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lovely sleepover but parent hasn't turned up to collect kid

(138 Posts)
bringnbuy Sat 19-Jan-13 11:33:41

really hacked off. dd had two friends over for a sleepover. i picked them up from school, took them to pizza express for supper even though couldn't afford it really but thought it would be nicer than me cooking for them (as wimpy wasn't open due to snow), up for hours having a lovely time. invite clearly said COLLECT 10:30am, other kid was just picked up, a bit late but fine. no sign of other mum, over an hour late. i sent a plite text hour hour ago, no response. dh is hiding upstairs as had enough, you know how it is, after a while you have had enough of kids arsing around/watching kids tv etc. we have to go out which is why my invite clearly said 10:30, really pissed off, the mum might not turn up for hours, i asked her dd who said 'this afternoon', perhaps she thinks we are a useful creche

bringnbuy Sat 19-Jan-13 17:48:36

and, that is really depressing. i understand needing space and if you are good friends with someone then to ask a favour is different, but to ask someone you barely know to have your kid for a few days is bloody awful. i feel really sorry for the kid. i've had a shite day really, didn't do the things i needed to and dd hasn't done any of her bloody homework of which she has loads. 70 dd has never been there before but they have only been friends for about 3/4 months, you know how kids are, they change their 'best' friends the way i change my undies. i will have her over again one half term as i don't think it fair on the girl to stop her having dd as a friend just because her mum is flaky or whatever it is she is. i still can't believe i was stood there in the snow with her dd holding one hand and her sleeping bag in the other. what a rotten scene. still, all's well that ends well. many different ways to bring up your child, noone knows what goes on behind closed doors. i know one women who when dd was younger and had birthday parties at our house, everyone else would drop their child off and then leave, she would come in, take her coat off and stay even though i didn't really know (or like) her, really awkward. i had to make boody uncomfortable conversation with her/feel i had to entertain her the whole time instead of other things. she lived nearby so could have easily gone home.

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 18:55:53

Just thought I would post to say this sort of non-parenting is more common than you think. We have one more sleeping over tonight than planned as a parent has failed to come home.

Cheeryble Sat 19-Jan-13 19:14:20

It doesn't stop, either. I regularly find myself stepping over the bodies of teenage ds's friends sleeping on the sitting room floor, and almost universally it's because their parents have chucked them out, or they've had some massive row with them, or the parents aren't speaking to each other and the kids have had enough, or variations on all that. One poor lad does it because his parents are regularly pissed and objectionable. I mainly thank my stars that ds doesn't feel the need to escape from us in the same way.

bringnbuy Sat 19-Jan-13 19:42:12

missmarple i thought my thing was bad enough. you have someone literally staying the night? what does the parent say?/have they called you?

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 19:54:41

bringnbuy - in our case the 'D'F has failed to show at home. My DD was having one girl to stay and asked if the younger sister could stay as she didnt want to wait alone to see if her F would turn up.

We had plenty of food and we have space and bedding so not a practical problem. This is the second time in the space of a fortnight that we have found ourselves unexpectedly hosting one or other of these girls. I am starting to suspect that we are being used as childcare.

They are all lower secondary school age so more capable of dealing with changed situations but this is not ideal.

bringnbuy Sat 19-Jan-13 20:02:16

missm sounds grim, feel sorry for the children. some grown ups are real stinkers sad

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 20:30:06

bringnbuy, Cheeryble - these situations, yours and mine make you realise just how chaotic some young people's lives are.

MmeGuillotine Sun 20-Jan-13 20:29:57

I was one of those children when I was growing up. I think I spent over half my time as a teenager and beyond sleeping over at friends' houses because my grandparents had either beaten me up or thrown me out or both.

I still feel the most immense gratitude and affection for the friends' parents who put up with me and will pay it forward without question if any of my own children's friends ever need our help.

2littlemonkeys Mon 21-Jan-13 09:31:18

What time did she turn up?

bringnbuy Mon 21-Jan-13 10:14:44

Mme i hear where you are coming from but this girl wasn't at me because she was seeking refuge. i have seen her over the years in the school playground/local high street with her ma/brother & sister & father, they seem like a nice/ordinary family. the little girl is lovely, doesn't seem unhappy/unloved and her father is a really nice person, often had long chats with him. i think they are just laid back/bit airhead ish and just didn't give much thought to it/thought it would be ok if she spent the day with us. 2little - she didn't, i had to take her dd home two hours later. never mind. all in the past now, these things happen

MmeGuillotine Mon 21-Jan-13 10:32:40

Oh no, I was replying to MissMarplesMaid and Cheeryble up thread. I wasn't implying that there was any such scenario going on in your situation.

pigletmania Mon 21-Jan-13 11:12:39

Tats good op glad she was in. A bi cheeky, the other parent understood the message, Mabey dh conveniently forgot, so se could get some stuff done.

Pigsmummy Mon 21-Jan-13 11:26:02

I know that it is passive aggressive but if you have the girl over for a sleepover in future why not arrange to drop her off? You have a car and it will avoid the issue, hopefully next time it won't be snowy.

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