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AIBU?

To have picked my 4 year old up 15 minutes early from school?

125 replies

Hanspannerly · 14/01/2013 17:02

I live in the north east, it is extremely snowy today. At lunch time there was abut 4 inches and road completely covered and it was snowing heavily. I live at the top of a large hill at quite high altitude, school is at bottom approx 1 mile away. It is also about -1 today. I do not have a 4x4

I rang the school to ask if I could pick DS up 15 minutes early as I could not get my car out, it was stuck in the snow. Friend who has a 4x4 offered to take me and 2 yr old DD to school to pick up DS. it had to be slightly early as she then had to pick her own child up from a different school.
Receptionist in the phone was fairly rude but agreed I could pick up early.
So I arrive at school with DD and receptionist was v rude to me. Kept going on about how the head was EXTREMELY unhappy with this. I asked what I should have done. Apparently I should have walked with a small toddler. In 4 inches of snow! She told me off like I was a child.
The hilarious thing is that when I got to reception classroom, they were watching telly!
DS has excellent attendance and is doing very well at school. AIBU? I didn't think so...but she was so rude!

OP posts:

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TheSecretCervixDNCOP · 14/01/2013 17:07

YANBU At all.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 14/01/2013 17:10

I can see her point, if this weather keeps up for the next few weeks and then parents start picking their kids up according to whatever time they can get a lift it will be disruptive for the whole class.

motherofvikings · 14/01/2013 17:12

Sorry but I think YBU.

If all 30 children in the class have different times of the day to go home (all at short notice) it makes the teachers life very hard in terms of keeping everyone else on task/ in the right place/ with the right adult etc etc very hard.

Im sure the receptionist could have been more polite but she probably thought YBU too perhaps.

I understand that treking through the snow with a toddler is no fun but it is do-able if a massive pain in the arse!

threesocksmorgan · 14/01/2013 17:13

yabu

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 14/01/2013 17:15

YANBU at my DCs school the last 15 mins were usually wasted spent tidying away and going to the loo. Far better you and your 4yo gets home safe IMHO.

itsatiggerday · 14/01/2013 17:16

It's amazing how different the ethos at different schools is. I haven't actually tested it, but I'm fairly certain that ours would have been thoroughly helpful on this and completely collaborative about making sure we were all able to travel safely.

Would they prefer that instead you had dug your car out, possibly got totally stuck and/or slid all over the place and had an accident requiring further delay and been half an hour late for pickup instead after having walked with the baby? I bet they'd have loved to have your child hanging around unplanned when the staff were all wanting to get home before dark in the snow....

I wouldn't feel bad in your shoes and would probably point that out as a reasonably likely alternative if they really want to kick up a fuss tomorrow.

dischordant · 14/01/2013 17:16

As a one off the receptionist needs to get a grip. All the time? You'll need to!

PastaDee · 14/01/2013 17:17

YANBU. I have left work a bit early due to snow to ensure I can get home and this doesn't seem any different to me.

It is inconvenient for the school but it isn't a regular occurrence. I also think the head should talk to you himself if he is that concerned rather than leave that to the secretary.

coldcupoftea · 14/01/2013 17:17

YANBU- I am a TA and 2 kids in our class went home about an hour early for this very reason. No fuss as far as I'm aware, the receptionist just came to the classroom and said their parents were here to collect them. It's not like it snows every day!

jamdonut · 14/01/2013 17:18

Were there other people with small children picking up their older offspring?

I don't think anyone went home early from our school today (Yorkshire Coast) and there was similarly a good deal of snow.

The head probably WAS unhappy, because it sets a precedent. Next time more people will ask to take children home early,because they will know you did and got away with it.

So they were watching something on the telly? Probably a video or DVD relevant to what they are learning about at the moment.

I think YABU.

amazingmumof6 · 14/01/2013 17:18

ridiculous behaviour from them, like you do this on a daily basis to get your nails done!
maybe from now on you should!

I once called the school, that I just can't take the kids to school - snow had melted, the refroze over night, just sheet of ice
I was 6 months pregnant with DS5 and also had pubis symphasis problems and was in pain, so
a, I couldn't have walked on the ice
b, didn't dare to drive

the answer to my explaining the situation was "well it's your decision" like I had a choice!!!!!
love the school, love the office ladies, they know me so well, and we have lovely chats etc.. all the more shocked I was at that attitude and I was fuming that they'd have to have an unauthorized absence!

as loads of people couldn't go in, it was ok at the end, but I just couldn't understand the reaction...

people are so pathetic sometimes, sorry she made you feel bad!

longjane · 14/01/2013 17:19

what is wrong with walking home from school in snow
great fun on 1st day of snow fall as there is no ice

LemonBreeland · 14/01/2013 17:21

YANBU particularly as your child does not legally need to be in school yet.

deleted203 · 14/01/2013 17:22

Of course, YANBU. And the poster seriously expecting you to walk a mile up a hill covered in 4 in of snow with a small child is completely ridiculous. For an extra 15 mins of schooling when you are 5? Come on!

Hanspannerly · 14/01/2013 17:24

I absolutely would have walked home from school if it had just been me and DS. However with a 2 year old DD, impossible. Over two miles in the snow up a massive hill and far too much snow for the pushchair it just wasn't a possibility. She weighs a tonne, I could never have carried her! I literally couldn't get the the car out, so it was either 15 mins early or 4 hours later when DH with a 4x4 gets home from work! The receptionist hadn't even told the class teacher DS would be leaving early so when I trekked over to reception building she had no idea I was coming ( and was not slightest bit bothered)

OP posts:

farewellfarewell · 14/01/2013 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hanspannerly · 14/01/2013 17:25

Lemon, I nearly said that to her when she was being horrid but I bit my tongue as I did not think it would improve the situation!

OP posts:

WileyRoadRunner · 14/01/2013 17:25

How far from the school do you live?

Hanspannerly · 14/01/2013 17:26

I live a mile from school. We are at the top of a very very large hill. School is at the bottom.

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ArnoldLaneHasaStrangeHobby · 14/01/2013 17:28

YANBU. Friend of mine (whose DS is in same class) had a set to with the Receptionist this morning, who called her a liar over the contents of a letter. Some of these clerical staff, just like Doctors receptionists, think they are teachers by default!

Friend had great pleasure informing her, actually, that she was right-I still had the letter at home and lent it to her. She got a very lackluster apology.

The thing I feel schools seem to forget now is that, ultimately, they are paid to do the job. We, however, are their parents and we make the final call on their safety, wellbeing, and if you need to get your child early due to the weather, its tough luck to them what they think

WileyRoadRunner · 14/01/2013 17:29

Sorry see you say about a mile.

I'm torn on this really.... On the face of it YANBU but then again what will you do for the rest of the week if it continues to snow?

Would you keep him off school when you only live "about a mile" away if you can't get a lift to/from everyday?

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2013 17:31

YABU

She shouldn't have been rude but I understand why she was pissed off.

As someone else said, it's the start of winter...surely you're not going to do this every time it snows?

Pair of wellies and a warm coat for the toddler and away you go. They'll soon get used to it.

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Viviennemary · 14/01/2013 17:32

YANBU. The school is being ridiculous. They would have found it more inconvenient if you had turned up late or couldn't get there at all because of bad weather. Sometimes you can't win with these people.

Hanspannerly · 14/01/2013 17:32

The roads were particularly bad today and the snow came down so fast I didn't get a chance to move my car from out tiny side road to the Main Street hence it getting stuck. When DH gets home we should be able to drive/push it onto main road and school run will then be doable tomorrow.

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DoodlesNoodles · 14/01/2013 17:32

Do you really need to ask

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