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To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

(172 Posts)
Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:34:08

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

OpheliasWeepingWillow Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:04

Are you 6?


abbierhodes Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:08

I think the OP's getting a raw deal here. I mean, you only turn 14 once, don't you? grin

DawnOfTheDee Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:19

Is it your first birthday? If not then YABU.

FireOverBabylon Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:54

You get a birthday every year. Your DN get's one Christinening ever. Which do you really think your DH should go to?

just go out with him during the day on the Saturday, before you go to work, if it's really too much for you to share your day with a tiny baby.

ENormaSnob Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:55

Is it a big birthday ending in a 0? Or your 21st?

Softlysoftly Fri 18-Jan-13 16:40:01

Sorry is this a wind up?

SandStorm Fri 18-Jan-13 16:40:02

I've just had to postpone my dd's birthday party because of the weather. She's a child and is fine with a delay so I'm sure you can deal with it. And if you can't, it's about time you learnt.

FeckOffCup Fri 18-Jan-13 16:40:25

YABVU, I would be unimpressed if a family member hadn't come to my DD's christening because it was their partner's birthday and they wanted to get pissed the night before. You sound rather childish and self centred.

Convert Fri 18-Jan-13 16:40:28

To be brutally honest, you are a grown up. Stop fucking sulking about your 'Birthday weekend'. Why can't you have a takeaway on sunday evening and have a nice night in together. Or do something a different day. You are not 5.

JammySplodger Fri 18-Jan-13 16:40:35

YABU, and sound like hard work!

AMumInScotland Fri 18-Jan-13 16:41:04

If you had made a concrete plan that couldn't be changed, then I'd think you had a point. But a vague "we'll do something nice" doesn't trump a specific invitation to something from family.

Believeing in God is a red herring in this - it is the importance of family and rites of passage, not the religious aspect of baptism that is primary for many families.

You can have a nice day out together going to the baptism surely? Or have a meal out or whatever on another day.

NotLinda Fri 18-Jan-13 16:41:43

winter, i'm sorry but yabvvu. i was a bit annoyed when my sil had her 'wedding reception camping weekend' on my bday, even though the wedding was 2 months prior to that ... so i can understand mild irritation at the loss of your bday celebration but its shockingly childish and spoilt to expect dp to prioritise a bday!

TheFallenMadonna Fri 18-Jan-13 16:42:34

I do get the fuss about birthdays, and find a kit of the comments on threads like this very joyless.

However, christenings trump birthdays. Of course he should go to his nephew's christening, and if you are his partner, then you should go too I think.

MrsAmaretto Fri 18-Jan-13 16:42:37


minibmw2010 Fri 18-Jan-13 16:42:50

Very immature that should have said, not Dry smile

KnightBusRider Fri 18-Jan-13 16:43:26


Yes, YABU. Very.

GaryBarlowsPants Fri 18-Jan-13 16:44:02

Sorry but YABU. You can celebrate your birthday the weekend before or after.

izzyishappilybusy Fri 18-Jan-13 16:44:20

Yab ridiculous

Cadmum Fri 18-Jan-13 16:44:37

You have a birthday every year and can celebrate any day. Dh's nephew will be christened once. I think you see where I am going with this...

Celebrate your birthday the following weekend with friends.

sooperdooper Fri 18-Jan-13 16:46:18

Don't be ridiculous, I hope this is a reverse AIBU

LaCiccolina Fri 18-Jan-13 16:46:37

Ur or dh belief in god or not is irrelevant to the point. They plainly have some sort of affinity for it, their choice. Also how old are u this year? It sounds a very young petulant comment? Can't ur birthday be celebrated on a nearby date? U can still have cards/presents can't u that morning?! I think dh is being grown up and right here. Bit bemused by ur reaction which seems very jealous? Yabu I'm afraid. Shame I thought at first I was going to agree with you!

McKayz Fri 18-Jan-13 16:47:00


BooCanary Fri 18-Jan-13 16:47:07

If this is NOT a reverse AIBU, then you are being incredibly immature. HTH.

EarlyInTheMorning Fri 18-Jan-13 16:47:14

YABVU and you sound like a petulant quack

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Fri 18-Jan-13 16:47:46

Hahahahaha! Is it your 6th birthday??! YABU X 1,000.

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