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To have shouted at a women in the Asda toilet

(426 Posts)
pinkmagic1 Sun 20-Jan-13 20:11:36

Was in Asda this morning getting a bit of shopping for my nan and my 8 year old ds decided he needed the loo. Sometimes he uses the mans but sometimes he prefers to come with me into the ladies. I personally don't see a problem with this, he is only 8 ffs. However there was a women in there who whilst my ds was washing his hands and after looking at him like something she had scraped off the bottom of her shoe asked me how old my ds was. I told her he is 8, she then proceeded to tell me it was terrible that I should let him use the ladies and he should be able to manage perfectly well on his own! She then made a speedy exit and I shouted after her 'mind your own business you miserable cow!' I was really shook up by the whole incident but aibu?

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 20-Jan-13 20:34:34

If she was being particularly aggressive then you definitely should have ignored her. Giving aggressive strangers a mouthful can be a recipe for more of the same or worse.

Fakebook Sun 20-Jan-13 20:35:03

Oh and I wouldn't let my children go into public toilets alone at that age. You hear all sorts these days. Wasn't a 5 year old molested in the toilets at an ASDA a few months ago?

Flojobunny Sun 20-Jan-13 20:35:03

It's not about whether an 8 year old is capable of using a toilet. It's about not knowing whether there are any strange men lurking in the public toilets.
How can anyone compare to school. Ridiculous. Does no one watch the news?
Young child in Asda Glasgow?
Older child in Debenhams?

LifeofPo Sun 20-Jan-13 20:35:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gumby Sun 20-Jan-13 20:35:47


I really hope you had a baby to change and not just a 3 year old who could have used a toilet in the ladies

WaynettaSlobsLover Sun 20-Jan-13 20:35:52

IMO you shouldn't be letting an eight year old boy in the ladies. It's not like he's five where personally I wouldn't see it as an issue. Kids are a lot more mature these days too and if your son is a bit taller than average then people might think he is older for example. Neither of you should have shouted or said something in a rude manner. Yab slightly u.

Sirzy Sun 20-Jan-13 20:36:41

So flojo should nobody ever go to the toilet alone then incase they are one of the extremely rare cases? I watch the news daily and if you were put off doing things because of what was on the news then we would all need to be wrapped in bubble wrap.

BupcakesAndCunting Sun 20-Jan-13 20:36:59

"The boy is 8! Not 8 or 18 months. He should be able to manage on his own. We took our 4 year old grandson to a farm park and he went to the men's washroom by himself."

Bully for you hmm

fourfingerkitkat Sun 20-Jan-13 20:37:28


YABU to allow your 4 yr old grandson to use a public toilet on his own. Just my opinion....Even if he is confident and able. The incident referred to in my above post gives my reasons for thinking this.

And your reference to poor grammar is just you being a f**ny really, isn't it....

VivaLeBeaver Sun 20-Jan-13 20:38:11

I've never had a boy but if I did I'd probably take an 8yo to the loo with me. Look what happened to that boy in the toilets in debenhams in Manchester last year. Unlikely to happen but it does.

In womens toilets everyone's in a cubicle. It's not like he's peering under the doors. All he's going to see is women washing their hands. Shock! Horror!

LittleChimneyDroppings Sun 20-Jan-13 20:38:25

You shouldn't have shouted at her and called her names.

akaemmafrost Sun 20-Jan-13 20:38:36

I live in west London, their are certainly some dodgy types where I live and I would not be happy to allow ds who is almost 10 to go to into the public mens toilets around here alone. In our local McDonalds I have seen drug users being turfed out of the loos. At our local park right next to the park used to be public toilets that were frequented by drug dealers and ex H actually called the police once as they were doing it so openly in front of the children in the park. They've been pulled down now so prolific was the problem.

It's totally a judgement call. Oh and I live in a vair naice area of West London too.

chicaguapa Sun 20-Jan-13 20:39:41

YANBU. I haven't let DS(8) go into a public toilet alone since I saw the story about the two little boys in the McDonald's toilet. sad

fourfingerkitkat Sun 20-Jan-13 20:39:52

Gumby I had a 3yr old boy who had been holding his poo in for 5 days (major problems toilet training him) and he was literally in the process of shitting himself...Ran to the ladies first which had a queue out the door, so ran to the disabled toilet as a last resort to change him into a nappy.

Bobyan Sun 20-Jan-13 20:40:28

I think you were positively restrained

The world is unfortunately inhabited by some very strange people (she sounds like one of them), shouting may not have been the best course of action, but reading some of the frankly ridiculous responses on this thread, good for you.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sun 20-Jan-13 20:41:00

A young boy was recently sexually assulted In a McDonald's men's toilet whilst his mum waited outside the men's loos for him.
Your right, not sure you got your point across in the best way. But it's none of her business, its not like it meant she had to wait

pinkmagic1 Sun 20-Jan-13 20:42:06

So I am a JK case because I shop in Asda and because I made a slight mistake in my grammar? Not everyone can afford Waitrose sadly!

Gumby Sun 20-Jan-13 20:43:00

Well let's hope the woman with a stick wasn't in a similar predicament

BupcakesAndCunting Sun 20-Jan-13 20:43:17

What actually IS the problem with an 8 year old using the women's bogs? It's not like we women walk around with our fanjos out inside the toilet compound. What is he going to see? Some ladies handwashing? Racy.

wonderingsoul Sun 20-Jan-13 20:43:59

I wouldn't have shouted.. I much prefer a stern look in to the eyes and a calm 'you have no information on my son so I would consider it wise to keep your thoughts to your self '

much more effect.

fir what it's worth. my eldest is 7 and still goes into the lady's. with me and sometimes on his own. say if we are in a cafe he'll go by him self.

there is many story's andbi have appearance with touching and rude comments from chilsrenbuaing men's toilets on their own. yes it could happen in the woman's BUT statistically it's a lot lower. I'm a single mum. I have males .to take him to the men's so screw what other people think or feel when a young child is in the womana all I'm doing is trying to limit opportunitys for bad things to happen.

fourfingerkitkat Sun 20-Jan-13 20:44:09

pinkmagic1....did you feed your kids a Greggs sausage roll on the way home ? No ? You can breathe a sigh of relief then, not quite JK standards yet wink

Flojobunny Sun 20-Jan-13 20:44:58

Sirzy I'm not suggesting anyone should wrap their child in bubble wrap, merely when there is a simple safer option then use it.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 20-Jan-13 20:45:38

I was at a national trust property today which I've visited since I was a child. About 25 years ago when I was young a girl who was about 9yo was raped in the toilets there. So badly that she needed surgery, this was on a busy sunny weekend.

I'm to normally one for paedo hysteria at all. Dd has a lot of freedom and goes into town on her own, etc at 11yo. But if I'm with her I accompany her to the loo when we were shopping.

I think it's up to the parent to decide if their child is old enough to go on their own.

I don't see the big deal about toilets though, quite a few are communal now. I do see a big deal with changing rooms - I don't want boys older than about 8 in there.

akaemmafrost Sun 20-Jan-13 20:49:02

But many swimming changing rooms are communal aren't they? Certainly at public swimming pools. Family rooms. With cubicles.

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