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To HATE my husband's thick orange beard???

(133 Posts)
SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 19:44:25

My husband has grown a really thick beard that covers half his face and completely covers his mouth. He has gone from being gorgeous (like a young Richard Armitage) to looking like a scruffy, unkempt pensioner who has had a really hard life!

I told him weeks ago (stubble stage) that as it was his face, he could of course grow a beard, whatever he wanted and I would support him. BUT....I hadn't counted on how it has affected my physical feelings about him. I find him unattractive and strange to look at, like I don't know him. sad I miss the face I fell in love with.

He is a lot grumpier now too and as he now looks older he has started to ACT older and I wonder if losing his young looks (he could easily get them back if he shaved that damn thing off his face) has made him lose his young personality.

I am cross with myself as I KNOW it is just facial hair and I would hate it if he didn't find me attractive anymore for some stupid physical reason. He has even joined a beard forum (a beard board) where he and a bunch of other guys post pics of themselves and support and encourage each other's beard growth!!!!

Shouldn't I just get over it??? I feel like I am being unreasonable...but I hate that I can't see his beautiful face anymore and that he has changed so much and I hate that I don't find him attractive like this.sad

Stinkyminkymoo Sun 20-Jan-13 09:41:32

My mother always said never trust a man with a beard.

Yorkshire ripper
Harold shipman
Mr twit

Bet there are more! Still, they are creepy, and unpleasant.
look what happens when beards go bad

<sobs at Hugh Jackman>

Lavenderhoney Sun 20-Jan-13 09:48:22

Really he goes on beard forums? I never knew there was such a thing! Much sympathy as I don't mind a bit of stubble but not beardy and long plus the stroking thing would make me cringe. Dh has to shave as the dc won't kiss him otherwise and any bedroom activity is a distant memory.

How orange is it? I don't know what to suggest. Could he shave it off for charity? Have you lo that might get nits and they get in his beard?

Idreamofafullnightssleep Sun 20-Jan-13 09:49:17

I refuse to go anywhere near my Dh when he has a clean shave! When I kiss him it feels like I am having an affair and all wrong! I love his stubble and it suits him.

We came to an agreement he keeps his goatee and I keep my hair long (not a problem for me as I look hideous with short hair).

ppeatfruit Sun 20-Jan-13 10:13:44

I remember when DH grew his beard it was to hide his double chin!!!! he thinks no one notices it but it is less obvious thoughgrin The beard IS kept carefully trimmed and short and suits him. I'm used to it!!!

But big, long, red and bushy NOOOO shock YADNBU

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:18:06

Ginger beard = red flag. Every time.

Leave the bastard.

pictish Sun 20-Jan-13 10:21:18

I love my dh's beard!! It's all grizzly and phoooowaaaarrrr!!!


Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:23:35


We'll be shortly moving this thread to the Bullying section. Peace and love.

ppeatfruit Sun 20-Jan-13 10:27:09

I'm not being gingist I'd hate any long, bushy unkempt beard whatever colour grin

TheRatsTheRats Sun 20-Jan-13 10:32:25

I LOVES it!!

So much softer, no scratching. Awesome :D

moondog Sun 20-Jan-13 10:38:51

Ah Quote,I am laughing so hard that my dh (now beardless thanks to my prolonged jiggery pokery protest boycott) is asking what I am reading and he is two rooms away.

Split, one sees an awful lot of orange beards in Muslim countries. When the chaps have been to Mecca they often colour them to signal this pilgrimage has been completed.

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:45:24

Peace and Love Theme.
And this is dedicated to the OP.

moondog Sun 20-Jan-13 10:46:08

<guffaw> at Pan.
God, you don't have a beard do you?

McNewPants2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 10:57:29

I hate it when DH is not shaven, he looks like a HoBo.

sparklekitty Sun 20-Jan-13 11:21:39

I generally hate beards, however, my dh grew one a few years ago as part of movember and I realised he looks hot with facial hair. His mum hate it and makes comments whenever we see her.

He has to keep it tidy and not too long coz of his job but I think it makes him look even more handsome. Facial hair doesnt suit everyone though

ChouetteMouette Sun 20-Jan-13 11:43:39

I love my DH's beard...and hate it when he shaves it off! I tend to find men more attractive if they have a beard or stubble.

hoarseoldfrog Sun 20-Jan-13 11:50:34

I am a beard enthusiast. OH shaved his off for Movember and I couldn't even look him in the face or kiss him, was like having a stranger in the house. It has stayed since whoop whoop!

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 11:58:58

moondog - no I don't but I see where the attraction thing comes from - 20 to 30 yrs was quite the hirsute - but on separation from a 'difficult' relationship, I shaved it off, which she said helped her as I looked so different to the chap she knew. Clean ever since.

<boy do I EVER want to hold that Andy Murray down with a cut throat and do away with his bumfluff>

PessaryPam Sun 20-Jan-13 12:15:08

I loathe beards and I really feel for the OP.

Always makes me think of this chap and his like.

racingheart Sun 20-Jan-13 12:38:04

Op - tell him. Just as he has the right to grow whatever he wants on his face, he also has the right to know what turns his wife on and off. Just tell him you find beards physically and sexually repulsive, and though it's his right to have one, it's your right to be turned on and off by whatever works for you.

Personally, they're a massive turn off. All the men in my dad's generation in our family have them, so I associate them with old blokes with fixed ideas.

Smellslikecatspee Sun 20-Jan-13 12:57:31

Another beard lover here.

OH has just shaved his off and I hate it, so I do get where you're coming from. It does make a big difference.

Talk to him

Slubberdegullion Sun 20-Jan-13 13:26:43

Aw OP, I feel for you. Beards are the marmite of the follicle world. Maybe you need to give it more time to make friends with the beard, you know like kids with food phobias. Take it on a picnic, spread jam on it, sniff it and feel it.

I'm in the beard camp myself (lover-of not owner-of). Could never go back to a smooth man. Beards add another element to fun-on-your-husbands-face. Love a nice big thick beard.

Slubberdegullion Sun 20-Jan-13 13:28:42

Fun-on-your-husband's-apostrophe-s-face that should be.

I do not have a cohort of bearded husbands, more's the pity.

LittleAbruzzenBear Sun 20-Jan-13 14:05:17

I don't know about beards, I was clicking on guilty food pleasures and ended up here. Beards are not my guilty food pleasure, that would be weird and wrong.

megglevache Sun 20-Jan-13 14:10:49

This is a strange one for me. When I was younger I went out with a very hot boy who was in a rock group and his stubbly effort was divine...I have a thing for men with nice beards actually and admire them greatly (Brad Pitt's overgrow nasty I don't like but when men are starting to go a bit grey and grow out stubble Matt LeBlanc, George Clooney etc...phrooooar

OTOH if my dh grew one I'd run a mile.....his movember almost flayed 20 layers of skin off my could knit with a strand of his beard if I grew my hair on my legs and he told me he fancied me better smooth I'd shave.

Splitheadgirl, I misread the guy who you said your dh resembled and Googled john armitage instead of Richard....hahahahahaha- please do the same, you may look at your bearded dh in a different light!

megglevache Sun 20-Jan-13 14:13:13

SHG's dh now

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