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To accept even though I'm not willing to give?

(267 Posts)
StickEmUp Sat 19-Jan-13 19:33:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sydlexic Sat 19-Jan-13 19:36:26

YANBU if it would cause you too much distress or fainting. Hopefully you do not just take in all areas of your life.

DumSpiroSpero Sat 19-Jan-13 19:37:39

Can only speak for myself, but if I was able to give blood (I can't for medical reasons) - I would be happy for it to go to whoever needed it whether or not they also donated. TBH it's not something I would even have thought about it had I been able to donate.

MrsBW Sat 19-Jan-13 19:38:39

I give blood.

I don't do it on condition that only people that donate, receive my blood.

No - it's not unethical.

DieWilde13 Sat 19-Jan-13 19:39:06

You can just not donate, you know.
I think being squeamish is a bit of a cheap excuse, though. You might as well say you can't be bothered.
I don't particularly enjoy giving blood, I just do it because my dad is alive because of some very generous stranger donating. I also donate because I am selfish: if anything ever happens to me or dh/dcs, I want there to be blood for them.

MrsMcEnroe Sat 19-Jan-13 19:39:16

That's OK OP. It is your blood. You get to decide what you do with it.

I am sure others will feel differently, particularly those who have needed blood transfusions to survive. But their feelings don't negate yours; and I'm sure that most blood donations are given without any conditions attached!

MrsBW Sat 19-Jan-13 19:39:34

And by the way - you're doing a very good thing being on the donor register and making sure your family are aware of your wishes, so they don't override.

berri Sat 19-Jan-13 19:41:16

Maybe make a donation to a blood charity as I'm sure they need funds for all their equipment etc as well as the blood?

ZooAnimals Sat 19-Jan-13 19:41:17


It's a good thing to do and if you can get over your squeamishness then do go and give blood, but it's fine if you don't want to.

greenpostit Sat 19-Jan-13 19:41:37

I'm not sure. There are so many of us who can't give blood for medical reasons (me included although I have given blood in the past) that it seems a shame that people who medically could don't donate. That said, if it is going to cause you that much stress and anxiety, then perhaps you do actually fall into the category of unable to donate on medical grounds.

greenpostit Sat 19-Jan-13 19:43:23

Oh and yanbu to accept blood in future. It's for everyone regardless of anything - even murderers in prison! So you need not feel bad accepting.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 19-Jan-13 19:45:15

No, YANBU. You can 'give' in other ways.

AKissIsNotAContract Sat 19-Jan-13 19:47:05

I can't donate as I've received blood transfusions as a child.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 19-Jan-13 19:47:53

I think being squeamish is a bit of a cheap excuse, though. You might as well say you can't be bothered. Not true. DH passes out EVERY TIME he has an injection or blood taken. Nurse books him an 3/4 hour slot so he can wake up recover.

CommanderShepard Sat 19-Jan-13 19:49:38

They won't take it from anyone who faints or is in distress anyway.

elliejjtiny Sat 19-Jan-13 19:50:42

YANBU. I can't give blood because I have rubbish veins and it would be a waste of my/their time (blood tests are a nightmare and I am waiting to find out when I will be sent for the 7th attempt at getting my pregnancy booking bloods). I used to volunteer to serve the tea and biscuits to the people giving blood when I was in st john ambulance so I feel like I contributed a bit.

Nivet Sat 19-Jan-13 19:52:05

I think the nurses in the donor teams would rather you didn't try to donate if you are truly squeamish.

I donate blood all the time, I don't mind needles and I like a lie down and a cup of tea grin I couldn't give a flying fuck who gets my blood. Donors or non-donors.

If it helps I'll do the next pint in your honour?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 19-Jan-13 19:52:26

I don't give blood, it makes me ill for about a week!

I understand how you feel.

Although my friend was turned down once because he was gay so I think they're quite picky anyway.

I'm not sure what the criteria are, you may not even be allowed to.

Don't feel bad.

StickEmUp Sat 19-Jan-13 19:56:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 19-Jan-13 19:58:54


As you have said,you give in other ways.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 19-Jan-13 20:04:11

I can't give blood, but if I could I'd look at the bigger picture.
We have had so many posters on here that have had dying children and if Id been able to have that small prick in my arm I'd have done it.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 19-Jan-13 20:07:54

I can't give blood, but if I could I'd look at the bigger picture.
We have had so many posters on here that have had dying children and if Id been able to have that small prick in my arm I'd have done it.

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jan-13 20:13:32

I give blood. I'm squeamish and hate needles. I really do. I have to tell the phlebotomist, over and over. Every single time.

My daughter died of cancer. She was barely 9. I can't tell you how much she hated needles. Even with the creams and sprays, she would scream the most heart-rending screams you could ever hear and have to be held down. But she had to do it. All those finger pricks and cannulas and central line and such. My heart died every single time a needle went into that child.

So I keep going, every quarter - going next Thursday and hope they don't turn me down because I was in the US over Xmas into first week in January - because without the donors who gave so much blood to my child she would have been dead in days rather than the 7 months and 29 days we got with her.

I can't say you are being unreasonable, but I wish there were more blood donors out there for the thousands of children with cancer who benefit from donations every single day.

StickEmUp Sat 19-Jan-13 20:15:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jan-13 20:17:33

I take some photos of her along now, and just turn away, and think of her and all the little ones we met in her unit, the corridors echoing with their screams sometimes at night, from whatever ailed them as side effect of their wretched disease.

Strong? Brave? They had no choice. 'Can a man be brave is he is afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave.'

I understand some people have phobias.

I wish there were a better way to get blood out of suitable donors. But there isn't.

So off I go taking very deep breaths and my photos of her.

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