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To think I should get to have one nice thing without DH ruining it? (warning petty)

(95 Posts)
Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 20:16:21

DH is sulking with me nearly 24 hours later and I really dont want to apologise.

I am not spending money on myself at the moment as am on maternity leave with DS 10 weeks, so no new clothes. I was given vouchers for christmas for a very upmarket online store that I cannot normally afford. My old dressing gown was four years old, had a hole in it and was thin cotton so freezing for getting up in the night when the heating is off. I managed to find a lovely luxury one in the dregs of the sales at 50% off and it arrived yesterday. I hadn't worn it yet, but it is just so lovely and double layered but could be unisex.

Last night DH went out for drinks with people he used to work with and came home at midnight, kebab in hand, a little worse for wear. Obvs no problem with that. DS woke up at 3am and I was feeding him in bed. DH decided to get up and get himself a drink of water and offered to change DS when I had finished feeding. He came back in in my new dressing gown (his was next to it on the bathroom door) which was pulled stretched across his shoulders and as he reached over for DS, I heard it rip a bit. I asked him to take it off as he was ripping it and I didnt particularly want his beer sweaty naked self all over it. He got really cross and told me that I was being petty and selfish and took it off, scrunched it up and kicked it across the bedroom.

He wants me to apologise. I think I am entitled to have something new, without him ruining it before I have even worn it.

told you it was petty, but AIBU and should I apologise.

MammaTJ Thu 17-Jan-13 20:19:21

YANBU!! Oh, and I would apologise-when hell froze over!

hermioneweasley Thu 17-Jan-13 20:20:32

Of course you should be expect that all your possessions are treated with respect by your partner. It is his behaviour that is petty. And you've got a 10 week old baby?! He's a dick.

CloudsAndTrees Thu 17-Jan-13 20:20:58


But you could say your are sorry that you argued rather than saying you are sorry that you told him get out of your dressing gown.

Ihatemytoes Thu 17-Jan-13 20:21:16

No you're not. And no you shouldn't!!

GlitterySkulls Thu 17-Jan-13 20:21:18

he's being a petty dick- YANBU

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 17-Jan-13 20:22:16

Apologize for what? Did you curse and scream at him, or just rather crossly ask him not to rip your nice new robe?

Unless you tore him a new one, I'd say he's the one who owes an apology.

idococktailshedoesbeer Thu 17-Jan-13 20:22:52

I think he's behaving like an arse. If my DP ripped a lovely new possession of mine he'd be offering to buy me a new one.

tittytittyhanghang Thu 17-Jan-13 20:23:05

YANBU, if only for the fact that he was clearly too big for it and was ripping it.

myhandslooksoold Thu 17-Jan-13 20:25:42

YADNBU!!!! My jaw actually dropped when I read this. Poor you

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 17-Jan-13 20:25:57

I would rip his favourite shirt in front of him and tell him with a smile on my face that we are now even.

Disclaimer I am single for a reason

purrpurr Thu 17-Jan-13 20:25:57

Do not apologise. Show him the rip. Ask him for a replacement. Sort out now when you will be getting your night to go out on the piss, come back at 3am with a kebab and run about naked upstairs whilst he deals with the baby. You want to get that in the diary.

When was the last time he bought himself something?

sukysue Thu 17-Jan-13 20:27:29

yanbu but it's awfully childish like you said and it just isn't worth holding onto it is it?

purrpurr Thu 17-Jan-13 20:27:50

InNeed - I second this suggestion. This would be the route I'd go down if my husband was being an immature twit.

RuleBritannia Thu 17-Jan-13 20:27:55

Do you know how to sew a seam together?

purrpurr Thu 17-Jan-13 20:28:41

Er sorry typo there RuleBritannia, does HE know how to sew a seam together?

(Why should she repair it?)

happynewmind Thu 17-Jan-13 20:33:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Thu 17-Jan-13 20:37:21

Don't sweat the small stuff. Yes, he was mean and uncaring and drunk but in the grand scheme of things, is a dressing gown worth more than your marriage?

I say this as I have been married over 25 years, I am sure I would have felt like you in the early years of marriage grin.

ENormaSnob Thu 17-Jan-13 20:40:53


I actually think he's being really mean.

Lambzig Thu 17-Jan-13 20:43:07

It doesnt seem to be actually ripped where you can see as far as I can see so maybe an internal seam.

I didnt argue, I just said a bit crossly "take my dressing gown off, wear your own, you are ripping it" and ignored his resulting tantrum.

Its just having worn maternity clothes for months and then having to squeeze myself into old stuff (doesnt really fit yet), I was luxuriating in having something new and a bit glam and from a posh shop.

Neither of us are buying new clothes (except for work for him as he started a new job but thats fair enough), but I asked my DParents for a voucher for clothes for christmas and he asked them for amazon vouchers.

He just thinks it doesnt matter as its just a stupid dressing gown and that I was being super incredibly petty and a bitch and its just stuff around the house.

Am even more annoyed that he is sulking like my 2 year old when I had forgotten about it until he came back from work in a mood.

He was like this when I asked him not to wear my new YSL sunglasses (TK Maxx find) as he would stretch them (previously had stretched my sunglasses). I am a 5'3" shrimp and he is 6'2" and built like a rugby player with a huge head, so it seems logical to me that he would stretch/rip my stuff if he pinches it.

ToomuchWaternotWine Thu 17-Jan-13 20:44:14

It's not petty when you rarely get nice things to yourself, and want to keep them that way. He damaged your lovely new thing, HE should apologise for behaving that way - kicked it across the bedroom??? Bet if you did that with his favourite new thing the tables would be turned!

And yes I've been married a while too but NO I don't think you should just "accept" arsey selfish behaviour for a quiet life or you end up living with a fuckwit man child who doesn't treat you with any respect.

starfishmummy Thu 17-Jan-13 20:45:30


MrsCampbellBlack Thu 17-Jan-13 20:46:36

God - I'd have been furious if I were you. Thankfully DH knows not to touch any of my stuff.

Your DH should be the one apologising.

2rebecca Thu 17-Jan-13 20:48:31

He sounds quite unpleasant. Why didn't he just put his on? There was no need for him to put your dressing gown on, my 6 foot 2 husband has never tried to wear my dressing gown (I have occasionally worn his but only if his is on top of mine on the peg). He was being unpleasant and a bit strange for wearing yours. Why did he even want to wear it and why hasn't he got over himself by now? He was in the wrong and behaved like a child.

ENormaSnob Thu 17-Jan-13 20:48:43

He is a selfish arse hole.

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