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To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

(172 Posts)
Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:34:08

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:56:44

Ok, for those who bet their last penny...yes I confess this is a reverse AIBU!

I thought DP was being childish about this, but I know mumsnetters are often keener to flame men's behaviour than women's so I thought I'd put it to you the other way round.

Now I have my answer. I'm off to show this thread to him! Thanks ladies...

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 18-Jan-13 16:56:51

Of course you are unreasonable. You can celebrate your birthday the weekend before or after. Why wouldn't you do that? You sound very childish and entitled.

secretscwirrels Fri 18-Jan-13 16:57:26

OP is sulking in the corner now.

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 18-Jan-13 16:57:43

X post.

Deux Fri 18-Jan-13 16:57:54

YABU. What makes you so special? Good grief, get a grip.

If it was your brother's baby getting christened and your DP's birthday, what would you expect him to do?

secretscwirrels Fri 18-Jan-13 16:58:12

oops x post

TheYamiOfYawn Fri 18-Jan-13 16:58:15

This has to be a reverse AIBU, surely.

How can that possibly be reasonable?

OurPlanetNeptune Fri 18-Jan-13 16:59:07

What a stupid excuse for a reverse IABU. They are flipping crap. YABU for simply not being upfront.

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 16:59:46


I hope he's ready for tons more people to come on, not read your 2nd post, and rant long into the night...

QOD Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:09

I totally understand, it's a big thing becoming 13


LadyHarrietdeSpook Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:25

YABU totally insane.

Unfortunately, I don't think it's a reverse AIBU, there are plenty of adults out there who are this extraordinarily self absorbed and immature.

My own mother caused mayhem on the day of her grand-daughter's christening - it was US Mother's Day, dontcha know, and the day never 'stopped' being about DD and about her instead. She actually tore a strip off of us after hosting a party for 60 people and spending four hours driving home.

Please don't behave this way. Please. Unless you really enjoy creating unhappiness and animosity amongst family members.

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:37

Am now grin that I called him princessy.

MammaTJ Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:40

So, OP, it is your nephew and your DPs birthday?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:01:32

Yes, it is my nephew and my DPs birthday.

catwisd Fri 18-Jan-13 17:01:57

so who's birthday is it and who is getting christened?

catwisd Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:18

sorry, it was answered already. how old is your DP?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:45


FeltOverlooked Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:53

YABU and also mean and petty and immature.

Softlysoftly Fri 18-Jan-13 17:05:16

Wow don't make him a DH

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 17:07:19

Ooh. Is he 35 now or going to be 35?

I'm 34, I consider 35 to be a bit of a big one. sad That may just be me.

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 17:07:47

Dammit! Late to the party as per usual. And I had a witty retort too! Will save it for another time!
But yes, HIBU.

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:08:38

He's going to be 35.

FeltOverlooked Fri 18-Jan-13 17:09:18

Sorry, your DP is being unreasonable, mean, petty and immature.

KnightBusRider Fri 18-Jan-13 17:09:19


Your DP needs to grow the hell up, frankly. What an idiot.

mercibucket Fri 18-Jan-13 17:12:21

Yup, time to trade up I think, op

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