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lovely sleepover but parent hasn't turned up to collect kid

(138 Posts)
bringnbuy Sat 19-Jan-13 11:33:41

really hacked off. dd had two friends over for a sleepover. i picked them up from school, took them to pizza express for supper even though couldn't afford it really but thought it would be nicer than me cooking for them (as wimpy wasn't open due to snow), up for hours having a lovely time. invite clearly said COLLECT 10:30am, other kid was just picked up, a bit late but fine. no sign of other mum, over an hour late. i sent a plite text hour hour ago, no response. dh is hiding upstairs as had enough, you know how it is, after a while you have had enough of kids arsing around/watching kids tv etc. we have to go out which is why my invite clearly said 10:30, really pissed off, the mum might not turn up for hours, i asked her dd who said 'this afternoon', perhaps she thinks we are a useful creche

drownangels Sat 19-Jan-13 12:04:49

I think that they have either
1 lost the invite and assumed you will be dropping off
2 expecting the child to make their own way home if its not far away
3 overslept.

I don't think there is a big drama behind this, just a misunderstanding.

louschmoo Sat 19-Jan-13 12:05:32

It's easy for me to say but there is NO reason for you to feel awkward. You don't need to make a big deal of it with the child - just 'oh, mum's not got her phone on. I'll take you home then' and when you see the mum say something like 'We've got to go out I'm afraid, I did say 10.30. What happened?'. Chances are SHE will then be feeling awkward - as she should. Or she'll have some sort of excuse and you can decide from there if she had good reason or not to go awol.

bigTillyMint Sat 19-Jan-13 12:06:07

It is really bad manners of the girls parents.

If the DC are all happily playing and it is not causing a problem, you could just wait for them to appear, but if you need to do something without her, then you could walk her back and cross your fingers they are in!

fluffyraggies Sat 19-Jan-13 12:06:31

I hope you're on your way now OP smile

I bet they ARE in!

This is taking this piss, btw, leaving your kid with someone till mid-day after sleepover. Unless it's pre arranged that is.

Different when they're older and can get themselves from A to B. My eldest DDs best mate has been known to pop in on Friday after school and not go home till 10pm Sunday! But that's fine with me and her DM and they walk themselves round the village anyway.

MrsMiniversCharlady Sat 19-Jan-13 12:08:47

Just take her home. And then (and I truly mean this nicely) maybe think about investigating whether some kind of counselling/CBT could help you deal with perfectly simple situations in a more assertive way.

cloudpuff Sat 19-Jan-13 12:08:57

I can't believe the Mum hasn't given you a working contact number for her, I usually write it all on some paper and put in dds bag as an extra precaution.

OP I am the same as you and feel awkward pulling someone up about their behaviour, you end up feeling in the wrong, but this is what happens when you a re like that, people take the piss and take advantage.

Please please when you take her home do not say sorry to her parents, I can imagine you saying sorry but... or sorry she could have stayed... becuase you ar enot at fault here.

difficultpickle Sat 19-Jan-13 12:11:25

That's appalling. I would have thought she would have dropped you a note, emailed you to confirm details. I'm not sure I'd be very polite when I saw her. It is completely unfair that you have to walk her child home as she can't be bothered to collect on time or give you a contact phone number.

StuntGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 12:15:20

Good god op, wet is the word! I hope you're on your way round to the parents house right now. You're not doing anything wrong/rude/weird/unreasonable/whatever you're worrying it is.

Clarabumps Sat 19-Jan-13 12:15:32

marks place for later.

drownangels Sat 19-Jan-13 12:17:04

Everyone get off your high horses until you know why the parents haven't picked up. If they are taking the piss that will toughen you up for next time and you know exactly what to expect but anything could have happened. It could be a misunderstanding.

Fenton Sat 19-Jan-13 12:17:11

That it appalling bad manners, - when the children go anywhere with anyone else the very first question I ask is 'when would you like me to collect ?'

Unless some emergency has arisen this is simply rude.

Nancy66 Sat 19-Jan-13 12:20:48

May not be the case here but it's not that uncommon for parents to 'lose track of time' when someone else is looking after their kid.

Last year DS had a birthday party in a church hall on a Saturday - invite clearly stated the party would finish at 5pm and parents were also reminded verbally at drop off time. One mum didnt collect her twins until 8pm. We had to take them home with us and ring around all the other mums to try and get a phone number for missing parent to tell her that her kids were at our house.

DeafLeopard Sat 19-Jan-13 12:21:58

"i am over due and hormones are RIPE. long walk in the snow though"

Overdue as in pregnant? If so you should certainly not be walking icy streets to return a child home. Rude other parents.

Fenton Sat 19-Jan-13 12:22:01

It's still bad manners to 'lose track of time' when someone has clearly stated a time to collect.

drownangels Sat 19-Jan-13 12:23:32

No ones perfect Fenton!

TigerFeet Sat 19-Jan-13 12:25:35

I know a couple of parents like this. One offered to have dd1 for a sleepover, she would collect her from ours after tea at 6.30. At 7.00 no show so I rang her and she was having a family meal out 20 odd miles away shock. She finally got to us well after 8, poor dd1 was 7yo and was flagging by then. She's well known for being late all the time. Thankfully dd1 and the other girl aren't really that friendly any more.

Hope you managed to drop her off OK and got a suitable apology.

Nanny0gg Sat 19-Jan-13 12:25:40

drownangels not leaving contact details is pretty poor though, don't you think?
The OP, pregnant or not, shouldn't have to traipse round to their house to find out what's going on.

FobblyWoof Sat 19-Jan-13 12:26:56

Unless there's a genuine reason for the parents not picking the child up then it's incredibly rude. I hope someone was in OP

Fenton Sat 19-Jan-13 12:27:27

No, clearly not hmm

difficultpickle Sat 19-Jan-13 12:27:28

How on earth do you lose track of time when your child is at someone else's house overnight? confused Same for a party. It is down to manners. Some people have them and others don't. The fact that the mother changed her phone number but didn't bother to tell the OP is inexcusable imvho.

BlueberryHill Sat 19-Jan-13 12:27:51

Nancy, no one forgets to pick up twins and lose track of time. The quiet house and being able to sit down in peace are a sure giveaway. (I'd love to be able to do it though).

Fenton Sat 19-Jan-13 12:29:53

Very good point Blueberry grin

They would be enjoying every extra deliberately stolen minute I shouldn't wonder.

TigerFeet Sat 19-Jan-13 12:30:31

Losing track of time is being perhaps 15 mins or half an hour late. I've been guilty of it myself and so have many of the parents of invitees to our house. I don't have a problem with it, we would always factor late pick ups into timings for anything. Hours though... with no contact... well that's thoughtless really. Or selfish. Or taking the piss.

wewereherefirst Sat 19-Jan-13 12:31:15

'I forgot the time' is possibly excusable for 5-10mins late. Not for an hour or more. That's just inexcusable.

LeeCoakley Sat 19-Jan-13 12:32:36

How old are they? Just wondering if parents actually knew there was an official invite and assumed dd would just walk home or be dropped off at some point. Bit odd not leaving a contact no, there could be any sort of emergency. Anyway, at least you know why they're not answering the texts!

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