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To want to throw something at DP's DB

(180 Posts)
GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 02:28:01

My DP's DB has some unfortunate incidents hmm resulting in him now living back at home (with my DP and their Mum). He sleeps in the room directly next to where my DP and I sleep (I stay over quite a lot). It is currently about 2AM and he (DB) has returned from wherever he has been (I assume the pub) with a girl who he has been (ahem) seeing. I don't mind this, he is entitled to do what he liked with whoever he likes.

However, he had (clearly) woken me up as well as my DP as his understanding of the words 'quiet' and 'whisper' are nonexistent. The girl he's with is worse, her voice is just so loud and (I hate to say it) really chavy. They have put a film on though they are chatting over it.

The thing I hate most us that there's no consideration for. Anyone else in the house (bungalow so all rooms b close). My DP has work in the morning (chef- split shift tomorrow) and I can tell that he is not asleep.

AIBU to want to go and thump the (ahem) twonk and tell him to shut the hell up because he is keeping everyone up! He wakes me and DP up all the time, once before with this girl and many other times just by him and his loud mouth! This is excluding many other very selfish, disgusting and rude things that he has dome/does. It's not fair on my DP and I want to just through something at him!!

Sorry, I know this is long and probably seems pathetic, but it's really affecting my DP sad

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 10:39:05

ledkr - i think it's something to do with him not understanding the fact that there are other people in the world lol. I hope your dd wasn't too noisy. I too was told to shut up at my one (and only) sleepover as a child. Sleep-overs were banned from then on lol smile

ledkr Sun 20-Jan-13 10:41:18

sarah that's my opinion too. However two of ds "long term gf" took the piss. Ate all my food used my products in the shower and just generally lived here for free. I was single parent of four and ds was paying a small amount of rent!
I tried to be tolerant but one day she accused me of eating one of her caramel shortbreads. I had but she had been eating my food for monthshmm I showed her the fecking door along with the other shortbreads which narrowly missed her head as she walked down my pathway grin

spudmurphy Sun 20-Jan-13 10:43:49

Ledkr i love it!!! Well done yougrin

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 10:45:04

ledkr - I wouldn't dare eat all my MIL food, although I love her and think she is really nice and all, she can go mental sometimes. I think that I would get shown the door if I was like that too! Good for you throwing the shortbread at her though, nice touch grin

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 10:47:18

DD's in a houseshare as a student. She's learning vital lifeskills like sharing turf, compromise and negotiation. Because everyone is on an equal footing they either work out the problems or move out.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 10:48:36

Oh, and well done Ledkr! grin

SarahBumBarer Sun 20-Jan-13 10:53:24

Pmsl Ledkr - hopefully you obtained a consensus of YANBU before chucking the shortbread at her?

ConfusedPixie Sun 20-Jan-13 10:58:24

It should be your DP who complains as it's his house, or moves out.

I say this as somebody who is in a very similar situation (DP is a student, I am working part-time and we live in a city in the SE) yet we live in a house share rather than with parents. Much prefer it tbh! I reckon unless you're living in London, you could afford a houseshare easily if your DP is a chef and you get loans! Which would make much more sense than living with parents if things are that frustrating.

Ledkr: You legend grin

Bluebell99 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:03:52

So you go straight to work from your dp's house and you don't use the shower?! Eugh shock

ledkr Sun 20-Jan-13 11:07:52

Puts up collar in no nonsense manner and punches palm!
She lost me when she used my Paul Mitchell hair products.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 11:07:55

I shower in the evenings, what's wrong with that? Lots of people do that confused

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 11:08:48

Ahaha ledkr, she sounds like she was awful grin

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 20-Jan-13 11:10:01

op, what are you doing sleeping with a man in his mother's house?
why does she let her sons bring random women home?
clearly the mother is a woman of no decency at all.
naturally her adult sons have no respect for her and so do not conduct their sexual adventures discreetly away from her home.
you and the 'chavvy ho' are no different from each other. you might be quiet and polite but you both go round to a woman's home to have sex with her sons.
you are in no position to criticise.
and your own parents might want to think about how they brought you up, if you are content to form a liason with a man from a family with such low standards. are you sure you are not letting your parents down?

ledkr Sun 20-Jan-13 11:11:05

Are you serious bunny

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 11:12:19

Are you religious, bunny?

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 20-Jan-13 11:12:58

one hundred per cent. i thought it might not be the standard view. all the more reason to post it.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 20-Jan-13 11:13:24

religious? a bit.
decent? yes.

ledkr Sun 20-Jan-13 11:14:37

A little bit ott really. This is the 21st century and people do have sex before marriage. Are Christians meant to be this judgey?

CoolaSchmoola Sun 20-Jan-13 11:15:11

You keep referring to it as 'my DPs house' - except it's not. It's his mum's house or it's the family home.

Of course if you call it DPs house because he lives there then you should also think of it as DBs house...

It is down to DPs mum to say what goes in HER house.

Have you thought about the fact that if you can hear their 'activities' allowed they can definitely hear yours? Maybe DB is sick of hearing YOU. If the walls are that thin he will be able to hear everything too.

FWIW you come across as very judgemental with your 'chavvy voice','not one of those girls' and opinions on why your relationship is the right sort etc.

You also sound very young.

He LIVES there - you don't. It's his home as much as DPs and whilst your DPs mum (she isn't your MIL) may like you a lot she will not love you like she loves her kids - including DB, no matter what your DP says and your regular presence WILL occasionally drive her nuts.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 11:15:36

The difference is, in my opinion, is that I don't just round to his house to 'have sex'. I go round to spend time with him and hang out. I also spend time with his Mum and we have gone out for meals together with my DP. I don't think that constitutes being a 'chavvy ho'. I also don't think that the other girl is a 'chavvy ho', she just had an irritating voice.
No, I am not letting parents down in anyway.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 20-Jan-13 11:19:17

ledkr A little bit ott really. This is the 21st century and people do have sex before marriage. Are Christians meant to be this judgey?
did i mention Christianity?
judgey? there's no judgement involved - only 'standards'. respectable behaviour. none of which has gone on in the situation described in the op.

thebody Sun 20-Jan-13 11:19:53

I sort of get what bunny says. My older lads are 23 and 21 and wouldn't dream of treating our house like this. They have 2 younger sisters as well so have to be good role models.

They have left home now but return for holidays etc.

One had a long term girl friend that was allowed to stay but the younger one has 'shall we say more fleeting relationships' but never under my roof thank you.

Op you need to stop dossing at your partners and look to rent a double room with your dp.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 20-Jan-13 11:20:15

well, school, at least you are content with your behaviour.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 11:20:46

Coola, i know she's not my MIL - it was quicker to type than DP's DM. And I agree it is the family home. I live in my family home, but often call it 'my house' to others. It's just the way I talk.
As I said, I perhaps shouldn't have said chavvy voice - perhaps just irritating.

LIZS Sun 20-Jan-13 11:21:54

How do you know you haven't disturbed him on other occasions ?

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