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To think I should get to have one nice thing without DH ruining it? (warning petty)

(95 Posts)
Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 20:16:21

DH is sulking with me nearly 24 hours later and I really dont want to apologise.

I am not spending money on myself at the moment as am on maternity leave with DS 10 weeks, so no new clothes. I was given vouchers for christmas for a very upmarket online store that I cannot normally afford. My old dressing gown was four years old, had a hole in it and was thin cotton so freezing for getting up in the night when the heating is off. I managed to find a lovely luxury one in the dregs of the sales at 50% off and it arrived yesterday. I hadn't worn it yet, but it is just so lovely and double layered but could be unisex.

Last night DH went out for drinks with people he used to work with and came home at midnight, kebab in hand, a little worse for wear. Obvs no problem with that. DS woke up at 3am and I was feeding him in bed. DH decided to get up and get himself a drink of water and offered to change DS when I had finished feeding. He came back in in my new dressing gown (his was next to it on the bathroom door) which was pulled stretched across his shoulders and as he reached over for DS, I heard it rip a bit. I asked him to take it off as he was ripping it and I didnt particularly want his beer sweaty naked self all over it. He got really cross and told me that I was being petty and selfish and took it off, scrunched it up and kicked it across the bedroom.

He wants me to apologise. I think I am entitled to have something new, without him ruining it before I have even worn it.

told you it was petty, but AIBU and should I apologise.

Chunkymumma Thu 17-Jan-13 20:48:48

YANBU What an annoying shithead! Don't apologise to him and keep it out of his way.

Dressing gown, sunglasses... He'll be wearing your undies next!

pictish Thu 17-Jan-13 20:49:22

You are NOT being unreasonable at all!
The stretching and ripping would piss me off, but not as much as his reaction at being asked not to!

He is being disrespectful. I'd be furious!

Jux Thu 17-Jan-13 20:50:50

What is he buying with his Amazon vouchers? Books? Break the spines, fold the corners, loosen some pages.

No don't really, but ask him whether you could do that, please, now before he reads them.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 20:56:06

Chunky smile, I had wondered if my OP sounded like DH was dying to wear all my clothes.

I think he was tired and just starting a hangover and grabbed the nearest one. Its not too girly, its a lovely double layered flannel one from Toast. Its just I feel like wearing one of his expensive suits to feed DS in, burping him on the shoulder and then going "but its just a stupid suit".

Pictish you are right, its not about the dressing gown, its about general disrespect, or at least that is how it feels.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 20:57:37

Jux he is saving up several Amazon vouchers to get an ipad.

PoppyWearer Thu 17-Jan-13 20:59:39

It's from Toast?!?!??


Softlysoftly Thu 17-Jan-13 21:01:16

He sounds a dick.

And exactly how much did he spend on drink? It isn't fucking cheap. Kji

NoelHeadbands Thu 17-Jan-13 21:03:24

Dear god you should at least be able to expect to have a dressing gown to yourself!


PleasePudding Thu 17-Jan-13 21:05:01


I totally think that marriage needs working at sometimes and forgiving stuff but not this kind of stuff. He's being a dick and needs to apologise and also understand why what he did is actually really mean and petty

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 17-Jan-13 21:11:21

After seeing their prices, your so not BU, if it had been a cheap tesco's one you probably wouldnt have been bothered.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 21:14:47

I wouldn't have minded about a cheap one from Tesco at all. It was a real treat (courtesy of my step mother who has lovely taste and no doubt chose the vouchers), but as I spend so much time in my dressing gown since having DS I wanted something lovely.

ChaoticintheNewYear Thu 17-Jan-13 21:16:29

YANBU He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 21:16:38

I dont begrudge him going out for a drink at all. Its the last thing I want to do myself at the moment, so dont mind that he has a night out. Unless he is going to come home and be an arse that is.

RuleBritannia Thu 17-Jan-13 21:17:05

You are quite right purrpurr. The OP's husband did the ripping so he should do the sewing. I stand corrected.

OxfordBags Thu 17-Jan-13 21:17:39

I'd date you, InNeedOfBrandy grin

HecateWhoopass Thu 17-Jan-13 21:21:04

I wouldn't be happy.

I mean, I'm all for sharing within a marriage grin but I draw the line at my bloody clothes!

If my husband ripped an item of my clothing, I'd expect a whoops, sorry, get yourself a new one.

Not to be told how selfish I am for daring to object to my stuff being ripped!

Tell me. Does he have this lovely share and share alike mentality for his own stuff?

For example, you put on his favourite jumper and stretch it out of shape. He's fine with that, yes? You can help yourself to anything that's his and if you wreck it through drunken fuckwittedness -he's fine, right?

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Thu 17-Jan-13 21:21:04

OoOH YANBU, I hate this - so you're being petty but he's not by kicking it across the room??! This sounds infuriating!

EnjoyResponsibly Thu 17-Jan-13 21:22:40

I would have killed him.

So actually your DH is quite a lucky bloke.

NotSoNervous Thu 17-Jan-13 21:22:48

YANBU what a jerk. I would make him replace it too

determinedma Thu 17-Jan-13 21:24:48

Its not the dressing gown per se though is it? Its the lack of respect for you and your stuff, for you as an individual with the right to own your own things. You are not his possession and your stuff is not his to damage.

AThingInYourLife Thu 17-Jan-13 21:25:52

He's being a total and utter dick to you.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 21:26:00

Well he isn't that precious about his stuff really, particularly clothes.

I admit I am, I like to keep things nicely and hate things to get scuffed or faded, but am prepared to put in the work to keep things nice (eg handwashing stuff to stop it from fading, protecting shoes and keeping them polished with shoe cream etc), which may sound a little crazy, but I dont buy much and like to keep what I do buy in a good condition.

LadyKinbote Thu 17-Jan-13 21:26:13

YANBU. I feel furious on your behalf! Might go and shout at DH for a bit grin

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 21:29:21

Hmm, I have a bit of a bad time keeping Kindles alive, am on my fourth one (last one broke when I fell down stairs carrying it, others have had similar ridiculous slapstick demises). DH goes ballistic if I as much as move his to make the bed or tidy up, and as for his precious iphone..... So not for clothes, but for his gadgets, yes definitely.

BillyBollyDandy Thu 17-Jan-13 21:32:55

I'd be worried about someone worse for wear changing a 10 week old baby as well tbh.

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