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To not invite MIL to baby shower?

(28 Posts)
Mixxy Mon 21-Jan-13 06:08:50

Since I became pregnant my MIL has been her usual interfering, domineering self. We wanted to wait until 14 weeks before announcing the pregnancy, she took it upon herself to announce it at a family BBQ neither myself nor my husband were able to attend. I'm living in the US where my husband is from: land of the baby shower. Where I'm from, buying stuff for the baby before he or she is born is considered extremely bad luck. She told me that was nonsense and that I was "in America now" and mocked my cultural background. I managed to avoid a shower before the baby is born but she bought loads of clothes for the child and brought them into our apartment. My husband thinks we should be grateful for the help, I think she's being very insensitive and should back off.

Anyway, some friends of mine (a mixture of where I'm from and my American friends) are throwing me a shower after the baby is born. AIBU not not invite my MIL? I'm not inviting any of my in-laws tbh, but MIL will strike up a drama for the ages if she finds out.

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 21-Jan-13 10:01:29

Fuck me, is your husband called Howard Wolowitz? He needs to grow up. ANd how did that bassinet get into your house at all? Either she has a key (change the locks!) or he allowed it in, knowing you didn't want it. A little respect for your opinions wouldn't go amiss from him either ...

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome Mon 21-Jan-13 10:07:23

Eep, she organised your wedding! Were you happy with her choices and so it wasn't a big deal or did you have to put up with things that you didn't want?

I think YADNBU to not want this to carry on - sounds like she has no boundaries and is used to getting her way. If she does throw a strop, explain your friends are throwing you one and family aren't coming to it but if she (and you, obviously!) wants, you can have a family shower perhaps? No reason for her to be involved in every aspect of your lives, and a good time to enforce boundaries so that she sees you mean business.

CatsRule Mon 21-Jan-13 11:06:14


You can claim not to know about the shower, it was a surprise and as someone said previously you weren't in control of the guest list. You are allowed to see friends without your mil!

Oh, and "you are in America now" hmm

Enjoy your snuggly newborn and don't let mil interfere or ruin your enjoyment like my vile mil did to me!

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