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Would you judge us as parents if your child got a crap birthday present at a party?

(415 Posts)
M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:06:12

Me and DH are skint. Our two boys have a party invitation each for Sunday. Only handed out on Monday this week.
6yr old Is going to a day out with birthday boys parents on the morning with other kids in ds class.
4yr old is going to a local scout hut in the afternoon

We are skint. Would you judge us as parents if we gave a box of Maltesers as presents?

It's all we can afford at the moment. I just don't want the parents thinking were cheap skates :-(

Fakebook Fri 18-Jan-13 10:15:34

No I wouldn't, because my dd absolutely loves maltesers. She has been known to eat boxes full by herself over a few days (bad mother). I would just be happy that you came and joined in the special day.

elizaregina Fri 18-Jan-13 10:15:45


another really good one is TK Maxx, they often do great books for vert little - you could get a good book for a pound in thier clearance section which always seems to be running...and I personally like books as presents esp with all plastic crap and yes it is obscene isnt it - 30 odd presents! Also everyone loves choclate!

Llareggub Fri 18-Jan-13 10:15:48

I wouldn't judge at all. I few children came to my DS's birthday party without presents and whilst I noticed, my DS didn't. My boys would be thrilled with chocolate of any description!

I'd also add that whilst most people would probably assume that I am very comfortably off I am not, so I don't judge others at all. Times are hard for most people at the moment and I would assume that the majority of people are very aware and don't judge as a result. I hope they enjoy the parties.

Arcticwaffle Fri 18-Jan-13 10:16:42

My dc still love sweets and chocolates above all other things, dd2 got given a box of sweets once for her 6th birthday and I'm sure it was her favourite present.

Lafaminute Fri 18-Jan-13 10:17:26

Aldi have small chalk boards with a box of chalks & a wiper-thingumy for £1 or so at the moment now THAT would entertain my 10 year old and 3 year old for hours!!

BarbarianMum Fri 18-Jan-13 10:18:15

Not at all. And my kids would think that's a BRILLIANT present. smile

lovesmileandlaugh Fri 18-Jan-13 10:18:22

I would have no problem.
Although I had a girl turn up for a party who had to come and say, 'my Mum can't afford a present'. I really felt that the parents could have said it to us, rather than make the child aware of it. But something like a pack of felt tips or a cheap football goes down well with any kid, and also gives your kid something to hand over. Even a handmade card is lovely.
I know it is ungrateful, but we have loads of making stuff that we've been given at parties stacked up in the cupboard for a rainy day, that have been there a long time!
I also have no problem in 'recycling' presents either!

M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:18:59

I have in times not sent them to parties because of not being able to afford a gift hmm but ds1 has 2 invites from his 2 best friends so he can't not go.

Jins Fri 18-Jan-13 10:19:13

I always preferred disposable presents like sweets and chocolate. We had mountains of plastic crap and DS hated books as gifts because it felt like punishment (dyslexic)

M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:19:18

Oh and yes I have RSVP'd wink

Maryz Fri 18-Jan-13 10:19:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flobbadobs Fri 18-Jan-13 10:21:59

I wouldn't judge. Especially as my DC's don't like malteasers but me and DH do
Honestly, don't worry about how much you spend, get thee to the pound shop!
Or do what I did once, get a comic (one with s free gift) and some sweets and wrap them up. Nobody judged me.

CMOTDibbler Fri 18-Jan-13 10:23:12

My ds would be delighted with a box of malteasers, and I'd be grateful for anything he got

handsandknees Fri 18-Jan-13 10:24:18

I would say it's fine. Last birthday DS's best friend gave him all his old Pokemon cards that he didn't want anymore. The mum came to me to apologise and said he insisted that's what DS would like but she wanted to give him some money too, but DS was delighted with the cards alone.

JustAHolyFool Fri 18-Jan-13 10:26:15

God, what do kids get as presents these days? A box of maltesers were standard in my day.

Fakebook Fri 18-Jan-13 10:26:39

I agree with elizaregina, tkmaxx is really good for cheap crafty presents. Also, The Works have really good books for a really cheap price too. I bought 6 books in a pack for £2 last September and we've given them all away as presents for birthday parties over the past few months.

perceptionreality Fri 18-Jan-13 10:27:35

Not at all! You invite people to the party because you want their company, not because you're expecting a present. Most children love maltesers anyway.

M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:29:02

I feel daft for feeling stupid but the kids who's party's he is off too are of the well off variety lol

Crinkle77 Fri 18-Jan-13 10:29:45

YANBU but it wouldn't hurt to have a quick look in the pound shops or B&M as others have suggested.

insanityscratching Fri 18-Jan-13 10:30:53

I would hate to think that any of my dd's friends didn't come to her party because their parents were worried about a gift. Dd doesn't need or want a gift but does want her friends there. It wouldn't bother us at all if you came without a gift but a box of malteasers would be very much appreciated grin.

Maryz Fri 18-Jan-13 10:31:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveToWearHeels Fri 18-Jan-13 10:31:11

no I would judge at all, in my experience my duaghter just love having a party with her friends and opening the presents once open has little interest and gets back to playing. Something wrapped is all the birthday child needs really.

HaveToWearHeels Fri 18-Jan-13 10:31:35

that should have been "would NOT judge"

ArbitraryUsername Fri 18-Jan-13 10:31:54

I wouldn't care if you gave a present or not. As others are said, a party invite is a request for your/your kids' company not some kind of extortion. It's much, much better to go without a present, or with a very small present, than to avoid the party because you can't bring a fancy gift.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Fri 18-Jan-13 10:35:28

I would think - how lovely you came!!!

I would hate for anyone to turn down a party invite as they felt they couldn't afford a present!!!

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