To HATE my husband's thick orange beard???

(130 Posts)
SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 19:44:25

My husband has grown a really thick beard that covers half his face and completely covers his mouth. He has gone from being gorgeous (like a young Richard Armitage) to looking like a scruffy, unkempt pensioner who has had a really hard life!

I told him weeks ago (stubble stage) that as it was his face, he could of course grow a beard, whatever he wanted and I would support him. BUT....I hadn't counted on how it has affected my physical feelings about him. I find him unattractive and strange to look at, like I don't know him. sad I miss the face I fell in love with.

He is a lot grumpier now too and as he now looks older he has started to ACT older and I wonder if losing his young looks (he could easily get them back if he shaved that damn thing off his face) has made him lose his young personality.

I am cross with myself as I KNOW it is just facial hair and I would hate it if he didn't find me attractive anymore for some stupid physical reason. He has even joined a beard forum (a beard board) where he and a bunch of other guys post pics of themselves and support and encourage each other's beard growth!!!!

Shouldn't I just get over it??? I feel like I am being unreasonable...but I hate that I can't see his beautiful face anymore and that he has changed so much and I hate that I don't find him attractive like this.sad

DeafLeopard Mon 21-Jan-13 11:33:57

What Merry said.

A beard is more of a turn-off than Y fronts

LadyHarrietdeSpook Mon 21-Jan-13 11:05:29

I was trying to link to a photo of Joaquin Phoenix - another case of Man Gone Bad with Beard.

Could you cope with a 'light beard' ? I quite like Giles C's and wouldn't mind at all if DH went for something like that.

What a funny hobby! Beard Boards. I love it! (But I can see why you wouldn't!!)

VikingLady Mon 21-Jan-13 10:15:44

Clean shaven or stubble now grin

VikingLady Mon 21-Jan-13 10:15:20

I told DH that kissing him with a beard was like kissing my dad and so I wouldn't be kissing him that much. Though of course it was his choice.....

LexiLoganberryBump Mon 21-Jan-13 09:36:17

I love my dh beard, althought it is a neat well kept short stubble one, he does shave it off every so often just to freshen up his face and he looks really weird, without it his face looks really big, that sounds terrible doesn't it.

I don't like bushy beards, but my dh wouldn't of kept it if he knew I hated it.

You have my sympathy... my DP has grown a disgusting bushy moustache over the past year. He looks like my dad. HUGE turn off.

I've gone from dropping hints to referring to it as a monstrosity. I can't kiss him, it's horrible. We haven't kissed for about a year!

He's gone from being a tattooed, handsome bass player - to a hairy, pipe smoking clone of my dad!

cheeseandpineapple Mon 21-Jan-13 08:14:58

Hoping this links directly...

cheeseandpineapple Mon 21-Jan-13 08:13:04

Maybe he's inspired by Richard Armitage more than you think..

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 04:58:37

DH grew a tache once. It made him look like a used-car salesman.
He grew a goatee once - it made him look gay.
Then he went the whole hog and grew a beard - he looked like David Bellamy but without the matching hair.

I coped with the tache, it amused me.
I hated the goatee (so did he)
I couldn't stand the beard, but luckily he shaved it off after a few days of hot July weather (he'd grown it while in Australia, in winter, and we had a hot July when he came over to visit) grin

I sympathise, OP - your DH is being a bit selfish because it's not just about him, is it - and it's not something he can do nothing about either. DH now tends to not shave every day, and I don't like the stubble because it grates; but he won't shave more just because I say so. I can live with that - but if he insisted on being stubbly all the time I'd be a bit pissed off with him.

I like beards on some men though, they can look very attractive. Just not on DH (perpendicular-to-the-skin bristly hair growth)

mrscumberbatch Sun 20-Jan-13 22:14:24

You can't compare gnarly fingernails to a beard.

Having a beard doesn't affect your ability to wipe your arse.... gnarly fingernails do!

SminkoPinko Sun 20-Jan-13 22:03:31

That Jack Passion beard is disgusting. [vomit] I once had training from someone with extreme fingernails which she never cut. They were about a foot long, curling in hideous spirals and vile in the same way as a full facial beard.

mrscumberbatch Sun 20-Jan-13 21:49:58

Jack Passion

Seems to be every man's beardy pinup. It's all very odd.

mrscumberbatch Sun 20-Jan-13 21:48:32

My DP participates in the Beard and Moustache Championships. It's serious stuff!!

He is also brown of hair and ginger of beard. I like the way he looks- but I couldn't bear the way that it felt on my face.

So.... miracle product reveal time: beardwash and conditioner. It's apparently formulated specially for beards and gets rid of the pubic feeling and leaves it shiny and bouncy lol.

Has worked wonders here OP, so at least if he won't abandon the beard get him to tame it!!!

comelywenchlywoo Sun 20-Jan-13 21:09:28

oh cross posts OP - I see our DHs are indeed alike!

He watches youtube vids of beards? shock He needs help wink

P.s him watching beardy vids is nothing like me googling Emilia Fox last night to see her not at all......

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 20-Jan-13 21:07:20

Jeremy Piven is on now as Mr Selfridge for all you fellow beard lovers smile

comelywenchlywoo Sun 20-Jan-13 21:05:45

I like DH's beard. When he shaves it off he looks like he's twelve and stubbles me to death. When he has a beard it's soft and manly (if that's possible).
When he was working on the boats for six weeks he came back rather captain birdseye (but brown/ginger), but when it's trimmed neatish it's hot!

I feel for you OP, there's no easy option. If you were a bloke saying you no longer found your missus attractive as she'd put on weight I'd be horrified, but on the otherhand you can't help how you feel. Shame you can't do a course on "learning to live with beards" or "beard appreciation - part one"
FYI I wouldn't bother not shaving until he shaves if I were you. Does anyone's DH really care if she's shaved her legs or not as long as he's getting some? Maybe that's just my DH blush

SplitHeadGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 21:03:39

Wow everyone thank you so much for all the great replies!!! I was laughing out loud at them - it cheered me up no end!! smile

I have decided to take the advice and tell him at the first real opportunity that I just CANNOT like the beard. More than that - I loathe, detest and abhor it!! I hate that it is so wiry and orange (he has beautiful shiny conker-brown head on his head yet his beard is JUST like pubes like a poster said!!).

I was thinking about not shaving and letting myself go a bit haha, and seeing what he said...but going by past history, he never seems to think I look bad even when I DO. I wish I was like him that way. sad

I think the most irritating part for me is that he is doing this NOW, after years of knowing each other, and it is out of the blue and I had no idea he ever wanted to do this and change himself. I just want him back how he was.

The thing is, I sometimes do like beards (on older men with broad sort of faces) and made the mistake of telling him that - but his looks shocking!!

He even has a 'beardspiration' (as he calls it) - a singer called Michael McDonald. He sits watching his videos on Youtube, admiring his beard!!!!! It's crazy!!

expatinscotland Sun 20-Jan-13 20:50:32

Gross. No, I don't do facial hair on men.

milkandribena Sun 20-Jan-13 20:26:55

I really don't like beards. Tell him OP just tell him

Now I love stubble, just love it but never ever a beard

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 20-Jan-13 19:57:09

gross, all those bits of food stuck in it. Withdraw favours until it has gone...or LTB (sorry, couldn't resist!) wink
I hope he gets rid of it soon.

SminkoPinko Sun 20-Jan-13 19:40:34

Full on father christmas type beards in any colour are utterly horrible and wrong. It shouldn't be a matter of his face his choice either. Faces can be seen be everyone and pogonophobia is rife so it is a public health issue. He must shave it off.

Lueji Sun 20-Jan-13 19:32:09

Does he look like this?

You can send him my way. smile

Helgicita Sun 20-Jan-13 19:22:40

I love my DH's beard! I realise now that I have always been attracted to men with beards they seem more masculine somehow. His beard is rather unruly at times, it looks better when he's given it a trim, and he's got a bit of grey in it now too but phwoooorr he's gorgeous. He had it when I met him, at the age of 22 so I've never known him clean shaven. The reason for the beard: Why shave if you don't have to!

aquashiv Sun 20-Jan-13 17:40:10

I would say there is something comforting about a beard - a scarf for the chin. I would let him get on with it you can hire him out next December.

thegreylady Sun 20-Jan-13 16:05:42

My dh has a big bushy white beard and I love it smile
At Christmas small children think he is santa in mufti !

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