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To still be hurt by a friend by this silly thing?

(32 Posts)
LibraryMum8 Thu 17-Jan-13 00:13:21

This is my first posting asking if AIBU, so please go easy on me!

When my good friend had her second baby, as a gesture I made her a meal and took it to her house. It was Mexican, she and her family adore Mexican food. I made one for myself, and I made one for her and froze it (it froze well) because I wasn't seeing her for a few days. I thought she could pop it in the freezer for a nice dinner when she needed something.

1) They love Mexican. 2) They ate at our house all the time, they love our food 3) I'm a good cook she knew the meal was going to be good 4) We have a clean house. It wasn't cooked in an unclean house 5) I wasn't giving her old food. I made it just the day before, and she knew it. I didn't pull something out of my freezer and give it to her.

SO a week goes by, no mention of the meal. Two weeks, Three weeks, a month. SIX months goes by. I never mention it, but am mystified why she never baked that meal for them!

Finally, one of the next times I'm over (Over six months from when I got it), she rummages in her freezer and says, "I might as well give this back to you, we never ate it". I was mortified! So she give me back my (glass pan and all) and no other explanation.

I was too embarrassed/mortified/wondering what the hell was up to even comment. I just took the still foil wrapped up glass pan and threw it in my car. I never said I word.

AIBU? Is this weird? Why would she do this? Am I missing something?!!

Karoleann Thu 17-Jan-13 14:06:42

I don't think its a big deal either, she probably just remembered she had your dish and wanted to give it back whilst you were there.
I probably wouldn't have eaten something that someone else had given me either.

bulletwithbutterflywings Thu 17-Jan-13 12:10:43

Really? I would not have given this a second thought!

Andro Thu 17-Jan-13 12:02:01

Her manner of dealing with the situation was certainly missing a few manners - although new baby and bemused friends do sometimes go together!


SmethwickBelle Thu 17-Jan-13 11:59:48

I wouldn't think it was rude, just that she forgot about it. Broken sleep can make you forget all sorts of things and casseroles in the freezer probably don't feature highly on the list even if she was touched that you made it for her.

You do sound like a lovely chum to do something so thoughtful. I would have eaten it. grin

whois Thu 17-Jan-13 11:54:35

No don't get pissy about this, she is probably mortified she forgot about it.

New born baby, meal in the freezer, baby brain, totally forgets and comes across it months later...

I'm often thinking "wtf is THIS?!?" With rings in the freezer I've made and put in myself...

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Thu 17-Jan-13 11:53:30

I can understand you being a bit hurt but she probably just forgot about it. She probably stuck it in the freezer and has probably only just found it.

I buy things with the intentions of eating it sometime that week, only to find it months later under a pile of pea and fishfingers.

I am sure she didn't mean to offend you so don't waste anymore energy thinking about it. With a new baby, the last thing on her mind would have been her food menu for the week.

BertieBotts Thu 17-Jan-13 11:52:30

I wouldn't find it rude if someone did this to me I don't think confused I wouldn't do it to someone else though.

<wonders if sense of rudeness is off>

ViviPru Thu 17-Jan-13 11:50:21

Good grief people are odd aren't they.

pigletmania Thu 17-Jan-13 11:44:22

Very rude and I would not cook for her again. If I forgot it in te freezer I would chuck the contents in the bin, say thanks very much and give you ack your pan

valiumredhead Thu 17-Jan-13 09:58:28

Rude! <said in the voice of Miranda> shock

Crinkle77 Thu 17-Jan-13 09:56:24

That does sound a bit strange. Perhaps she just forgot it was there especially if she has a big freezer with lots of stuff in it maybe it just got a load of other stuff plonked on top of it. But if I were your friend I would have been too embarrassed to say anything at the time. If she did not want to eat it as it had been in the freezer for so long the polite thing to do would be to defrost it, give you the plate back and just pretend that she ate it ages ago but forgot to give you the dish back

Jins Thu 17-Jan-13 09:51:37

If it had been me I would probably have been sorted for meals for the next few days and I'd have stuck it in the freezer. Then I would have forgotten about it.

Gomez Thu 17-Jan-13 09:42:21

Not such a big deal, you were there she remembered the dish and gave it back to you. Probably thinking as good friends you wouldn't mind. I wouldn't - it was a nice gesture on your part which I am sure she appreciated. The fact they didn't eat doesn't negate your kindness or her appreciation at the thought.

As an aside I probably wouldn't have eaten it either. I don't freeze meals and then reheat so anything like that would languish at the back of my freezer too. I do it with stuff all the time soups, stews etc. freeze then promise I will do something with them. They invariably got binned 6/12 months later.

Agent64 Thu 17-Jan-13 09:33:07

I'm with Sparkle - if someone had done that for me, the food wouldn't have reached the freezer.

I can understand you being hurt.

Loveweekends10 Thu 17-Jan-13 05:04:02

You sound nice. She sounds rude. Baby hormones don't make you behave like that.

SparkleSoiree Thu 17-Jan-13 04:39:07

If I were the recipient of a good cook's talent then I would have eaten it that night!

claraschu Thu 17-Jan-13 04:34:10

She sounds extremely rude, especially not even thanking and apologising profusely.
About the breastfeeding- I think that's a ridiculous explanation. Don't Mexican and Indian women breastfeed? They don't switch to a bland English diet in order to do it.

INeedThatForkOff Thu 17-Jan-13 04:33:57

Erm no, she's just rude. I loved being cooked for when both DCs were born, and gladly ate whatever we were given, even though not much of it was stuff I'd actually have chosen to cook. Apart from anything else, you'd paid for all the ingredients and that at the very least deserved her thanks.

LibraryMum8 Thu 17-Jan-13 03:55:42

Thank you all, I never thought of the bf thing...I'm wondering if that was it!! It seems like the only reasonable explanation!

Also it is very possible she thought that we would eat it if she returned it...that also seems very possible! Must give her slack with baby hormones.

OldBagWantsNewBag Thu 17-Jan-13 03:04:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kytti Thu 17-Jan-13 02:44:43

How strange. Why didn't she just find it, chuck it out if she didn't want it then lie to you about how great it was when she gave you the dish back? How bloody rude!

OldBagWantsNewBag Thu 17-Jan-13 02:25:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TidyDancer Thu 17-Jan-13 02:11:29

Oh, and YANBU!

TidyDancer Thu 17-Jan-13 02:11:08

Yes this is odd and rude.

If someone had been so thoughtful to my family when we'd just had a baby, but for whatever reason we ended up not being able to eat the meal, I would bloody lie about it! Even if it meant we had to throw the food away and hand back an empty dish! You'd say "thank you, it was delicious, sorry we hadn't got your dish back to any sooner" etc.

Your friend is very strange.

irishchic Thu 17-Jan-13 00:33:08

Thats just bloody rude actually. Your friend is pretty ignorant.

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