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to find the kids annoying when I've had them all day?

(232 Posts)
BlackMaryJanes Sat 19-Jan-13 14:12:19

I'm a SAHM. DH leaves for work at 7am and arrives back home at 6pm. Up until recently DH would take the kids to the supermarket for an hour when he got home in every evening to give me a break. An absolute lifeline for me. Now, he doesn't want to do that anymore. During our argument I said to him that after having the kids all day, I find them annoying. To which he responded, "Do you hate motherhood that much?!"

So, AIBU to find them annoying after having them all day? Does this mean I 'hate motherhood'? By the end of the day I feel touched-out, exhausted, irritable and in need of some breathing space. The kids are 2.5 and 12 months. I'm still BFing the 12 month old.

JeeanieYuss Sat 19-Jan-13 14:14:25

Whats he meant to do at the supermarket every night for an hour?
Couldn't you just have a break upstsairs for a bit?

katiecubs Sat 19-Jan-13 14:16:31

Gosh no - they can be really annoying!!

Get your DH to try it!

usualsuspect Sat 19-Jan-13 14:16:36

He takes them to the supermarket every night?

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 19-Jan-13 14:17:12

Black I find my daughter annoying sometimes, i love her to bits, shes my heart and soul, but shes a PITA, i dont hate motherhood, sometimes you need time a way. Its understand that you get fed up, we all do sometimes dont feel so bad.

landofsoapandglory Sat 19-Jan-13 14:17:14

WTF was he meant to do with a baby and a toddler in a supermarket for an hour every evening?hmm.

It is tiring looking after DC all day, but why does he have to take the out every night?

usualsuspect Sat 19-Jan-13 14:17:28

YANBU to find your kids annoying though grin

thebody Sat 19-Jan-13 14:17:37

Well I couldn't stomach going to the supermarket every night. How boring for the 3 of them.

Just get him to take over the bed time story, run a bath and pour a large glass of wine, light candles and add bubbles.

I know this wont help at all but they won't be little for long so hang on in there.

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Sat 19-Jan-13 14:17:58

That must cost a fortune! Yanbu though, kids can be amazingly irritating after a whole day.

How old are they?

Fairylea Sat 19-Jan-13 14:18:11

Nope. I feel the same.

But I don't think it's reasonable to expect your dh to take them to the supermarket every night when he's been working and out of the house for 11 hours!

Can't he do bedtime and bath and you go for a walk ?

usualsuspect Sat 19-Jan-13 14:18:24

Can't he do bath and bedtime to give you a break?

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 19-Jan-13 14:18:41

Why not shut yourself away in your bedroom for an hour.

FirstTimeForEverything Sat 19-Jan-13 14:18:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mine are 9m and 2.3, I dont think YABU to want an hour to yourself in the evening, plus I would imagine your DH like to spend some time with them before they go to bed?
But making them go out is probably a bit much grin

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Sat 19-Jan-13 14:19:35

Oh god sorry I see how old they are! Hand them to him when he gets home and have a break.

If he has been at work all day then that can be his quality time with them.

lljkk Sat 19-Jan-13 14:20:07


That's what baths are invented for. Sure, after an entire day they're very irritating but it's not sensible for them to go out every night - it's dark a d cold and frankly the supermarkets a bit crap every day.

Headphones and a tv programme on the computer/kindle will also give you a break.

ginmakesitallok Sat 19-Jan-13 14:22:25

Of course yanbu to need a bit of time to yourself, but yabu to expect him to take the dc out every day, like others have said can't he just do bath/bed? o y and my kids drive me bonkers sometimes too if I've had them all day.

impty Sat 19-Jan-13 14:24:41


It gets easier as they get older, though.

MammyKaz Sat 19-Jan-13 14:24:54

Agree YABU to expect them to leave the house every night, but YANBU to be fed up after a full day with them. I love DD but man she can push all my buttons - unfortunately DH is rarely home before bedtime so I'm in it till she's in the land of nod. But when he is then he plays, does bath & milk & tbh I'm happy just cooking dinner in peace.
<dons 50's style pinny>

goldenlula Sat 19-Jan-13 14:25:35

YANBU to find the children annoying sometimes (maybe not every night though) but Yabu to expect your dh to remove them from the house each evening to take them to the supermarket. He could entertain them in one room while you have a break in another room, or both work together to get them to bed then you can have a break in the evening. Or you could go for a walk or to the shop.

gordyslovesheep Sat 19-Jan-13 14:29:58

yanbu to find them annoying - that is fairly normal

yabu to expect him to take them to the super market every night - can he not just do bath time etc while you watch TV for an hour?

Fakebook Sat 19-Jan-13 14:34:21

Yanbu, but really, sending them to the supermarket EVERY night is not the answer to your problem. It must be crap for your DH too. Known fact: children hate supermarkets!

Why can't you just relax by yourself upstairs or sometimes go out somewhere when he gets in? Surely you want to leave the house by yourself too?

nickelbabe Sat 19-Jan-13 14:37:55


having to be the entertainer, carer, chef, cleaner-upper etc for the same two people 24 hours a day every single day is exhausting mentally. and yes, annoying.
because you never get a break.

I don't think he should necessarily take them out every night though
What he should do is take over the childcare for at least one hour - basically, he should look after them, sort out their wind down and bedtime routine, change them etc, and give yo ua break.

I have DD (so, one 13-mo) every single day, and when DH gets in from work at about 2/3pm, I make him take her - I make him change her and take her away from me while he makes the sandwiches.
and then he does most of the nappies for the rest of the day.

By the time he gets in at lunchtime my mind is frazzled

PandaNot Sat 19-Jan-13 14:39:11

YANBU, but I can't imagine why he would have to go to the supermarket every night! My DH does the bath, story, bed bit of the day when he comes in because he's not here for the getting ready for school bit of the day. I sit down with a cuppa and watch the news etc or disappear to our bedroom and read for a bit. I wouldn't make them leave the house.

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