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To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

(591 Posts)
EspressoMonkey Sun 20-Jan-13 09:30:27

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

YellowDinosaur Sun 20-Jan-13 10:52:41

What kungfupanda said.

I am seething on your behalf what a load of entitled bitches! I would never ever have thought it reasonable to treat sometimes home, who was putting me and my friends up for free, like this however little I thought of them.

TheUKGrinchImGluhweinkeller Sun 20-Jan-13 10:55:13

YANBU - in fact you were quite tolerant not to read the riot act earlier. Driving them to the airport would have been behaving like a doormat. Wow

ApocalypseThen Sun 20-Jan-13 10:56:07

Contrary to what everyone else thinks, I think your MIL will probably be horrified when you explain why this person will never cross your threshold again.

SpottyBagOfTumble Sun 20-Jan-13 10:56:31

Yanbu. How horrid!

onyx72 Sun 20-Jan-13 10:56:33


I don't think you will see a penny from MIL and HSIL for damages.

I can't be the only one who is dying to see the photos!

BerthaTheBogCleaner Sun 20-Jan-13 10:56:59

In your email to MIL, I would describe the behaviour fully, in an unemotional, factual way. Quote the actual words they used. "Rude and unhelpful" could mean they didn't make you a cup of tea, and forgot to say please.

And send HSis an itemised bill.

FeckOffCup Sun 20-Jan-13 10:58:43

YANBU and a much bigger person than me for not throwing them out immediately after the snotty cow/hag comments. Definitely involve MIL as SIL is obviously not mature enough to realise the consequences of her behaviour on her own, spoilt little shit.

ZenNudist Sun 20-Jan-13 10:59:02

Yanbu! Nasty Piece of work. What everyone else said about the letter to MIL. I wouldn't harp on about money and rise above it, unless it leaves you with damaged property you can't afford to replace?

gimmecakeandcandy Sun 20-Jan-13 10:59:50

Add message | Report | Message poster Bluebell99 Sun 20-Jan-13 09:43:54
I would photograph the damaged sheets and send to your mil, and ask her to get some compensation from the hsil, and also tell her how awful they were. Yanbu to get them to make their own way to airport, they sound appalling.


And they are rude little cunts!

Never again

Numberlock Sun 20-Jan-13 11:00:01

I would send the email now before they get chance to concoct a story about your 'unreasonableness'. I hope you get your home back to normal ASAP, it sounds wonderful.

maddening Sun 20-Jan-13 11:00:10

They're lucky they weren't kicked out at 3am.

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 11:00:17

I agree with Bertha. You need to tell your mother in law everything you have told us here. She needs to understand exactly how they behaved.

maddening Sun 20-Jan-13 11:01:21

Ps def send the email to mil. And take the chance to let her know her daughter has put an end to any possibility of future "borrowing" of your house.

catinthesnow Sun 20-Jan-13 11:05:48

yanbu at all.

this might help in removing makeup from your bedlinen.

ivykaty44 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:06:07

take photographs of the damage and send to your MIL then keep the photographs and if ever anyone asks to come and stay again explain that you had such a terrible experiance after wards you swore that never again, and if you feel the need open the photographs and look at them to remind yourself why you are saying no.

ivykaty44 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:06:59

what is HSIL?

twolittlemonkeys Sun 20-Jan-13 11:08:47

Absolutely agree you should email asap before they get a chance to give their side of the story. Their behaviour is utterly appalling and they should be ashamed, as should MIL for being such a bad judge of character. I wouldn't worry about how to phrase it nicely. Quote word for word the horrid things they said and don't in any way downplay the inconvenience, disrespect or terrible behaviour. I'm shock and angry on your behalf.

SarahBumBarer Sun 20-Jan-13 11:09:44

Yabu. They were guests and it sound like having not wanted them to come you were rather unfriendly and unwelcoming. If its only your weekend home why not just stay away while they were there and let them enjoy it?

Sorry! grin the whole YANBU consensus was distressing me so I just had to add an opposing viewpoint. Of course yanbu! Why were you there all week though if it is a weekend place? Not that I blame you (i would probably have wanted to keep an eye on them too) but it might have been less stressful to have left them to it!

ConfusedPixie Sun 20-Jan-13 11:13:58

YADNBU. I hate young people who have no respect for anything or anyone. Definitely bill the SIL and CC in your MIL. Take photos and lots of them. Also check for hidden 'momentos' just in case.

ivykaty44 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:14:30

It is so sad that these people behave like this, they leave home and go out and behave like this and become horrible neighbours, work colleagues and bosses....

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 11:16:10

I think it's half sister in law.

Her husband's half sister.

lunar1 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:18:01

What selfish people, never have them again op

Snazzynewyear Sun 20-Jan-13 11:19:21

Of course YANBU. That's disgusting behaviour.

Also, even if they hadn't behaved this way, I would say that if they're old enough to holiday by themselves abroad, they are old enough to make their own way to the airport.

doublecakeplease Sun 20-Jan-13 11:23:41

Yanbu - disgraceful behaviour from the nasty little bitches - the email zillion suggested is perfect. Copy mil in. Get DH onboard too.

Sure someone on here could talk you through uploading photos (not me, I'm clueless)

EspressoMonkey Sun 20-Jan-13 11:24:06

HSIL is half sister in law. DH's mum's youngest child from her second marriage.

Thank you all so much, you make me feel ten times better.

The doormat is dead, long life bolshy, put my foot down and take no shit me!

Thank you too catinthesnow for the cleaning tip but i have already chucked the sheets in the wash with half a tub of Vanish White. Will see how they come out later.

Sent MIL the email but no reply yet. DH is back tomorrow night. Off with DCs for a coffee and croissant and trip to the park to cheer us up.

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