Ok. Here goes. DH is Type 1 diabetic and has been for a decade. When he was diagnosed he was 'chunky' but very fit: football two or three times a week, walked plenty, played badminton and swam. He was a 34 inch waist. He contracted a viral infection and subsequently was diagnosed with diabetes in his late 20s. He has always been relatively fit but had to be on top of his weight - he has a big frame. Upon diagnosis of diabetes he did no exercise for a year as his blood sugars were just too erratic.
Slowly he took up exercise sporadically only to drift in and out of it. In the process the pounds began to pile on. For a long time we worked at it together - healthy eating, walks, etc. However, there are now 3 DC and DH has slowly over a number of years become obese.
I am in despair about this. He cannot walk because his back and calf gets too sore. He won't swim (alone or with kids) as he is too self-conscious. He refuses Weight watchers or any other slimming class, insisting that he can do this himself. He refuses any kind of professional help.
He needs to get rid of abut 6 stone. I am fully committed to helping him achieve this but I am so so frustrated. He will not exercise and can barely make it to the park with us. He is also continuing to eat crap but tells me he isn't. It is the continual procrastination that worries me/depresses me and now makes me so angry.
I appreciate it isn't easy but now, in his early 40s, he needs to seriously wise up and realise that as a family we need him to be fit and healthy.
Two years ago he lost 2 stone following a low carb diet but has since put it all back on.
We had a blazing row about it last night and I don't know where else to turn. I can't talk to friends about it as I would feel incredibly disloyal to DH. But what can I do? How can I get him off the couch?
AIBU?
To want DH to get a grip and seriously shed the weight?
ali23 · 16/01/2013 19:30
My friend is in a very similar position.
Her DH is morbidly obese, but he does nothing to help himself. 10 years ago when they met, he was early thirties, 32-34 waist, fit, healthy and quite an attractive man. He's ex squaddie so was always quite active.
Fast forward 10 years, he now drives a hell of a distance to do his job, upwards of 4000 miles a week 
some weeks. He eats crap, takeaways every night, no breakfast unless he stops for a fry up at motorway services en route.
He's now maybe 8-10 stone overweight he looks twenty years older than he actually is (43), he sweats like a leaking sponge and shuffles like an old man as he can't walk properly - he waddles more than shuffles actually.
To cut to the chase, he is repulsive, his wife thins so, I think so and yet he is deaf to the comments and suggestions to take more exercise.
His wife is desperate to have back the man she married and has resorted to blazing rows to get him to listen, but to no avail. If he doesn't take action soon, i fear she will leave him as she is so worried about finding him dead after a massive heart attack.
She cannot understand why he won't do it for his DDs, and instead chooses to spend his nights in a hotel watching films or surfing the web, when he could make use of the very extensive gym facilities available to him.
Worse than this, is that he will bollock his wife around the block for treating their DDs to a McDonald's after their swimming lessons and he doesn't even see the irony. :(
So if a woman on here complains that her DH hates the fact that she's put on weight during the marriage, then most posters will respond that he's a bastard but it's ok for a wife to be angry about it?
M'kay then 
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