital for months & disfigured for life - or she might not be that 'lucky' - why does he think it's worth that risk??? Idiot.

Does he spend much time looking after her on his own? Does he actually have any idea how quick they are and how quickly accidents happen?

[blackeyedsusan]

poppy has it...yanbu

[TeaTowelQueen]

Erm, no YANBU, we have a BabyDan fire guard around our wood burner (it has a gate in it) and my DS is nearly 5 - I am still no where near thinking we don't need it any more! One trip and he or any of his friends visiting could be scarred for life - and it doesn't stop the heat

[TheCunnyFuntIsAGrittersWife]

No, thankfully he doesn't have her much on his own.

I nipped out to the shop this afternoon and when I left, the fire guard was up, when I came back it had gone I was only out 20 minutes!

He didn't ever want to get one in the first place but I insisted. DD unfortunately takes after me and seems to be a bit of a clutz, she's always not looking where she's going and tripping over toys on the floor. I shudder when I think what could happen when she trips in the wrong direction.

[DrHolmes]

We have an open fire. I live with my DP and his parents. I put the fire guard up, they take it down. I have come into the living room so many times with wood popping and sparking flying onto the rug in front of the fire. Just yesterday I had to stamp out a bit of wood that was smouldering away on the rug. So i keep telling them "do not take the fire guard away". I mean it is their house so if it goes up in smoke it is their loss. Pretty sad for basic health and safety. Your DP will be sorry if when his house goes up in flames.

[PurpleStorm]

YANBU.

Accidents can happen very quickly, and a 19 month old toddler won't understand about why she's not meant to be going near the fireplace. Just being in the same room isn't enough to guarantee no accidents. Even if you or your DH are close enough to your DD to grab her at all times, you still couldn't guarantee that she'd never trip and fall on the fire.

And I don't think fireguards make that much difference to heat output. PIL's have a woodburning stove, fireguard always on except when DS is in his cot, and I've not noticed any difference in heat. It is a pain in the arse moving it back and forth when putting logs in, but that's unimportant compared to the risks to DS if the fireguard was left off (he's 17 months).

[PoppyWearer]

Ours is the same as yours and screwed into the wall. Could you do this or ask someone to do it for you?

[CelticPromise]

YADNBU. We have a wood burner and a 3yo DS. I would NEVER light it without the fire guard (we've got the BabyDan one with a gate too).

There was an episode of 24 Hours in A&E featuring a little girl who had set her clothes on fire going too close, maybe you should see if you can find it for H. He's being ridiculous.

[pollyblue]

IIRC a young girl died just recently after her dress brushed against a gas fire.

So as soon as your back is turned he takes it down?

[thekidsrule]

ive a "real effect" gas fire and still put a guard up when my six year old is about

dosent bear thinking about

yanbu

why would anybody risk it

[Birdsgottafly]

YANBU.

Take him on a trip to a peadiatric A&E and the burns unit.

There is barely anything more painful as a deep burn and nothing damages self esteem as much as lifelong scarring.

It is an accident that is so easily preventable.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I don't even light our fire when the children are about because it scares me. YADNBU.

[oldraver]

This is somehting I would go apeshit over.... there are some 'child safety devices'/measures which are up to the individual some people can think are OTT (as in to some people thyeb are important to others not)

For me two things are non negotiable..car seats and guards on fires/stoves. I would be having serious words with him

[HeadFairy]

yanbu, my dcs know the fire guard is always up when the fire's lit (I do occasionally take it down when they're in bed, but not often) All it takes is one ember to jump out on to the rug and you've got the start of a fire.

[Booboostoo]

YANBatallU. Your DP is being very irresponsible. DD is also 20mo and trips all over the place, there is no way we can predict when she might fall or anyway to stop her when she does so the we have a guard all the way around the entire corner of the wood burner.

[mercibucket]

I'd be going ballistic

There was a little girl died last month after her clothes caught fire. Show him that story. Very very sad.

[Procrastinating]

YANBU
My fire guard is never, ever down.
My dd likes to dress up in nylon fairy dresses, it is bloody terrifying to think of a spark getting onto one of those.

[apostropheuse]

YANBU
Your DH is being an irresponsible arse. Not only is there a risk of your child falling into the fire, or cracking her head on the hearth, but there is also a risk of things sparking or falling out of the fire.

I remember years ago when I had an open coal fire walking into the living room and seeing a pile of burning embers on the hearth, luckily enough being contained by the fireguard. I kid you not, there was literally a pile of them that had to be shovelled back into the fire. To this day I have no idea how it happened, perhaps a draft or somethig, but it was quite frightening. If the guard hadn't stopped them there would have been a fire.

I currently have a fireguard round my flame effect open gas fire. The fire is never used, but the marble hearth could certainly cause damage were a child to fall onto it.

I grew up in a mining village and obviously everyone had open coal fires then. I can tell you that I know several people who were accidentally burned - clothing caught alight, tripped etc. It's not nice to deal with those scars.

[greenpostit]

Yanbu. I have the baby dan fire guard attached to the wall. My dc are 4 and 6. We need it - it takes no heat, it has a gate in it, a child cannot move it. They can't hit their head on the hearth and they can't fall into/catch clothes int the fire. They would never touch the fire if the guard wasn't there, but they could have an accident. I see no reason to get rid of it any time soon - have you seem a 6 and 4yo chase each other?!