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To get really jarred off with Club Members and other Wazzocks

(13 Posts)
BonzoDooDah Thu 17-Jan-13 23:44:42

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I hates them ... hates them all! CLODS (love the name)

I met the tossiest of tossers the other day as they were in the middle lane on a nearly empty motorway.. I'd had enough so I flashed them to move over .... and surprisingly they did. I overtook ... then...



[and breathe]

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 17-Jan-13 23:30:18

When I lived in the Highlands, I did a lot of cursing at the tourists driving very slowly. I can understand that they don't know the roads like locals do and so they drive slower. But, I could clearly see their faces in profile as they took in the scenery.... at 35 miles per hour.

These people NEVER pull over to let anybody by!

jjuice Thu 17-Jan-13 23:07:03

And hand on horn?

PrincessOfChina Thu 17-Jan-13 23:00:25

I believe it's not classed as undertaking as long as you only maintain your speed and don't accelerate iyswim. So I do that.

And then sometimes I gesticulate wildly and glare.

jjuice Thu 17-Jan-13 22:56:14

But what if there is nothing else on the road how can you justify driving in the 3rd lane?

Chaos I love CLODS that's what I am going to call them from now on instead of the usual T word I have taken to using.

Poppy I too have headbutted the dash. how did they pass their tests?

I do understand busy motorways and why you wouldn't want to be stuck doing 55 but i just don't get it on a nearly empty motorway.

So what actually is the correct thing to do, as I have done all of them including the undertaking which really can't be right and I would get booked if seen by police so why are CLODS not being booked?

catgirl1976 Thu 17-Jan-13 22:53:45


Such people should not be permitted to travel and should be confined to their villages

They annoy me. I also cannot bear slow drivers

Clear motorway? Good conditions? 90 is the acceptable cruising speed. a number after 89

QueenStromba Thu 17-Jan-13 22:48:18

I also mostly drive in the middle lane on a motorway but in my defense those motorways are normally the M4 or the M25 where if you moved into the left hand lane you'd not be able to move back out and get stuck doing 55 for the next 10 miles.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Thu 17-Jan-13 22:44:48

I'm in that lane as I don't want to pull out to let others filter in and I'm not a lorry though I'm usually doing 75-80mph. I only use the inside lane if I want to leave the motorway or if for some reason I'm going slow (horse box/towing etc)

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 17-Jan-13 22:34:53

I may be in that club?

I am almost never on the left because I'm always going faster than the lorries. If there's a long gap, I move over there. But, there rarely is. I'm always moving faster. If someone comes up behind me, I will move over. More often, they overtake me on my right, anyway.

I have a bit of a lead foot, so I'm not going slow, at any rate.

PoppyWearer Thu 17-Jan-13 22:32:01


No word of a lie, DH knew someone who confessed to driving in the middle lane because she thought the right hand lane was for driving fast and the left lane for driving slow. She wanted to do neither <thumps head on dashboard>.

Top-class use of the word wazzocks, BTW.

CaptChaos Thu 17-Jan-13 22:28:09


People pay a lot of money for their membership of the Centre Lane Owner Drivers Society.

Did you not know that no one in the UK has ever seen snow before? It must be so exciting for them to see it after all these years of tropical temperatures. How can they be expected to drive in it? hmm

narmada Thu 17-Jan-13 22:21:41

No YADNBU and especially so because you have used the excellent term 'wazzocks' grin

jjuice Thu 17-Jan-13 21:10:16

You know "Middle Lane" club members.
It started as a bit annoying and I would swear a bit at my steering wheel but these days it gets right on my tits and it makes me want to scream...or rant on here.

Join motorway increase speed to 70 drive a couple of miles, there are 4 cars in front of me, when I say in front I mean in front to the right. What the actual fuck are they doing in the 3rd lane when there is NOTHING except me coming up behind them in the inside lane and the 2nd lane. Why? Just WHY?

I am pretty sure the highway code says drive in inside lane except when overtaking.

So. What is the correct thing to do? cross 3 lane to overtake said members? undertake them and also break highway code? slow down to the 65 they are driving? move out to the 3rd lane and flash light til they move?

Other wazzocks - the ones who drive at 14mph in the snow. when I say in the snow I mean the slightest smallest flakes that melt on contact and you dont even need windscreen wipers on. The road is gritted and clear not icy not snowy just a diddy bit wet. how are they going to drive when it actually snows?

AIBU to let this wind me up? It's a driving thread so dons hardhat

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