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AIBU to be absolutely mortified that I am still a virgin?

(223 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

WantsToBeFree Sun 20-Jan-13 19:21:31

I will soon be 24 and I am still a virgin. There, I've said it blush

Do I want to have sex? YES. Do I want to be in a serious relationship? YES.

Unfortunately, life has been very complicated for me so far, and you could say I haven't had the time or opportunity. I have been in a relationship and there was a physical side to it, but we never went all the way.I am not a prude, but I don't think that I can have sex with anyone I don't genuinely like and trust.

I am feeling very hopeless and quite embarrassed about my situation. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I a complete freak?

Pedestriana Fri 26-Feb-16 09:59:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoTeQuiero Fri 26-Feb-16 09:45:03

Bill that's why I flipped to the end of the thread!! grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 26-Feb-16 00:13:51

ZOMBIE alert should really stay on the thread longer. hmm

Xmasbaby11 Fri 26-Feb-16 00:12:16

I was a Virgin til I was 22. I did feel it was late but the right time for me.

BillBrysonsBeard Fri 26-Feb-16 00:08:35

Wonder if OP has lost it yet? grin

TowerRavenSeven Thu 25-Feb-16 23:24:31

24? That is still very young. I started at 19 and wish I'd waited much much longer. Nothing to be mortified about.

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 25-Feb-16 23:11:44


Ambroxide Thu 25-Feb-16 22:29:09

Oh fuck, zombie thread. Sorry, all. As you were.

Ambroxide Thu 25-Feb-16 22:27:03

* I don't think that I can have sex with anyone I don't genuinely like and trust.*

Can I just say that I am 47 and v much not a virgin and consider this an eminently sensible position to take. I wish I had had as much sense at your age. You'll be fine.

schuii Thu 25-Feb-16 21:49:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

schuii Thu 25-Feb-16 21:38:27

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PiperIsOrange Mon 29-Sep-14 17:23:30


HappyAgainOneDay Mon 29-Sep-14 16:28:28

Mortified. Don't be daft, Woman! You should be proud!

DayLillie Mon 29-Sep-14 16:13:49

Yep - revived by a 43yr old man grin (see upthread Tues 23rd Sep)

ninetynineonehundred Mon 29-Sep-14 16:10:14

Oops just seen this is a zombie thread. The second one today.

ninetynineonehundred Mon 29-Sep-14 16:09:03

Op I knew someone who was 33 and had been married several years before dtd (psychosexual issues)

Sex is just one part of life or relationships.
The right guy isn't going to care about your experience.

CarrotAndStick Mon 29-Sep-14 15:54:03

The reason why you are mortified is that you are still thinking along the same lines than when you were 17~18yo and 'in' thing was to not be a virgin anymore, so you could be a 'grown up'.

What you hearing here is what more mature women are saying.

I suspect that men would probably say something different.

In reality, what is important is YOU and what you are comfortable with. I think point 5 is big one (It was for me).
It's funny how, once you've done it once, it suddenly looks normal and easy and you don't have any hang ups about it anymore.

scatteroflight Mon 29-Sep-14 15:51:37

OP I was 28 when I had my first kiss. I DTD a few weeks after that so didn't waste any time once I got going.

I know that I'm unusual but perhaps not as unusual as you'd think given that no-one would ever admit this in public wink

DayLillie Mon 29-Sep-14 15:41:20

One of my childhood contemporaries fell madly in love and 'deflowered'* in his early 50s. Got married (much to his nongenerian father's disapproval confused) and very happy grin.

*according to his big mouth best friend

TheIronGnome Mon 29-Sep-14 15:36:58

I felt massively old when I lost mine at 21 but now that feels quite young! I ended up wih someone I wasn't that fussed about just to 'get it out of the way' and I wouldn't do it any differently! But that is not my advice to you, my advice to you is to save it for someone special smile

19lottie82 Mon 29-Sep-14 15:33:56

gosh I don't think UABU OP. I remember being 16 and feeling like the oldest V ever. I lost it shortly after that, I saw it as something I wanted to get rid of, mainly due to peer pressure.

Waiting to lost it to someone I loved, would have been great, but I didn't fall in love until I was 28 (4 years ago). I did have a lot of fun until then though! well not a LOT, but you know what I mean.

Waiting until you fall in love isn't always a practical solution if you want to get rid of your V plates, but I would advise to make sure it's someone you trust and respect and vice versa.

Sazzle41 Mon 29-Sep-14 14:37:46

So was i at 23! To be frank it was social phobia plus i built it up into something scary and made too much of it. I really wouldnt worry if you just havent found the right personl.

Smilesandpiles Sat 27-Sep-14 16:08:27

Arse, bitten by the Zombie.

Smilesandpiles Sat 27-Sep-14 16:07:50

OP, you're not missing out on anything, I promise!

HouseBaelish Sat 27-Sep-14 15:19:06

If it helps I'm mortified that I slept with someone who sang MN8's "I've got a little something for you" whilst waggling his willy at me.

Think yourself lucky.

It doesn't matter when/how/with whom you do it. Be happy. It will happen.

You will enjoy it. Don't worry.

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