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To not share my job application form with a friend who wants the same job?

(42 Posts)
PenguinBear Wed 16-Jan-13 20:20:45

My friend wants to apply for the same job as me (in education) and has asked me to email her a copy of my form and covering letter.

I am reluctant to do this. I'm happy to give her a list of everything I covered etc but don't want her to have my application form. She is applying in the same area I work in and if I want to apply for another job it could end up as two of us sending out a near identical covering letter and person spec as I wouldn't know what bits she had used etc.

AIBU to not send it to her?

HecateWhoopass Sat 19-Jan-13 21:09:54

Why not just outline what you said? It's not like it damages you because you're not going for the same job. So say sorry, I don't have the application or covering letter any more, but afair, I said something about x, y and z

MarilynValentine Sat 19-Jan-13 21:03:52

Erm, Ibsen. That's about it for me on that topic....grin

That's a nicer story, takes the edge off the first a bit!

PureQuintessence Fri 18-Jan-13 18:44:02

Marilyn, yeah, I suppose you are right. I would love to name and shame, but I fear non of you would know of her. Unless you are heavily into Norwegian Contemporary and Classical Theatre and rather obscure film productions..... grin

But I will never forget the weekend she rang in sick to work and spent the entire weekend in her bedroom with a Russian Bouncer - I was visiting one of her flatmates for the weekend. She just came out to grab food and use the toilet. Good going girl!

Crinkle77 Fri 18-Jan-13 11:23:19

No way! Why should you do all the hard work then let her copy it?

MarilynValentine Fri 18-Jan-13 10:09:39

Thanks for clarifying that Quint. Maybe Verlaine, like me, really really wanted it to not be true because - it's beyond infuriating to think of the now successful actress having built her career on being such a complete bastard! She must have been deeply threatened by her friend's talent angry

Name and shame! Name and shame! grin

PureQuintessence Thu 17-Jan-13 12:25:25

It is a good story. And true.
I know getting into drama school in the UK is easy, and it is true that everybody can audition. This is probably why I have a handful of friends who went to London, only one got accepted at the RADA, but 3-4 went to the then Lee Strasberg near Holborn. Even non actors got in, later, people just generally involved in theater, or is it Theatre? (seems my spell checker is US and it keeps wanting to use US spelling) went there for a 6 months periods simply to understand the business from an acting perspective. Even my friend who did not manage to secure a place at Statens which was THE place to go in Norway if you want to be a stage actor at National level.

The Standing Ovation bit was poetic license, to cut a long story short, and make it a bit more interesting. wink

Just felt compelled to clarify as you felt the need to nitpick and pick my story apart.

VerlaineChasedRimbauds Thu 17-Jan-13 11:21:00


whilst it's a good story - that's not really how drama school auditions work (certainly not in the UK - though I'm guessing from your spelling of theater that you are in the US?). You can have more than one go (in subsequent years) and anyone can get an audition. I can see that if you saw a friend unexpectedly doing a speech they knew you had chosen that it would throw you a bit mind you!

You also definitely don't get standing ovations at drama school auditions grin (I really, really don't believe that happened) and although you may get a straight acceptance it would not be in front of other auditionees.

whois Thu 17-Jan-13 11:10:12


Tell her you'll help / review hers but you won't send your over.

Bellebois Thu 17-Jan-13 09:58:41

I am a teacher, and this happens a bit in international education, esp. when you know someone at a school where you want to apply. A little inside knowledge is a good thing, if you can get it...!

I have some key phrases which I use in my cover letter, which I think are personal to me and I don't give friends a copy of my letter.
However I am happy to give advice and positive criticism of an application/letter if someone asks. Perhaps do it this way -tell her you will read it over when she has completed it.

PureQuintessence Thu 17-Jan-13 08:27:34

hmm So, not as scandalous then?

CheCazzo Thu 17-Jan-13 07:45:35

So halfway through the thread you have completely changed the gist of the thing? What a waste of time for everyone who has contributed so far.

MarilynValentine Thu 17-Jan-13 07:36:05

Hmm yes that does change things. She's just asking for advice. Obviously don't send her any documents, just have a chat about what you covered and how you approached your application, perhaps.

If she is actually a friend?

ebersneezer Thu 17-Jan-13 00:11:21

I was going to say Yanbu but seeing as you're in a job and she's applying for similar then yabu a bit. If you don't want to pass over a digital document In case she copies then you could send her a list of what you covered and offer to proof read.

I hate the idea of writing covering letters and application forms, it's hard to know what tone to take and how much detail to give. I really wanted to ask to look at some being looked at by a team I sit close to, but I'm a contractor and it didn't feel right to ask.

SquinkiesRule Wed 16-Jan-13 23:53:37

If you already have a job why not tell her to fill her application and do her own letter and you will help make it better instead of her stealing your work.

SundaysGirl Wed 16-Jan-13 23:38:43

Hang on...this is a job you have had for ages and she wants a similar role? That does make it different. I would let her see it myself. But I would be thinking if she cant put together a decent application form herself FOR the job how good is she going to be AT the job?

EverybodysSnowyEyed Wed 16-Jan-13 22:25:53

well, well done for still having your job then!!

It sounds like you could help your friend, but giving her something to copy out isn't good for either of you. Also, a job application should always take into account the job you are applying for and the one she is applying for will be different in some ways

PenguinBear Wed 16-Jan-13 22:23:47

Thanks for the well done, although I can't accept it as it was many moons ago!! blush

EverybodysSnowyEyed Wed 16-Jan-13 22:13:51

And well done on getting the job!

EverybodysSnowyEyed Wed 16-Jan-13 22:13:27

That does make a difference!

I wouldn't send her your application and covering letter because it does need to be her own work, but talking through it with her wouldn't be so bad would it?

PenguinBear Wed 16-Jan-13 21:48:52

Thank you! Though I don't think I was clear enough in my op, I already have a job and she wants to apply for the same job in different schools!

I still hope you think I am not being unreasonable!

PureQuintessence Wed 16-Jan-13 21:48:07

Blardy hell, you want to "help her cheat" shock


I will tell you a true story.
When I was 20, in my circle of friends I had two young aspiring actresses. They had both been in films, theater productions, and wanted to apply for a highly coveted once in a life time application to a certain drama school. They practiced together. My best friend was doing a very heartfelt monologue, and her friend a comedy piece. Then the audition. Her friend first. Performed HER monologue. My friend was watching her friend on stage doing HER monologue. She got standing ovation and straight acceptance. She beamed at my friend, as she stumbled out on stage shell-shocked and unable to perform.

Guess who today is a very famous film and theater actress in my home country, and who has just about made a living doing school productions and obscure theater.

Dont show your hand, lady!

SquinkiesRule Wed 16-Jan-13 21:44:42

What a crazy request. I hop you didn't send it to her.

LeChatRouge Wed 16-Jan-13 21:41:45

How ridiculous. How can she ask you to do this? Please don't feel like you have to! If you really think you are applying for the same role, don't help her at all. It's not mean, imagine how you'll feel if she gets it and you don't!

Email back and say that now you've had a chance to think about it, you don't want to know what she's writing in hers and can't share yours either.

MsVestibule Wed 16-Jan-13 21:40:33

A very close friend and I once applied for the same job. It really wouldn't have crossed either of our minds to ask the other for help in completing the application form, let alone ask for a copy of it!

How old is she?

thegreylady Wed 16-Jan-13 21:33:27

blank form I meant of course

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