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AIBU to join PTA

(4 Posts)
DixieD Wed 16-Jan-13 08:07:25

DD started in a small local primary in September 2011. Its ethos is very much about parental involvement and parents have a large say in the running of the school (or the ones who get involved do). This is one of the reasons we picked the school.
It was always the plan that we would get involved. When she started last year I had a newborn so I didn't sign up for anything but DH got involved in a sub committee lobbying for a secondary school. There was a bit of work with that lst year which I helped him on, but so far this academic year there has been no meetings for it.
Anyway the PTA need a treasurer and I have provisionally said I will do it. DH is not happy. He feels that we have enough on and he doesnt want me doing anything that will eat into our spare time or require him to leave work early so I can attend meetings.
Until this October I was a SAHM. I am now back at work three days a week. I leave early in the morning so I can come home early in the evenings. This means DH has to get the three kids ready for the childminder. He still leaves at the same time but he gets up earlier and is a lot busier in the morning than he was. However he never has to leave work to be home for kids as I do that, so he continues to work his long days.
Besides from work and the kids, he goes to piano lessons once a week, so leaves work slightly early and once a week I go to aerobics so he leaves work about an hour early those days.
My problem is that if I sign up for this despite his objections he may refuse to accommadate the meetings on the grounds that I signed up for this knowing that he wasn't on board. Also if I have to work on the books (which I will) on evenings or weekends I can expect a lot of grumbling about eating into family time, especially as I put my foot down a couple of years ago and insisted he stop working at weekends except in exceptional circumstances.
I expect that the PTA will involve a meeting every month and maybe a couple of hours on the books per month. I don't think this is too much to ask. The school is lovely, a real inclusive, friendly atmosphere. This is largely because people are so invested in it and involved. I want to contribute to that. So AIBU to join PTA despite DHs objections?

Whatdoiknowanyway Wed 16-Jan-13 08:18:42

The question I asked myself when I was considering joining the PTA, school governors, club committee, whatever over the years was - who else will do this if I do not? What is it about my life that means I'm too busy/important/fragile to take on the kind of task that is needed to keep this facility running for the benefit of my family.

I've always worked and got to the stage where I began looking quizzically at the 'so busy' parents. I'd ask if they could take on a one off task, maybe an hour at an event we were all attending, and they'd explain that actually, they worked full time and when they were at school/club events they just wanted to have family time. It completely bypassed them that the events had been planned and organised by full time working parents.

Hard if your partner does not support you though. I was trying to encourage a friend to become a school governor. She would have been brilliant. Her husband played squash 2 nights a week. He told her she could do it (!) but that she would have to arrange babysitters as he would not look after the children whilst she was at meetings.

Don't kid yourself it will be just a few hours work though. It's always more. But I think it is worth it when I look at the formidable benefits my children have had from the organisations I have supported.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 16-Jan-13 08:23:50

You could always get involved as a committee member which would mean less regular time doing books and the extra time you put in will just be before the big fundraisers like Christmas and summer fayres.

I think he has a point if it is going to eat into family time a lot, especially if you have told him he can't do extras for now.

When you join the PTA, you could always suggest that the meetings are held earlier in the day. My school does this by holding meetings after school time, and school staff keep hold of the children and run a crèche for little ones.

DixieD Wed 16-Jan-13 08:32:33

I could get involved as a committee member but they really need a treasurer and I am an accountant so I feel I should help them out on this.

Also I haven't told DH he cant do extras, just that he can't work at weekends as he had got into the habit of working every weekend for a couple of hours each day and it was having a detrimental impact on everyone including him.

I think I will be well able to manage the books in a couple of hours a month, especially as a friend of mine also on the committee has said she will help me. I would be joining the committee just to fufil function of treasurer so dont envisage getting involved in a lot of the other stuff.

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