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To think we should be fertile from 25-50 ish?

(115 Posts)
Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sat 12-Jan-13 17:46:50

Just a bit frustrated that at the time I actually am starting to feel grown-up enough (ish) to try to conceive (aged 34) that apparently my fertility is about to fall off a cliff. We have been trying for a little while to no avail and I am wirrying about my eggs, I know everything else is ok. I'm not sure I even feel grown up enough yet but am feeling the clock tick-tick-ticking away!

Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sat 12-Jan-13 17:47:16

Worrying even!

TheBrideofMucky Sat 12-Jan-13 17:54:19

Not all of us take so long to mature grin.

Only joking, I had my son at just 24 (unplanned) and wouldn't have done it any other way. Uni and party nights out of the way, good jobs (but small mortgage, we hadn't weighted ourselves down with too much financially so maternity leave wasn't a struggle etc) and it has all worked out perfectly (for us). I certainly don't wish I'd waited and would never wish him not here for the sake of an extra year.

We all know how the human body works and if we want children, need to live with that in mind.

TheBrideofMucky Sat 12-Jan-13 17:58:53

Sorry you are having problems btw sad.

Have got over being vaguely outraged and hope things work out for you soon. There is still plenty of time at 34.

Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sat 12-Jan-13 18:02:46

Yeah, unfortunately I didn't meet DH until I was 32! Thanks {smile}

NamingOfParts Sat 12-Jan-13 18:06:09

I suppose that the problem is that for some people it does fall off a cliff and you dont know if that you will be one of those people.

You cant assume that you have time to play with. Do all the right things now, eat sensibly, cut out the alcohol. If you take recreational drugs then you need to stop. All of this applies to both of you.

Oh, and dont forget to have lots of sex!

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sat 12-Jan-13 18:12:49

I disagree with not being fertile before 25, because then I wouldn't have DD! grin I'm seven years younger than that!

Hope all goes well for you, good luck! smile

HarkAtYou Sat 12-Jan-13 18:14:46

The whole fertility thing is pants frankly. You're told from a young age not to even think about looking at a penis without protective goggles or you'll fall pregnant. Then when you do want to children it becomes apparent that constant shagging followed by waving your legs in the air for an hour will only marginally increase you're chances of getting lucky. Then you have 2 weeks driving yourself mad!
Then if you are pregnant there's a whole new world of fun and games to contend with. Then just when you're so uncomfortable you could smash something you have labour to look forward to.
Honestly, if you could just grow a baby in a plant pot at a time that suited you the whole process would be much more enjoyable.
I'm told that its all worth it though!

KentuckyFriedChildren Sat 12-Jan-13 18:17:42

Well as much as I feel for you, I'm 23 and have 3 children so no, I don't think 25 would be good. But I hope you have success soon though thanks

Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sat 12-Jan-13 18:21:21

Yep @Hark, I am already sick of waving my legs in the air and thinking that it's definitely this time!

Locketjuice Sat 12-Jan-13 18:25:58

And why 25! Who said you can't have kids before that?

Locketjuice Sat 12-Jan-13 18:26:35

And why 25! Who said you can't have kids before that?

Booyhoo Sat 12-Jan-13 18:33:57

oh OP. sorry it's taking longr than you had hoped.

i know this wont help you AT ALL but i think the fertility thing is because until very recently (in terms of human existence) people didn't live much beyond their 40's. so those women having children later (like late 30's early 40's) didn't have their genetic make-up survive as they died and they children died having no-one to protect them. i suppose it is possible that as we are now living longer we may evolve to have longer fertile periods and there is so much technology and medicine out there that can help you if you need it.

as i said. no use to you at all. i do wish you good luck though.

also, i had my ds at 19 and wouldn't change that at all.

Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sat 12-Jan-13 18:46:30

Thanks, I really do think evolution should have caught up by now. I neither had the partner or maturity to contemplate conception any younger. Of course you can have children younger, however, personally as things stand many people don't graduate until 21/22. Nowadays, most couples I know meed two incomes so you need some time to get a career established. So you can end up with a really short window of oppportunity.

MidnightMasquerader Sat 12-Jan-13 18:52:59

Well, I'm just 39 with two pre-schoolers, and I'm done. I'm way too old and knackered out for this malarky now. The thought of doing it at 50...! shock

I'm lucky I suppose, since it was all fairly text book for me. Met lovely, grown-up, mature DH days after turning 30, engaged at 32, married at 33 and knocked up at 34 and then again at 35.

You know what I think would be miles better, if we're fiddling around with fertility and human biology? <sly smilie> That instead of men being able to father babies into their 80s... They have the same fertile window as us women. I think that would even out the playing field quite nicely, personally.... wink

I didn't feel old enough until 35 so you grow up faster than me grin. Don't worry too much before you try. It took me 3-4 months of ttc and now I have a healthy DD.

Booyhoo Sat 12-Jan-13 18:55:53

it can be a very short window depending on how lucky you are in love and what education/career path you choose. i agree, it's time evolution caught up with us, even another 10 years would help alot of people out but there's nothing we can do to make that happen so we just have to work with what we've got.

MammaTJ Sat 12-Jan-13 18:56:05

I had my first at 27, my second at 37 and my last at 39. There is hope for you.

I like the idea men having the same fertile window as us midnight. Too many aren't ready to commit in their 20s because they see themselves as good father material still in their 40s I'm sure.

DamnBamboo Sat 12-Jan-13 18:56:34

I find this thread bizarre. It's being discussed as if there is a real alternative to err, developmental biology as it stands hmm

BackforGood Sat 12-Jan-13 18:56:40

What Midnight said - you really don't have the strength / energy to be hands on with small children in your 50s.

Booyhoo Sat 12-Jan-13 18:57:47

midnight- even fairer would be to make men able to carry the babies! grin

Booyhoo Sat 12-Jan-13 18:58:44

i didn't get that impression at all damnbamboo

DamnBamboo Sat 12-Jan-13 19:00:24

It's got sod all to do with evolution which are movements that are part of a set of other ordered movements.

Meeting partners later and having more of a presence in the workplace is a social change for women, not a biological one.

If there was an evolutionary advantage to having a fertile period later, then presumably those changes are taking place slowly (as is the case with evolution - small changes over millions of years, not just since women got the vote etc.)

McNewPants2013 Sat 12-Jan-13 19:00:42

By 25 I had 2 children, good luck ttc hope it don't take too long.

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