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To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

(172 Posts)
Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:34:08

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

Catsdontcare Fri 18-Jan-13 16:35:18

Grow up!

DaddyPigsSecretAdmirer Fri 18-Jan-13 16:36:04

This isn't going to end well!!

BartletForTeamGB Fri 18-Jan-13 16:36:23

Gosh, I just don't understand adults getting all huffy about their birthdays.


GladbagsGold Fri 18-Jan-13 16:36:32


KatoPotato Fri 18-Jan-13 16:36:35

Had you actually made set plans or just 'something nice' Wouldn't going to the Christening be very nice? - even if you don't believe in God?

How long have you been together?

oh, YABU

YABU. Surprised you need to ask.

Pootles2010 Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:10

Nope sorry christening is one-off event, yours is just a birthday (assume not a 'big' one?) so not as big a deal.

I'd be pretty mad if dbil didn't go to ds's naming day, and wouldn't dream of missing a nephew's Christening.

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:16

YABCompletelyU, sorry. You can celebrate the night before, have a champagne breakfast in bed on the morning of your birthday, go out the next week... You have a birthday every year, a christening is a one off and a big family occasion.

GladbagsGold Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:16

Doh I have just realised... have I fallen for a reverse AIBU?

Trills Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:22


People are either:

too young to read a calendar, and so won't know if their birthday is celebrated on a different day

old enough to read a calendar and also old enough to know that birthdays are sometimes celebrated on different days because it is more convenient

AliceWChild Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:28

Yes you are.

OTheYuleManatee Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:32


How many christenings does a baby have?

And how many birthdays will you have?

I don't blame you for feeling a bit miffed but still. Suck it up.

RunnerHasbeen Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:37

Have you actually made any plans, told friends, booked a restaurant? If not then you are being childish, just have a birthday thing the following weekend.

Bananapickle Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:44

YABU - his nephew only gets christened once and you're an adult who could celebrate your birthday with your DH at any other time.
Your attitude is bizarre!

neontetra Fri 18-Jan-13 16:37:53

Can't you do something together on another weekend? Easier than moving the christening!

noisytoys Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:01

Of course YABU

and quite childish / selfish

2anddone Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:09

Yes yabtu unless its a special birthday (18, 21, 30,etc) or you are a young child hmm I take it you don't have dc yet? When you do you will be lucky to have a whole day to celebrate your birthday! Accept that its your dn christening and that you are an adult who can go out for dinner the next day or out the following weekend.

MrsGeologist Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:12

YABU, do something another weekend. Your DP's nephew will only be Christened once, your birthday comes round every year.

minibmw2010 Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:17

Don't be pathetic, you sound. Dry immature. sad

DaddyPigsSecretAdmirer Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:25

I think you're right Gladbags!

LynetteScavo Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:37


Unless it's your 18th birthday, and from the tone of the OP, I suspect it might be.

drjohnsonscat Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:38

blimey. Do people over the age of ten actually make birthday plans? I literally have forgotten how old I am, such is the significance of my birthday. Sorry but you sound a bit daft about this.

EuphemiaLennox Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:44

YABU as well as bonkers and self absorbed.

HollyBerryBush Fri 18-Jan-13 16:38:56


You will have lots of birthdays but your DN will only have one christening.

TBH, as you are a P and not a W, and therefore easier to extricate from, and you were kicking up this sort of fuss about a child - and being irrationally jealous - You'd find your bags packed and on the doorstep if he were me grin.

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