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to feel like my ex-childminder is in the wrong or am I?

(35 Posts)
YouGoGlenCoCo Fri 18-Jan-13 23:44:45

I have two children, I work part-time so they go to a childminder Wednesday through to Friday.

My DS(3) has been going there for 2 years and my DD(8m) has only been going for 2 weeks.

I have never had a problem with DS however my childminder kept making comments about my DD - such as she pinches the other children. I have personally never witnessed her pinch any other child (we do a mums coffee morning every Monday, friends and neighbours have lots of young small children, she has never pinched her older brother)

There were many comments made. The final straw happened when I came to pick her up last week and the childminder said that DD is a lot of trouble and stealing and snatching toys off the other children. Erm ... she's 8mo has only just got the hang of crawling, like all babies if they see something like that they will go over and have a look at it, she doesn't have the ability to snatch and obviously wouldn't understand the concept of sharing at that age.

Anyway this was building up over 2 weeks and it was upsetting me and I felt the best thing to do was find a new childminder so I spoke to the childminder and said that I would be finding someone else. She was quite annoyed to say the least but I agree that I would give her a months notice and she would be paid for that time.

This week she hasn't even come to the door when I dropped the children off as she couldn't face me, it was her dh that opened the door to me.

Anyway, today I go to pick them up and she asked to have a word with me, and she tells me that i am making a huge mistake as my DS has made friends here and is settled and that now she would not be able to afford a holiday now etc.

aibu to think that this is emotional blackmail? and that even if I am being a bit precious, ultimately I should leave my children with someone I am comfortable with?

Ifyoucantsayanythingnice Sat 19-Jan-13 08:40:49

YANBU. She is.

Find a nice new one

Mimishimi Sat 19-Jan-13 09:26:44

YANBU at all. You've given notice and that's all you are obliged to do for her. Really, what did she think would come of catty comments about your eight month old. Her holiday is none of your concern.

Cuddlyrunner Sat 19-Jan-13 09:32:25

Please tell me you are not leaving your children with this woman again, you won't be able to relax and it doesn't sound right.

Cherriesarelovely Sat 19-Jan-13 09:33:36

YADNBU! How ridiculous that your childminder is saying these things about an 8 month old child! I would definitely stick with the decision to move your DCs. She has no right to try to make you feel bad about it.

SuffolkNWhat Sat 19-Jan-13 09:35:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMM Sat 19-Jan-13 09:42:10

I am a CM and mind an 8 month old who takes any toys he likes the look of. It's curiosity .. not snatching.

ChunkyChicken Sat 19-Jan-13 10:02:53

Even giving the CM the benefit of the doubt & maybe thinking she wasn't moaning about your DD, but merely commenting, it is totally within your rights to end the contract as and when you like, within the terms etc so giving the required notice (as you have done). The only exception would be if you'd be chopping & changing CM, but clearly you haven't if your DS has been there for 2yrs!!

I would want to get a new one on the basis of the emotional blackmail tbh. So YANBU.

One question, out of curiosity, did you actually tell her why you were ending the contract?

financialwizard Sat 19-Jan-13 10:12:10


I would be out of there as fast as I could.

insancerre Sat 19-Jan-13 10:14:46

Find another childminder. One that knows about children.
Is she even qualified?

OldBagWantsNewBag Sat 19-Jan-13 10:36:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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